This morning, terrorists tried to storm the U.S. Embassy in Damascus while shouting, as Reuters put it, “religious slogans” (according to the sources of blogger Mary Katherine Ham, the religious slogans were “Jesus loves me, this I know.”). Three of the terrorists were killed and one was wounded while they succeeded in only killing one person, one of Syria’s anti-terrorism forces, and failed to even harm a single American diplomat.
Sounds like a “moral victory” for the terrorists to me, a Kossian triumph, if you will. Their goals were not accomplished, more harm was inflicted on them than they inflicted, but they stuck to their principles while mindlessly fighting overwhelming odds, and that’s worth something. I’m not sure what it’s worth – that’s more of question for Kos, the Queen of Moral Victories – but, as terrorists find real victories much harder to attain, I think they should learn from these principled gunmen and focus on the moral victory.
Despite what some may say, effective terrorism isn’t that easy. If orchestrated attacks against America were a simple thing, we’d certainly have seen much more of it in the past five years. What is easy and doesn’t take a lot of planning – planning that can be picked up by intelligence services – is simply charging the infidels with guns blazing.
You can’t just charge any infidels, though; for a real moral victory, one you can clutch to in your times of darkest misery, you have to take on overwhelming odds. Unfortunately for the terrorists, they can’t hire Kos as a consultant since he’s busying trying to flip Sen. Joe Lieberman over to the Republicans – his magnum opus of moral victories – though I’m sure he’d be glad to help as long as none of the terrorists watch anything on ABC. Still, I have my own advice for terrorists who want to really show their worth by sticking to their beliefs while picking a battle they can’t possibly win: Attack heavily armed U.S. Marines head on.
Now there are some overwhelming odds… especially if the Marines have tanks and stuff. The terrorists might think you have some chance since the Marine will probably keel over laughing when they see you charging them, but the Marines are trained to fire from keeled over positions. Actually, the only hope of victory for them is that the Marines would all suddenly have heart attacks and spontaneously drop dead; it’s extremely unlikely, but it’s hope nonetheless, and that’s all you need to pick a fight and gain a moral victory. And what a moral victory that would be for the terrorists; they would be fighting the best armed, best trained fighting force in the world. Though they would be slaughtered wholesale, they would die knowing they didn’t let rational fear keep them from attempting an unattainable victory. As they’re cut to pieces, they could rest assured they stuck to their principles.
So, stick to your beliefs, terrorists, and go for the moral victory. Stop cowering in the shadows when you can instead fight for what you believe in against the overwhelming force of U.S. military might. Then, you can know you weren’t a cowards but instead gave it your all for what you believed it, and that’s something that you can hold onto even while you’re stuck in flames that burn but do not consume. Maybe Kos will even take a break from leading the Democrats to extinction through his own moral victories to cheer you guys on; just don’t point out that he seems a bit… well… “off”. That causes him to go completely nuts.
Frank J. is a syndicated columnist whose columns appear worldwide on IMAO.us. He is also the author of such books as “Understanding the Mind of a Terrorist (Now with Color Photos from the Dissection)” and “The Pied Piper of the New Age: More Proof that Kos Is Actually Karl Rove”.
If only Kos could be more like the Cos. If these commie libs could just focus on Jello pudding, and forget about political power, the country would be a lot safer.
I agree 100%!
Kos could teach them the importance of a ‘Moral Victory” while our military retires. We could even videotape him working with them and sell the Sitcom on TV. Lots of people would get a few laughs, and pretty soon Islam would disappear.
I agree 100%!
Kos could teach them the importance of a ‘Moral Victory” while our military retires. We could even videotape him working with them and sell the Sitcom on TV. Lots of people would get a few laughs, and pretty soon Islam would disappear.
//So, stick to your beliefs, terrorists, and go for the moral victory. Stop cowering in the shadows when you can instead fight for what you believe in against the overwhelming force of U.S. military might. Then, you can know you weren’t a cowards but instead gave it your all for what you believed//
Brillian idea, Frank, this would not only accomplish the extremist goal of winning Paradise, but may also give them a chance to prove how great and powerful their “ALLAH” is. As during the 6 Days War when God sent His angels to back up the Israeli infantry and send egyptian tank drivers scurrying from the front lines, the mooselimbs could call upon their “allah” and have him back up their attack. This will prove that their god is more powerful than us nasty satanic Americans.
As I said with the libtards who can’t get it together enough to overthrow the current goverment…I dare you, I freaking triple dog dare those insane goatbangers to run the line and see how believing in mohammed will back them up.
Agreed, the terrorists should charge down the 120mm barrels of our Abrams. They could have moral victory and our boys could have some valuable target practice.
I think it was Patton who said, “We shall grease the treads of our tanks with their guts…”
You know, it seems that the terrorists are the only ones trying to hold up their end of the bargain. The Koran commands true followers of Islam to kill all Joooos, Christians, and any others that refuse to convert.
I realize that allah hasn’t really helped them that much yet but maybe they just need more followers charging the lines. Maybe they aren’t calling out to him loud enough. He’s pretty old, maybe he’s hard of hearing now. Maybe he’s been busy finding virgins for them. Maybe he’s on vacation. Maybe he’s been taking a nap.
Maybe he’s a false god of a worthless religion. Let them keep looking for moral victories. We’ll be happy to keep supplying them.
Great post once again!
Ah–now I understand KOS! It’s about “moral victories”! But, if that is what KOS is after, does that not intimate that KOS would recognize”morale” if it pulled down his pants and bit him on his thingy? I don’t think so!!!
The marines used to have a saying “kill them all and let God sort them out”. I used to think this was a horrible way to think. 9/11 changed my mind, I now understand that this saying is the only thing terrorists understand. You can’t negotiate with them. The only way to get their attention is to hit them very hard over the head repeatedly. Either they die or they suddenly pay attention.
I’m starting to feel the same way about Liberals. I should feel bad about that but my give a d**n is busted.
To me, one of the greatest evidences that there is a God is that the enemies of God are so united – theoretically liberals and islamic terrorists should be as far apart as possible, yet they are constantly stuck together in the fluids of amore, as it were, and are unified in the hatred of the very people who keep them from killing or corrupting each other – those friends of God stuck in the middle and getting it from both sides. It reminds me of what Jesus said about the house of the devil not being divided against itself.
As far as the Syrian explosion goes, I find it darkly amusing that a Chinese official at a nearby embassy was watching through the window and took injury to the face. I wonder what he thinks of his official position in supporting terrorist governments and being obstructionist in preventing the US from dealing with them?
Mmmm . . . Mary Katherine Ham
On the contrary, everything the Islamofascists have leared HAS come from Kos and his dirty lib comrades. Why do you think the most popular American (using the term loosely)personalities on Al-Jazeer are Jerry Springer and Michael Mooron? What I find humorous is the fact that if the Islamofacists were ever to be victorious, who do you think would be the first with a date on the beheading block? (Sigh). Liberalisim IS a mental disorder.
By the way, you want a military slogan that terrorists will understand? My personal favorite: “Nuke ’em ’till they glow, then shoot ’em in the dark”. Knock me for saying it, but a couple well-placed atom bombs seemed to have halted suicide warriors just fine 63 years ago.