Why has Laurence been so quiet?

No, the cats haven’t eaten me.
The truth is, I’ve been down in IMAO Labs for a few days working on a new project.
Why? Well, it seems that some of y’all are wanting a IMAO Video Podcast, so FrankJ rolled a dime down the stairs, I ran after it, and he locked me in the basement until I came up with a video podcast.
(I resisted the penny and the nickel, but when it was a dime, well, I just couldn’t resist! Damn my money-sniffing genes!)
I know that many of you were hoping for SarahK to star in the IMAO Video Podcast because she’s so pretty and all (way prettier than Michelle Malkin), but FrankJ wasn’t about to leave her locked in the basement with me, so…

Continue reading ‘Why has Laurence been so quiet?’ »

Frank Discussions: Rep. Dave Weldon

In the interest of fairness, after interviewing Democrat Dr. Bob Bowman who is running to be the Congressman for Florida District 15 (where I live), I once again extended an offer to Republican Rep. Dave Weldon so that he could respond to Dr. Bowman’s “interesting” views as well as other important questions. He accepted, so I e-mailed out the tough questions (Full Disclosure: I’m a partisan hack). Here’s the interview:
Q. Your opponent, Dr. Bob Bowman, thinks that there was a government conspiracy behind 9/11. Other than the numerous eye witness accounts, the forensic evidence, the analysis by structural engineers, the intense media scrutiny, the statements by al Qaeda, collected intelligence, and common sense, what evidence do you have that 9/11 was in fact done by Islamic extremists and was not a gigantic government plot?
How about Osama himself, who not only took credit for the 9/11 event and claimed Atta as one of his key ring leaders, but on the video he sent out shortly after the event he gleefully said that “the damage was greater than expected” and elaborated more about his wicked plan in detail. It would take a very special (insert your own euphemism) cynicism to say he wasn’t responsible.
Q. If there are more government conspiracies in the future, will you make sure to be a part of them so that they will benefit your constituents?
If my constituents knew, then it wouldn’t be a genuine “conspiracy.”
Q. In my interview, Dr. Bowman stated that the greatest threat to America is the “fascist regime of George W. Bush”. What do you think the greatest threat to America is?
As an old Army officer we had a term called IFF…Identify: Friend or Foe. In wartime those who can’t seem to distinguish friend of foe can be as dangerous as the enemy himself.
Q. A popular issue in the blogosphere is pork spending. I’m highly against any pork that doesn’t benefit me. What’s your stance on that issue?
Every year Congress passes spending bills. What and how we spend is, constitutionally, up to Congress. Not the president, not the bureaucrats and not the lobbyists. Some Members of Congress end up abusing that privilege, losing the people’s trust. Earmarks for “bridges-to-nowhere” is that kind of abuse. That happened because there was no sunshine on that earmark. No longer. I voted this year to “Sunshine” all such projects from now on. They will stand or fall on their merits, as they should.
Q. You seem to be a strong supporter of energy independence, but if we stop buying oil, won’t that just make everyone in the Middle East even angrier?
That’s liberal nonsense. I’d rather they be angry and penniless than “less angry” and flush with our cash. For me it’s simple: Energy security means national security. We must be self-sufficient as best we can. The status quo is just not acceptable.
Q. The government is supposed to build a fence along part of the U.S. southern border, but scientific studies have shown that people are capable of climbing fences. Do you support any other methods to secure our border?
The bill the president just signed is not just for any average picket fence. It’s double layered, penetrating the ground as well to prevent tunneling and loaded up with the latest detection equipment. If it cuts down a large majority of illegals (which it will), I’ll be happy. We did this in California and it worked well.
Q. All the talk seems to be about the Southern border, but what about the Canadian threat?
You go where the problem is, but we have deployed more resources to the Canadian border as well.
Q. Living on the Space Coast, one of our biggest problems are noisy space shuttles. The last time the Space Shuttle Atlantis returned, it was early morning and the loud boom from its reentry woke me up and scared my dog. Can’t you do something about that, like maybe tell the astronauts to slow it down a bit? I know they’re anxious to get home, but it’s not like the earth is going anywhere… is it?
After 12 days in space, wouldn’t you be anxious to get home too?
Q. Your opponent says that violent video games are bad because they desensitize our soldiers. My wife says violent video games are bad because they are a monumental waste of time. I think violent video games are good because they’re fun. Who is right?
You wife sounds very wise. As a matter of fact on all issues of dispute between your wife and Bob Bowman, go with your wife.
Q. Regardless of what happens in the upcoming election, Florida will no longer have a governor named Jeb. Should I be scared for our future?
Only if the Democrat gets elected.
Q. My brother is a Marine and has served in Iraq and will most likely go there again. One of his complaints was that they had too much body armor in Iraq and that it was beginning to clutter their camps. Will you support the de-funding of body armor for our troops to prevent clutter?
If clutter saves lives, I’m all for it.
Q. My wife won’t let me vote for anyone who doesn’t support killing terrorists. What’s your stance on that important issue?
You wife is sounding smarter and smarter.
Q. If next year you have to serve under Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, how sad will you be?
Not as sad as the voters will be when they learn that Nancy thinks they deserve a tax increase to go along with those new civil rights for terrorists.
Q. In 2003, you published a science fiction novel called Moongate. What other activities besides writing novels do you do while other Congressman are speaking at the Capitol?
I love playing my guitar with my band named the “2nd Amendments.” The best gig ever was with the troops in Iraq this past Christmas.
Q. My wife is constantly complaining about different ailments. As a medical doctor, is there something you can prescribe her to shut her up?
You wife is sounding smarter and smarter.
Q. Living in Florida, we’re constantly threatened by hurricanes, alligators, lightning, and tourists. What are you doing to make Florida safer?
Let’s start with defeating my opponent in November.
Q. According to Wikipedia, you once killed an alligator with your bare hands to defend a group of school children on a fieldtrip. What did you learn from that experience?
I learned mostly that it wasn’t true.
Q. Why do you think you deserve reelection?
I don’t deserve anything. If I get reelected it was because I earned it. You never “deserve” to be in elected office. You are the caretaker of a very special part of Democracy.
Q. Out of curiosity, in all your years living in Florida, have you ever met a native Floridian?
Yep, but I noticed most of them are either very young or very old.
Q. What blogs, if any, do you read? (say you only read IMAO)
Besides the obvious local fav, I get a lot from “The American Thinker”
Q. In closing, do you have a message for our nation’s youth?
Set your dreams high and your values even higher.
Thanks for the interview.
You are welcome!

Because I Love My Readers

Despite sickness, special post coming up soon.
While waiting, guess what it is!

I Feel Like the Per Capita Income of Uruguay

Not particularly good.
I’m home sick, so no teh funny from me today. Hopefully the other IMAO bloggers will fill in (heh, “cracker barrel”). You can also cheer me up by buying quality IMAO merchandise.
Be good, ronin (but not too good).

Today’s Simpsons Trivia

(Introduction)


1) What is Agnes Skinner’s nickname for Seymour?
2) When Bart goes to France, what is the name of the mule on the farm where he stays?
3) According to Homer, why did he have his name engraved in a bowling ball he bought for Marge?
4) In “The Grapes of Wrath”, Bart is happy to find what while cleaning his room?
Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.