North Korea threatened to test a nuclear weapon. How will things be different afterwards?

10) New record set for world’s poofiest mushroom cloud.
9) Second nuclear test on North Korean soil, courtesy of an irritable Donald Rumsfeld.
8) Condi Rice has to drag out her Super-Diplomatic, Thigh-High, Black Leather Negotiating boots again.
7) Emptied missile silo now available for stowing political dissidents.
6) Grand opening of Disney Pyongyang – The Glowingest Place On Earth!
5) France thrilled by new opportunity to surrender.
4) Mark Foley’s 15 minutes of fame abruptly cut short.
3) Kim Jong Il despondent upon discovering that radiation doesn’t ACTUALLY give you super powers.
2) Bush’s status as biggest threat to world peace miraculously unchanged among leftists.
1) North Korea forced to explain away yet another embarrassing Dong malfunction.

Of course, it might not be a missle-based nuke. They could decide to just drop it out of the Enora Gay.

Here’s John Murtha caught on video negotiating a bribe. Apparently he wants to know people better before they have the privilege of bribing him. Anyway, watch the video and ask yourself “How did he survive that politically?”
FULL DISCLOSURE: I helped Republican Timothy Holloway campaign against Murtha back in 1998 – well before trying to defeat Murtha was so popular – and I feel I deserve more credit for that.

Justice Scalia uses the awful slur “tequila.” Allahpundit has the details.
It’s macaca all over again, but not as fun to shout over and over.
UPDATE:
Kos has caught on to the outrage. I think it’s pretty obvious neither he nor any of the commenters have read the statement in question.

Fans of the IMAO Podcast who use Podcast Pickle can now head to the Pickle Page for IMAO’s Podcast.
Yes, I know, I left myself off the cast list there. Gary gives only so much space for that field, and I figured I should mention everybody else first.
Oh, and if I go nuts like Scott did, well, I’ll still hand over ownership of the Pickle Page to Frank. Because I’m a nice guy…

Continue reading ‘The Pickle Page’ »

CNN newsman Miles O’Brien today was involved in a clash of global warming opinions with Senator James Inhofe. During the discussion, Mr. CNN quoted, The Day After Tomorrow scenario, the thriller movie about global warming catastrophe.

We at IMAO are very happy that CNN fully supports the movie industry and those hard working actors who bust their butts for mere thousands per day.
In fact, in addition to the Day After Tomorrow Scenario, CNN has also used other movies as a basis for rational argument.

Continue reading ‘CNN: Day After Tomorrow – Exhibit A’ »

Uh-oh. It’s looking like the Mark Foley scandal could define this upcoming election. Then again, we still have almost all of October left, leaving time for new October surprises. Here’s what I think could happen:
POSSIBLE OCTOBER SURPRISES
* It is revealed which Democrat members of Congress are part of al Qaeda and shoot them on live television. Ted Kennedy dies screaming, “Allah akhbar!”
* All of the Republican Congress go into a closed door session. Later, only a few emerge covered in blood and announce, “The Republican party is now smaller but stronger.”
* Zawahiri is captured and he is forced to convert to Christianity on video while taking a new Christian name: Bob.
* Finally, the frozen body of Osama bin Laden that we all know Karl Rove has had hidden all this time is taken out and defrosted. It then staged of him being personally shot by President Bush as he supposedly invades a fund raiser.
* After a mysterious meeting between President Bush, Halliburton, Exxon, and OPEC, gas drops to $0.25 a gallon.
* A simultaneous invasion of Iran and France is launched. The two populations are switched. No notable change of attitude is noticed in either country.
* John Bolton mysteriously leaves in the middle of a U.N. Security Council. Seconds later, the entire building explodes. Numerous federal agencies claim responsibility.
* It is announced that the reason Kissinger has been meeting with the President is that Vietnam has been secretly invaded and is now under the control of the U.S., and thus the Vietnam War has been won (waiting them out then hitting them when they least expected it was Kissinger’s plan all along). Now, comparisons of Iraq to Vietnam means there will be a stunning victory when you least expect it.
What surprise do you think will happen in October? Write it in the comments and you’ll win IMAO Bonus Points if it comes true.

Now that the muckadoos are all focused on connecting every single living Republican to the Mark Foley scandal, does that mean they are no longer hyperventilating about how the new bill on interrogation will remove habeas corpus and is our first step into becoming a fascist state?
Those guys really need to learn to multitask their overreactions.