Despite many advances in race relations (even I no longer think all Mexicans are lazy), there is still a long way to go until everyone of every race are treated as equals. So, how can we begin down that path of true racial equality? I think the answer is quite obvious: A bloody religious war.
Religion is a great reason for war, as its something people feel strongly about that isn’t associated with just a particular race. And what religion to war against? Obviously, the Muslims… or, to get into the spirit, our “dreaded Muslim enemy” (or maybe “Moslem enemy” if that spelling looks more threatening). Those Moslems would be more than happy to have a religious war, so we shouldn’t feel like we’re inconveniencing them to put them in one. To get started, we just have to learn to hate all the Moslems proper, or, should I say, hate, the vile Moslems who thirst constantly for our blood (yeah, I’m liking the “Moslem” spelling).
You’re probably worrying about the death and destruction, but, remember: To make an omelet, you have to break a few eggs. Similarly, to end racial strife, we need an extremely bloody war in which millions will be killed. But focusing on the death is missing the point. In a war between Moslems and those who don’t follow the evil Mohammed (or maybe “Muhammad” because I think that’s more foreign-looking), who would make up the group out to destroy the blight of Islam? Why, all races, of course, as non-Moslems are of all races and most nationalities. Think of the beauty of it all when this war gets going: We’ll have the white man, the black man, the china man, and the wetbacks all fighting side by side against the dreaded Moslem enemy.
As for the Moslems we’ll slaughter, it will be a diverse group as well. Dying by our figurative sword (it will actually be assault rifles and bombs) will be Arabs, Asians, blacks, and even the occasional whitey. Everyone loves to kill whitey. Since the evil Muhammad invited all to join with him and Satan, we’ll have a pretty racially diverse enemy. Admittedly, it’s not quite as diverse as those who don’t follow the false prophet, but I think it’s a good enough group to slaughter for the purposes of racial healing.
Nothing brings people together like fighting for a common cause, and what better cause to unite all races of people together than ending the scourge of those vile, sub-human Moslems with their evil, scheming eyes? While people have held many different beliefs throughout the years, the one thing we all have in common is not being Moslem – except for those who are Moslem, and, together, we will fight them to the death. And recognizing our similarities as we send the dreaded Moslems to join Muhammad in hell will make us a people who can stand together whatever other differences we have. Now, some of you may say you’d be against a worldwide religious war because it’s senseless slaughter in which millions of innocent people would die, but maybe you should look into your heart and realize the reason you’re against slaughtering Moslems is because you hate black people.
Frank J. is a syndicated columnist whose columns appear worldwide on IMAO.us. He is also the author of such books as “War: What Isn’t It Good For?” and “Ending Racism Through Sexism”.
Ha . . . moslems. They’re so funny when they hate us like that.
I agree totally. We have to look towards the greater good of wars: getting rid of people we don’t like . . .
. . . I mean, “uniting” us.
Personally, I think mohammedan is much more rude and threatening than “Moslem”, especially if you don’t capitalize. Or maybe musselman.
But that’s just me.
Ok, I’ll buy most of what you say, Frank. However, I must draw the line at joining forces with Homos and democrats–err–or is that just democrats because they are Homos? Anyway, how does one fight an effective war of violence when one is afraid to bend over in the fox hole for fear of being “Mark Foleyed”?
FrankJ I hate to break it to you but this war has already started. The Moslems are already at war with us and have been for a while. On 9/11 it was just a succesful operation from them. The Palestinians were in the streets celebrating. We just haven’t yet united to truly face this enemy.
I have put this idea forward on a couple of Catholic message boards (yes I am Catholic feel free to call me a cultist) That this is an excellent oportunity for Christian Unity. Now all we have to do is get the Pope to declare the “Crusade to end all Crusades” and we will be there.
Meanwhile us red men will sit back and drink our firewater.
Sheet! Son uf beech! The boulevards of the unfaithful will run red with they blood of they infidels! I fargin’ hate your tweested logic FrankJ you infidel peeg dog! Your mother was a serpent and your father a fuller Brush man!
