Well, it’s that time of year again… The United Nations General Assembly meets for the 61th time. This means there will be the usual parade of dictators, despots, and death-dealers lining up to shriek, bitch, and beg.
Now I proposed a few fun games to play two years ago, and I even got a drinking game together for #60, but times change… and the anti-American/anti-Semitic UN doesn’t!
Here we go again:
THE 61ST GENERAL ASSEMBLY DRINKING GAME
Drink for each of the following:
- A speaker tries to speak English. Badly. (Includes George Bush)
- A speaker mentions being in New York City, site of 9/11 (Includes George Bush)
- A speaker shows up in full tribal dress (Triple if it’s George Bush)
- A speaker denounces the American government. (Double if they’re a recipient of American foreign aid)
- A speaker denounces the Israeli government. (No bonus if it’s the Israeli representative himself, double if it is a government that is currently occupying territory: Turkey in Kurdistan, Spain in Morocco, England in Gibraltar, etc.)
- A speaker praises a fellow dead dictator. (ie Hitler, Castro, Dan Rather)
- A speaker praises Kofi Annan. (Double if it’s Kofi Annan)
- A speaker whines about an old grudge. (ie Azerbaijan vs. Armenia, Turks vs. Greeks or Greek Cypriots, Roger Waters vs. his medication)
- A speaker “shows solidarity” with Iraqis, but their country hasn’t lifted a damn finger to help them.
- A speaker “shows solidarity” with Lebanese, but their country hasn’t lifted a damn finger to help them.
Chug:
- Video shows Arabs/Muslims walking out before Israel speaks.
- A speaker demands Kofi Annan gets re-elected to a third term as Secretary General.
- A shoe or other form of footwear is pounded on the podium.
- Hezbollah, Al-Qaida and Viacom send representatives to speak at the podium.
- Someone says “Sofia Loren’s in her seventies, and she’s still hot!”
- A formal declaration of war is made from the podium.
- The Twelfth Imam emerges from under the podium, wipes his mouth, and says “One hundred and eightythree! Beat that, Elton John!”
Any other rules I should add?
Oh, and feel free to study last year’s archive of speeches to study what this collective bunch of bastards love to whine about. Not only does the webcast let you see the unedited (ie uncensored by AP and Reuters) whining from around the world, but you can watch the proceedings at your liesure to avoid having to drink while at work.
Unless you want to drink while at work.
Lair, everyone would end up with alcohol poisoning if they followed your rules.
The UN the AXIS OF HYPOCRACY while they join in fancy dinners to curd world hunger they go to RIO in jets and limos to attend the big EARTH SUMMIT then they meet around the 4th of JULY with armed guards for world wide gun control we dont need this damn UN anymore
Wow. A drinking game where you through up before you get drunk. Brilliant!!!
Death dealers? Does that mean Kate Beckinsale will be there?
Drink for any of the following words:
hegemony, Zionism (or, e.g., Zionism), conspiracy, aggression, indiscriminate
Chris-
No. Kate Beckinsale is WAY too hot for the UN. Think more along the lines of Brian Peppers.
that should have been “e.g., Zionist“. Any form of the word “Zionism” counts, is what I was trying to say. “Global Zionist conspiracy” is two drinks.
Elton John? Sorry. Thought that was Albright. My bad.
Hey, I’m only in my sixties! Why doesn’t anybody think that I’m hot?
Her Barbra,
What’s REALLY hot is that huge resonating chamber on your face.
The UN drinking game is too hard. I prefer the Ted Kennedy Triathlon: drink, drive, swim. Each team requires two participants, one of which is sacrificial. Only single-malt scotch is allowed, and contestants are disqualified if caught with a lifejacket.
Hey Barbra,
What’s REALLY hot is that huge resonating chamber on your face.
The UN drinking game is too hard. I prefer the Ted Kennedy Triathlon: drink, drive, swim. Each team requires two participants, one of which is sacrificial. Only single-malt scotch is allowed, and contestants are disqualified if caught with a lifejacket.
Tommy,
Bwahahaha! That is so wrong, yet so hilarious.
The Twelfth Imam emerges from under the podium, wipes his mouth, and says “One hundred and eightythree! Beat that, Elton John!”
They’ll be after you once they’re bored with Mr. Pope I tell you!
I don’t see how anyone would survive this drinking game. Alcohol poisoning deaths would abound if you even tried to keep up!
I just woke up, they must be over. Are the dictators done yet or do I have to start over?
I heard on the AP this morning that President Bush said (very wisely) that US citizens don’t have much use for the UN. Well Lair, your drinking game is proving him wrong.
burp guzzle gulp burp
how about if your administration gets overthrown while your at the confrence???
//how about if your administration gets overthrown while your at the confrence???//
You know something about Thailand we don’t know ‘tom’?
(what happens in Bangkok, STAYS in Bangkok)…snicker…bangkok….