Just to confirm the fact that any sentiments expressed by Katie Couric at the end of each evening newscast are entirely disingenuine, she’s asking the viewing audience to come up with what will be her trademark parting phrase.
Here’s my suggestions:
“If you think that as hard, try doing that with Tri-Delt anniversary pin nipple piercings.”
“I’m Katie Couric, and I get my own bathroom. Not because I demanded it in the contract, but everyone else put it in theirs.”
“I’m done, and if my kids are watching instead of doing their homework, you’re getting the belt again.”
“CBS. See B S. Heh heh heh.”
“Thank you for 22 minutes of your undivided attention. Want a goddamned receipt?”
“From New York, with Betsy Cronkite’s blood on my hands, I’m Katie Couric.”
“Buy all the products you saw and make Aunty Katie happy, okay?”
“And now, your local news. Then, when that crap is over, CSI.”
“I still don’t make enough money to buy my soul back from Satan.”
“Pull my finger.”
“… and to all of our illegal alien viewers, you can switch back from the second audio program now.”
“It’s the Batsignal!”
“Hey, their first pick was John Madden. Deal with it.”
“From New York, making more errors and dollars per minute of work than Derek Jeter, I’m Katie Couric.”
Got better? Put ’em in the comments.
“I’ve decided not to bother with a trademark parting phrase, since no one is watching anyway.”
I am Katie Couric and this program has been brought to you by the DNC.
i sent one in for her to use. “I’m Katie Couric, and I’m better than you.” Not because she is, but because it’s what she’s thinking.
“K-Dog OUT!” Throw mike to the floor, flash the peace sign and walk off the set with plenty of ‘tude.
(with apologies to Paul Harvey) . . . and now you know the rest of the crazy. Gooooooood day!
(per David Bowie) This ain’t Rock and Roll, this is career suicide!
“This is Katie Couric, the only reporter who can make you nostalgic for Walter Duranty.”
How about…
That’s All That’s Left Of America
Seems to fit with cBS’s continuing editorial slant! Tom Friedman as a middle east expert…what a joke! He’s been wrong about everything he’s ever written and they just keep putting him on! But then…liberals have been wrong about everything they have ever tried or wanted to try…so why am I surprised!
“I can’t believe I got this job either, good night.”
How about: “that’s all from See BS…where all our news is fake, but accurate.”
SPOOOOOOON!
“This is Katie Couric saying goodnight, and your soul WILL be mine in time.”
That’s the news for tonight. Until tomorrow night, I’m Katie Couric, putting the Pee in Perky.
“That’s all the time I’ve got, ’cause I gotta go pee pee”
“I’m Katie Couric and you’re not.”
“I tell you what I think so you won’t have to”
This is Katie Couric of Borg. Resistance is Futile.
Prepare to be assimilated.
“Are you guys all from the same team?”
From all of us at Al-Jaz … uh … CBS, this is Katie al-Q’urik saying Allaaaahu Akhbaaaaarrr!!!
“This is Katie Couric sayig… what? What’s that card say? …no, I’m not reading that … no I’m not reading that…
She needs to just come out & say it: “I am not going away! Do you really want to have a busted old senior citizen to tell you what’s up, or me?”
“From all of us at Al-Jaz … uh … CBS, this is Katie al-Q’urik saying Allaaaahu Akhbaaaaarrr!!!”
This has gotta be the best one! I’m still laughin’ about it! Tommy you’ve got Frank beat this time.
And that’s the way we want you to think it is. Good night, David. Good night Katie. Good night Chet. Good night Katie. Good night John Boy. Good night Katie. Good night Gramma. Courage Gramma, courage.
I’m Katie Couric – death to america.
Or
Thats all folks!!
oh! oh! I have one!
I’m Catie Couric: unfair, unbalanced, and unmedicated. Now GO TO BED!
-how do you like THAT one?
oh, BURN!
I’m Katie Couric, and that’s… I SAID DIET COKE, B**CH!
J. Fred Muggs followed me from NBC!
“I gave Mary Mapes the fake National Guard documents. Fools!”
You can un-mute the TV now.
Was it good for you?
I miss you, Matt.
Ha Ha! I’m voting for the “From all of us at Al Jaz…”, except instead of Allaaaahu Akhbaaaaarrr, put “l’cheim” to really mask CBS’s identity.
Oh why bother you will never be as smart or cute as me
(Ala Jim Carrey in Bruce Almighty…)
“Back to you, F***ERS!”
How about just plain:
“Sorry”
Simple, heartfelt apologies always work best.
I agree, Tommy’s got the best one. Definitely made me laugh. 🙂