Hey, sportsfans. It’s been a while, and I have a bit to get off my chest. Let’s start with the main issue: the 2006 elections. It’s going to be here soon, and the reality is that the Republicans are probably going to lose the House. Well, boo-freaking-hoo. Lately, the Grand Old Party has left me as uninspired as the latest American Idol rip-off. Not only haven’t they thrown us faithful any red meat, they haven’t even tossed us a few pieces of beef jerky. I mean, the country is being threatened by an army of nutball scum with no civilized sense of humanity or decency – and that’s just the moonbats on the leftwing blogs – but the poodles in Congress aren’t exactly rallying the public. You’d hope a few Republicans would have enough sense to walk around with a towel-wrapped Islamist’s head on a pike – his mouth frozen mid “Allah!” – while pointing to it and proudly saying, “Yeah, my voting record helped accomplish this. Frankly, if things keep going as they are, we’re going to have to order more pikes because we simply don’t have enough to match the supply of terrorist heads. Actually, if you see a sale on pikes at the Wal-Mart, please pick us up a few.”
But, no, that’s not going to happen because that would take some courage of convictions and, frankly, some stones – and, if I were to name one thing in short supply across the river Potomac, that would be it. How can we find leadership from people lacking the energy to even slap around the Democrats – the sissies of sissies? I mean, Democrats get thrown out of gay bars for being so swishy that just make everyone there too gosh darn uncomfortable. The average Democratic male needs daily injections of testosterone to keep his voice from sounding like Mickey Mouse and to keep his testes nearing the size of peanuts. If you can’t bully those guys (and I use the term loosely) around, then you’re probably handing over your lunch money every recess to Urkel.
Anyway, my point – and, unfortunately for you, I have one – is that A fire needs to be lit under the backsides of these milquetoasts in Congress, and I know exactly what will do it:
SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE NANCY PELOSI
The nancypelosi is able to shoot blood out of its eyes when threatened.
Take a good look, boys: that’s the face you wake up next to in hell. I honestly don’t know if it’s a result of a plastic surgeon stretching her skin with enough force to rend steel, or is it that her skull, quite understandably, is trying with all its might to escape.
If that’s churning your stomach, just think of the affect it will have on our fighting men and women overseas. It’s enough to make the most grizzled Marine break down and cry like a little girl. If the sight of Speaker of the House harpy queen doesn’t cause our troops to question exactly what they are fighting for, then they are truly the soulless killers the leftwing loons make them out to be.
But this is our coming reality, folks, and the bad news is that captain tight face has the biggest penis of all the Dems in the House. When they’re in charge, they’ll try and change the focus to their usual piddling crap and ignore the fact that there are currently oodles of smelly savages out there with less rationality behind their murderousness than the guy singing Folsom Prison blues. If forced to confront terrorism, the Democrats will probably try and bake the killers some cookies as a peace offering and then hide in the corner while shielding their faces and hair from damage.
So that will be our reality for two years, and I think it’s a good thing. San Fran Nan’s mug alone should motivate the Republicans to get to killing all the terrorists just so they don’t have to stare at that thing every day they get to work. Also, having the snot-nosed toddlers that is the Democratic party guarding the gates should wake up everybody to exactly what kind of leadership we need.
Remember: Our enemies are out there, and their entire day is filled with plotting our deaths and violating goats. Some even plot our death while violating the goats – which, frankly, is just plain rude to the goat and only underlines what kind of scum we are dealing. If leaving the country in the charge of the whiny and the insane for two years is what it takes to get serious about blowing the terrorists apart into bite-sized pig feed, then give me a ballot with Ds next to the names and I’ll make sure not to just dimple those chads. Just please first past some legislation that mandates the Congress only be videotaped in grainy black and white footage, because seeing Pelosi in her full HD glory would be too much for even me to take.
It is a good thing that I skipped breakfast. Still, that is too much this early in the morning.
FrankJ:
I would have hoped that the Republicans would have acted on the promises (smaller government and less regulation) that got them elected. Since they have not and are spending money like drunken Kennedys, I am afraid you are correct that nothing short of two years of the Pelosi monster could possibly wake them up.
Luckily, since I live in a district and state where my vote doesn’t count (I don’t think the Democrats are even running anyone for the house and the senate is the off year) I personally won’t have to make the horrible choice between voting for someone who says they will do what I want them to do, (knowing full well they won’t actually follow through) or for someone who says they are going to do the opposite of what I want (with the sick assurance they WILL do what they say) to “send a message.”