Tommy’s a towelhead but he’s an orthodox Catholic too, and methinks we need another Crusade too. Put those Swiss Guards to work!
“…the one thing we all have in common is not being Moslem – accept for those who are Moslem…”
I don’t know if using horrible grammar is the best first step to defeating the Moslems, Frank J… personally, I’d prefer fire-bombing or sharpshooting over confusing “accept” and “except”.
Oh, shut up. If you’re going to be a little nag, you can’t be in my religious war.
Frank J – It’s the Daylight savings Time hangover… Did you know that Benjamin Franklin invented daylight savings time because he hated black people and because no-one in his time was doing enough to incite religious wars? It’s true.
Damn. I’m getting to like Giovanni more and more. And he’s a Dem. I feel kinship in some ideals with him, yet dirty for liking the style of a Dem.
I think Gio must convert to an independent or a Repub, or I’ll have to bring the sword to him to end this dirty dirty feeling.
I got this email and it seemed to want to start a religious war, but it’s against the ACLU, so I don’t know if you can call it religious when only one side believes in a religion with a God.
Anway, the email said that we should send Xmas cards to the ACLU. That’s pretty darn funny. Make sure the card says Christmas, try to get a baby Jesus in there. Anything that smacks of Christianity will be good.
ACLU
125 Broad Street
18th Floor
New York, NY 10004
Two tons of Christmas cards during December would freeze their operations because they wouldn’t know if any were regular mail
containing contributions.
So spend a stamp and tell the ACLU to leave Christmas alone.
That’s pretty darn funny.
You do know the reason why Moslems have beards is so none of them have chins.
Crusade against the chinless.
Thank you very much Veeshir, even though you are just trying to punk the ACLU. God, er I mean, I know they deserve it. I’ll give ya’ll another clue: Frank is right on this religious war thing. Never should have invented this whole Islam thing. Maybe Al Gore will claim it, the fat twinkie munching twit. oh yeah, God blees you all!
Dead terrorists…. Is there no problem they can’t solve?
Well DesertElephant just because I am a Dem does not mean I am a Liberal (that is something people need understand).
I love my Country MUCH more than a political party. We need to fight this war WIN IT and then we can go back to argue weather government should be big or small.
I know I was being a nag, but you happened to hit one of my big pet peeves, which is confusing homophones.
Besides, at least I see that you fixed it.
But…but Frank, I enjoy being a racist…of course these days, the primary definition of racist means you’ve won every argument you get in with a lefty.
“Mohammedanism” is definitely more effective than “Moslem”. Besides, than you get to quote the oldies but goodies, like just about anything from Hilaire Belloc:
Mohammedanism was a heresy: that is the essential point to grasp before going any further. It began as a heresy, not as a new religion. It was not a pagan contrast with the Church; it was not an alien enemy. It was a perversion of Christian doctrine. It vitality and endurance soon gave it the appearance of a new religion, but those who were contemporary with its rise saw it for what it was not a denial, but an adaptation and a misuse, of the Christian thing. It differed from most (not from all) heresies in this, that it did not rise within the bounds of the Christian Church. The chief heresiarch, Mohammed himself, was not, like most heresiarchs, a man of Catholic birth and doctrine to begin with. He sprang from pagans. But that which he taught was in the main Catholic doctrine, oversimplified. It was the great Catholic world on the frontiers of which he lived, whose influence was all around him and whose territories he had known by travel which inspired his convictions. He came of, and mixed with, the degraded idolaters of the Arabian wilderness, the conquest of which had never seemed worth the Romans’ while.
Unlike Churchill in 1939, we already have the tools we need we’ve just been afraid of using them.
Oh an “jimmy”, unless you make it a habit of bending over in front of men you have nothing to fear but fear itself.
Oops! Sorry, the Belloc post was mine.
