Since you all turn to IMAO for important news and analysis, I thought it was important that I give you a guide to competitive races in the upcoming election, summarizing the important issues at play in those campaigns. Let’s take a look at some of the Senate races, which, as it is, seem to rotate around the subject of race:
Virginia: In the race between George Allen and James Webb, it will probably come down to who used the n-word in the least times and in the least offensive manner. It’s a known fact that both of them hate black people, so the important thing to voters is to pick the one least likely to openly lynch someone. Also, another issue that’s come up is whether putting a child’s penis in your mouth is sexual or not, but that comes up once every election cycle and I wouldn’t expect the matter to be solved now.
Tennessee: Bob Corker should be able to beat Harold Ford Jr. as long as he can keep reminding the public that Ford is black. As we all know, most Republicans are racists, but it seems that some of those racists are being worn over by Ford’s charm and forget that he’s black. Using a clever stratagem, Coker has used jungle drums to put coded messages in his ads to remind people that Ford is black, snapping his racist base out of their trance so that they shout, “Wait a minute! Ford is black! I hate black people!” Rumor has it Corker will ask for a candidate’s race to be listed on the ballots to help these absent-minded racists.
Maryland: In the race between Michael Steele and Ben Cardin, Republicans face the opposite problem: They need to make an effort to keep their racist base from figuring out that Steele is black. Unfortunately, the Republicans were unable to find a qualified, non-negro to run for Senate, and thus hope was placed on Steele who tried to stick to radio ads so the Marylander Republicans wouldn’t find out his blackness. The cat is out of the bag, though, and so a new strategy is being deployed. In the latest ads, it emphasizes that, while most Republicans would be uncomfortable with Steele walking behind them at night, he’ll still do well in D.C. where other, paler Republicans can keep a watch on him to make sure he doesn’t steal things.
Also, Michael J. Fox has caused trouble for Steele and other Republicans by appearing in ads and using voter sympathy to elect Democrats. The initial Republican response led by Rush Limbaugh was quite idiotic, but now Republicans are in a search for someone even shakier and more pathetic looking than Michael J. Fox to counter those ads as that is the only way to intelligently debate stem cell research.
Have you checked to see if Stephen Hawkings was available for political ads? I don’t think he is as shaky, but he does look alot more pathetic.
The Steele campaign released a new commercial with, of all people, Steele’s sister as the spokesperson. Seems not only is she a doctor she also has MS. Looks like Cardin’s lackys should have done their homework. The ad which was on Malkin’s site (sorry sarah) is Awesome and the story can be found here.
I don’t mind an actor doing the crappie flop on TV to make a point–but when he hasn’t even read the bill! How about having someone with colon cancer come on and shit their pants on live TV? I guess we all did get to see up Katie’s kiester once she pulled her head out–but at least she has it stuck back–way back–up–tight!
LOL @:
“…while most Republicans would be uncomfortable with Steele walking behind them at night, he’ll still do well in D.C. where other, paler Republicans can keep a watch on him to make sure he doesn’t steal things.”
Nobody knows, da trubles Ise seen, Nobody knows save Jesus, Nobody knows, da trubles Ise seen, Glory hallelujah! Howdy crackas, how you be doing? We gots us some nice election races goings on, now daon we? We gots dose two black fellas, Harold Ford who be da good black, and den we gots dat Steele fellow, who mus be a Unca Tom cake eating mother f**cker since he be a publican. Damn house slaves! doncha know ets funny how only dose black pulbicans can be unca toms and house slaves. Jes coincidence I reckon. Well I gotsa be going now. In da immortal woids of Harlod Ford, “Where de white wimmins”?
Perhaps you could come up with a slogan vis-a-vis the one you have for Michelle Malkin:
“I don’t have a problem with Harold Ford, Jr. even though he is, in fact, a man and a minority”
I’m going to dress up as Jim Webb for Halloween…anyone know where I can find a child to take with me to stick my penis in his mouth as we ring the doorbells in the neighborhood?
ussjimmycarter: borrow one from your liberal neighbor’s catholic priest costume. If it’s anything like here in CA, they’ve been beating that one into the ground on Halloween for close to 5 years…
Frank and “crew:”
Valour-IT for 2006 Veteran’s Day is now up for fund collecting thru 11 November.
Donate to support our wounded troops, by providing laptops and voice recognition software!
More details here on the program, which has put 650 laptops in use for this purpose!
Thanks in advance, and a really big in your face Frank style post would be great! You know “Donate or I’ll let my monkeys loose in your garage” type of message.
You know that one day when you run for office all of this tongue in cheek commentary is, sadly, going to come back to bite you in the ass. You do a great satire of those racist lefty wankers.
Hey? I was listening to Rush when that went down and it was not idiotic. That was totally twisted out of context. The video footage was him talking and describing and what he was saying was not bad…anyways that was a hilarous post.