Pajamas Media has a contest to come up with a good name for people who don’t fall under the “left-wing” or “right-wing” labels. Here are my ideas:
“Half-wits”
“Goobers”
“Swishy”
“People I Have Punched or Will Punch in the Face”
“Stupid Ugly Monkey People”
“Hagel”
I’ve never had much use for moderates, and I never will.
Future Cemetary Filler. (How many moderates survived the concentration camps? Death marches? Wars in general… or in particular?)
Wasted Oxygen
Vermin
Fertilizer
Disengenuous cowards. Probably too many syllables for a catch phrase, but apt. They need a soft, spongy word, something with no sharp edges.
Fluffernutters
Wispywoozles
Fluffocrats
I don’t think highly of “moderates” either. Everyone has strong opinons. Everyone.
Here are my suggestions:
Appeasers
Wingless (or maybe Spineless)
I like Stupid Ugly Monkey People or SUMPs the best.
Sporks
May also work as a verb
roadkill (if they’re “middle of the road”);
nausea (if they’re the “angry middle”);
blobs (for spinelessness); or
goatse (for splitting the difference by being, for instance, fiscally conservative and socially criminal).
Mediogers
“politicians”
Centristadores
Middle Earthers
Muddles
Indepondscum
But SUMP’s is the best
Fuselage
Lukewarm Spew
How about indecisive apathetic troggs
Yingyangs?
Speedbumps. That’s what becomes of those sit in the middle of the road.
…those who sit in the middle of the road, rather.
I don’t particularly trust people who call themselves “moderates” or “middle of the road,” but I at least wish the media would start including the term “libertarian” in with liberal and conservative. At least then we wouldn’t have to hear Dennis Miller or the puppy blender described as Conservatives.
McCain?
I already submitted “The Iconoclasts”.
I also suggested that the PJM folks might license this guy to market the new term to the American public.
I would like to state firmly, and for the record, that I have no strong opinion on the matter.
According to my Bible, God also despises moderates.
Rev 3:16
“So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth.”
I therefore nominate the title of “vomit” be bestowed on all moderates.
Here endeth the lesson.
pissants
Nevillechamberpots
Hey, what about us moderates who read IMAO on a regular basis? Don’t we have a use? Or should I just line up for my punch in the face?
Democrats
Hmmm We have moderate who read IMAO?
Buy some t-shirts,
take your face punch without complaining
and we’re good.
i like spacemonkey’s suggestion of Muddles.
and Gun Nut’s on to something. Maybe they should be called Laodiceans.
MB – Ummmmm…one person isn’t much of a line…now hold still…
Stupid Ugly Monkey People is great because you could call them SUMPs for short 🙂
Neutral Stupid.
Come on guys, read the article. He’s not referring to people who have no opinions or lukewarm opinions, just those whose opinions can’t be preducted by the label liberal or conservative. I consider myself to be stubbornly conservative. But that stubbornness demands that I make my own decisions using my own criteria about what is right, not jumping to the commands of the Conservative gestapo. That’s what I’d like to see from liberals, they should use their heads instead of parroting what they heard in Michael Moore’s last movie.
Closet Liberals
They’re affraid of what their families would think if they found out they’re lefties.
When I vote for someone with an (R) behind his name, I expect he’ll uphold the values of the (R) Party…If he doesn’t, I call him a…
Sellout
Bah! If you have a plastic cat tail to stick in the moderate’s rear-end you can call them THIS! If not, then just get the real thing instead!
Much better than an real moderate… Yes, it still goes back & forth in happy indecision with no actual movement to the left or right… but unlike a moderate it acually serves a useful purpose.
An egg.
Since when is thinking for yourself being a moderate?
What friggin tards we have here. I don’t toe the line so I’m a coward? Wouldn’t you followers more fit that?
I’ll be sure to write Boortz and let him know you think he’s a closet liberal moderate.
Personally, the only non-negiotable issue is the War on Terror. This is probably why I like Rudy so much.
Are you pro-choice? I can probably live with that.
Pro gay-marriage? I respectfully disagree but definitely see where you’re coming from.
Against the death penalty? Alright, life without parole can be quite effective, though I don’t like having a murderer live out the next few decades on the taxpayers dime.
Are you an athiest? Don’t try to convince me God doesn’t exist and I won’t try to convince you he does.
Against tax cuts? I have some interesting statistics to show you.
Think Islamic Fundamentalists are a misunderstood lot who need aid and caring instead of exploded heads, or maybe even that the Bush admin is even worse than them?
A great statesman once said “Go f*ck yourself”.
This is what I see as healthy moderation. Every other issue can be debated so long as we ensure that we’ll continue to live in a world where we don’t suffer the constant risk of beheading for our views.
“Trophy”
Landfill material
Target Practice
Boxing dummy
axe sharpening tool (sharpen axe by splitting their head
bullseye for when the moon is nuked