Hey I just thought of sumthin’! This gives us the chance to dust off the old rallying cry of Caedite eos! Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius (“Kill them all, for the Lord knows those who are his own”)
Ah the good old days…
Belloc is right. That is the best historical explanation of Islam in a nutshell I’ve heard in a long time.
So John, if I understand your quote of Belloc, a boiled down version for American consumption would be: Islam means boom.
Is that correct?
Well, Frank I think you’ve done it. You have succeeded in moving the political incorrectness goalpost out of the commons, across the gay meadow, through the treacherous undergrowth, and way the hell out into the middle of the feted swamp where all the junk and human waste goes. Little did we know we could end up here when we started this little journey. To imagine we were all once too squeamish to say anything so outlandish without great guilt and disgusting ourselves. Were over that nonsense now, were all a bunch of brutish, crude, offensive, insensitive little pricks. Yes, I think we can thank the rest of the group for helping free each other from the chains of PC bondage. We should all give out utmost thanks to our mentor and leader FrankJ, though.
I like satire, sarcasm, farce, and a bit of the tasteless bad myself. I think there were warning signs back a bit stating “Gratuitous and Offensive, Go No Further”. We just speed through all those warnings without much notice. Personally, I blame Gunga and USSJimmycarter for stealing the signs of warning and using them for target practice. If the race stuff on this site gets any more gratuitous though, I’m looking for the Skinheads and KKKluckers to start showing up over here with compliments.
If the race stuff on this site gets any more gratuitous though, I’m looking for the Skinheads and KKKluckers to start showing up over here with compliments.
What you see here is venting, quite typical in wartime. The fact of the matter is that I seriously doubt many people here want to see Arabs, Muslims, or anyone else killed — particularly indiscriminately. I for one have no problem personally with who or what they worship. It’s not for me and I have…difficulties with some of their customs. That being said, as long as they deem my life and those of my loved ones as having no value than I reserve the right to be as offensive in response as I can muster. Of course not as witty as Frank J, but I get in a shot now and then. For now this is half-hearted talk and let’s pray it remains that way. If they are so stupid as to set off a WMD in this country, they’ll wish they only had the Skinheads and KKK to deal with.
So John, if I understand your quote of Belloc, a boiled down version for American consumption would be: Islam means boom. Is that correct?
Given Belloc’s telling of early Muslim history, I’d say that’s about accurate. From the author’s perspective at least.
“What you see here is venting”
I agree. I’ve been a participant.
I was being a bit tongue in cheek, if you didn’t notice. I do think we need to take pause every once in a while and check where you are. It CAN get pretty brutal in here. I’m not getting on Gunga or USS either, they’re hilarious. I was thinking (Always a dangerous thing). If this was my first visit here, I probably would be a bit taken aback. We’ve been getting off on bit of a tangent for a while, and it does seem to have snowballed on us a bit. Not saying that’s necessarily a bad thing.
Besides,
I always wanted to write a paragraph containing the words “free each other from the chains of PC bondage.”
Neo – I always wanted to write a paragraph that contained “what can’t be explained by Kant can’t be imagined” but I just can’t imagine how to work it in. And how did you find out about the signs? Did Ussjimmy rat me out? He’s been jealous since I knocked down that “Gay Meadow” sign with my Sharps Creedmore .45-100 at 500 yards.
People really need to stop using that saying about the omlette and the eggs; it was first said by Lenin…
Or st least that’s what I read somewhere.
I always assumed it was first said by a cook at a diner.
Lets not commit to war, lets just use the Middle-East as a storage facility.
We have in excess of 8,550,000 tons of WWII munitions that have passed their expiration dates. There are more than 1,000,000 tons of napalm that has begun to leak, and cannot be safely done away with. Deliver them to Tehran, and give them a case of Cuba’s finest. Stand back and watch the fireworks.
So.. when do we start ridding the Earth of muslim scum?
THAT is the bigger question.
“So.. when do we start ridding the Earth of muslim scum?
THAT is the bigger question.”
One turban at a time, my friend!