I feel for those of you who are conservatives who will have to make that choice and Lord help this country if two years is not long enough for the problems with liberal “leadership” to become obvious. Four years of a Hillary Clinton would be a steep price to pay.
Conservatives must somehow retain the senate though or the damage may be catastrophic. The country NEEDS better supreme court justices.
So THAT’s what the thing that killed Steve Irwin looks like!
she may be scarier than the Hildebeast
eeeeeee!!! Wow, that is NOT what I wanted to see when I woke up…shudders
Unfortunately, I think 4 or 8 years of Hillary are exactly what we are in for. (Just from an end-times perspective) God help us and Israel if that happens.
Almost scarier than Hillary as Prez is the thought of old “Dropping Pants” Bill being the referred to as the ‘First Gentleman’.
Bleeearrrurrrgh!
What Mark said.
God that is one Ugly Woman, Whats incredible is that shes even uglier inside=Evil
Bah! Capitalist swine! Did Stalin teach you nothing? It is not the votes that count… it is who counts those votes that counts! And to either major party the voters count for nothing.
It is our view that Republicans biting the big one and Pelosi taking over the House is a good thing. Why? If you are a RINO or a DINO this change is right on schedule.
The parties get to swap talking points again, the pundits get to swap positions again, the media gets to sing “Impeach Bush!” again but most of all – after “pulling out” of anything good for America the Dems get to “thrust it in” to Americans again… Hmmm – so really, nothing changes at all but the name of the management.
America is screwed until a modern-day Thomas Jefferson with an M-16 shows up to frog-march the whole bought & paid-for Congressional lot to a nice penal colony somewhere. (I thnk there is an EPA reg prohibiting tar & feathers.)
Nancy Pelosi will not faze mainstream America… not after 9-11’s plastic flag mentality faded away to become Maxine Waters, Cindy Sheehan, the Dean scream and “late-term abotion rights for hamsters”, etc… If American reaction to jihadi’s attacking the U.S. can be led toward a party of pole-smoking crack-heads with Howard Dean, Hillery Clinton and Nancy Pelosi at the helm… then don’t look to the ballot box for a solution. Look at the media that’s putting the votors into a coma. (Even the dead ones that manage to vote.)
America simply doesn’t care about Pelosi. They’re watching t.v. & “The Game” is on… “Pelosi? Pelosi who? Didn’t he play for the Rams?”
We resume our regularly scheduled oppressive regime already in progress.
Now THAT’S why I read IMAO! Welcome back fearless leader!
Man, that puppet always freaked me out on Twilight Zone. The way the lifeless eyes moved. Where did you find a color pic?
My poor republican party! I can’t even bring myself to capitalize it anymore– Ronald Wilson Regan must be rolling over in his grave! My party has been taken over by Arlen Specter, Olympia Snow and Bill Frist! Any time fat old Teddy Kennedy sobers up long enough to say “Boo” the leaders of my party dive for cover under their desks and cry like high school girls! Any republicans with a “pair” (Newt, Delay, Bennet, Rove etc.) have been publicly vilified with no visible support from my party! As a broken hearted Regan conservative, I will be staying home on Election Day this year!
Sounds like someone needs a hug!!??
Last time I saw a mouth like that I removed a hook from it!
Rather than a “hug” how about taking all of Bushes conservative judges and sticking them squarely up Harry Reid’s ass! We own the House, Senate and White House! Let’s ram them through then have someone in the senate with a set of stones stand up and point at Dirty Harry and say “that’s what I’m talkin’ bout biatch!”–now that would motivate me–but–sigh–it’s been a long 4 years for the little trooper–
It is sad to say that the person with the largest amout of “stones” in the Senate is probably the scary person pictured above. Former Pres. Reagan is weeping over the mess the crybabies have made out of the party, congress and the country.
I wish with all my heart we could find an actual leader, someone who believes in and understands what the Republican Party is supposed to stand for ( and it ain’t Pork barrel politics, that’s for dang sure- they ought to find out whose holding up that bill and tar and feather him, right before they run him out of town on a rail. Sometimes the old ways of taking care of problems turn out to be the best don’t ya think)
Seems we repugs are grooming our own evil mannequin looking politician….Katherine Harris. She got nice boobs though, and has yet to turn people into stone just by having them gaze upon her heavily painted visage.