context

If wanted to videotape blowing up a monkey with dynamite for YouTube, what would be the laws in relation to that (i.e., laws on obtaining monkeys and what constitutes animal abuse, laws regulating sales of dynamite and it’s usage)?

Sadly, No!, the liberal supposed humor site that Cadet Happy is dueling with, has had a Wikipedia entry for over a year, but it went up for deletion in the past couple days with all votes so far against it.
I really don’t understand Wikipedia logic. The Sadly, No! article is certainly nicer looking and more informative than IMAO’s strange little blurb (which I ain’t touching since every other time IMAO had a Wikipedia entry, is was put up for deletion within a day), though it lacks any sources – which I guess could be fixed. If Wikipedia isn’t going to explain the history of blog site for us, then who is? Haven’t you ever run into a blog with a decent following and, after scanning the front page, exclaimed, “What the hell is this?” Why can’t Wikipedia answer that question?
I should have a contest to find the most insignificant post on Wikipedia (with more points the longer it is). My favorite so far is the eight pages dedicated to Bumblebee from the Transformers.

Part 1: Iraq
Part 2: Military Reform
Part 3: Troop Benefits
Part 4: Border Security

“The power to tax is the power to destroy.”
Taxes are evil.
Does that even have to be explained? In a perfect world, we’d all fund are own needs, but, because we aren’t perfect, the government takes our money at gunpoint to pay for people who don’t like working. The power to tax should never be wielded arbitrarily. Before taxes are raised to support some new government program, one should ask himself, “Would I also blow up an orphanage for this cause?” because that’s of the same level of morality.
With Democrats in charge, it is inevitable they will want to raise taxes. That is why they are Democrats. If you don’t want to raise taxes, then you aren’t a Democrat. Also, as a Democrat, anytime a tax cut is proposed you are compelled to state that it is “just a tax cut for the rich.”
When the Democrats propose to raise taxes, the Republican response must to beat all the Democrats within an inch of their lives. When police come to arrest the Republicans, they should simply explain that they were acting in self-defense by meeting violence with violence because:
Taxes are a form of violence.
If the Republicans make this point well, then they should be able to avoid conviction for assaulting the Democrats. If not, the world was never made worse by politicians being sent to jail.
When Republicans regain control, they should pass measures that require a super-duper majority to raise taxes since taxes are such a dangerous thing and also require only like five people to pass a tax cut (eight to overturn a veto). This should severely limit federal spending and force the government to only focus on important things such as paying for war and making our enemies suffer.
Be honorable, ronin.

Now that the press seems pretty comfortable showing terrorists propaganda or even making up stories to help in the enemy’s proganda efforts, how much longer until the press cuts the middle man and reporters actually pick up rifles and shoot our troops directly?
I say the troops should start shooting reporters now before that happens.

Now usually I think that all other political parties other than the main two are stupid and gay, and, if you want to change things, then your best bet is to try and take over the direction of one of those two parties, but let’s just entertain the notion for a moment of having to start our own party because the Republicans go all Commie. If we were to start our own party, what would be a good name for it? Most party names are pretty boring. The Democrats and Republicans get their names from types of government, and party names like the Libertarians and the Constitutional Party or the Conservative Party are equally boring. The Green Party just makes me think of sickly people.
So what would be some good names for an awesome political party?
How about:
The Marauders
The Fighting Plutocrats
The Death to All Enemies Party
Team Hellbender
Put your idea for political party names in the comments.

Or you’re dumb.
I just want to second what Lair said about voting for his story in the Podcast Pickle contest. I just listened to his story last night and the technical skill in putting it together is awesome (not to mention the story is good too). Everyone should give it a listen even if you’re too late to vote. Hopefully he can bring that skill to the podcast when we start it back up again. Then we’ll totally blow everyone’s minds and make all other podcasts look like crap.

And the Rose Bowl committee should listen to him.
Boise State (my Joe foo’ the Marine’s alma mater) is undefeated this season and I hear from my father (who has BSU season tickets and a reserved parking spot for tailgate parties) they have a lock on the Fiesta Bowl, but why not give them a shot at the big time? I don’t think any city is more dedicated to a college team than Boise (the Broncos are the closest thing Idaho has to a pro anything). Also, they’re the eternal underdogs (they do too well for too long, a college with more money steals their coach). America loves underdogs.
Yeah, they’ll probably be whupped horrible by Michigan (the Boise players are tiny compared to most of the other ranked teams), but maybe, just maybe, they could manage a win.
Potato power!

Okay, folks, so I haven’t had any funny for a while (possibly every). But it’s all been for a good reason, big project in the works.
Until then, yYou know the drill: Listen here, Register here, and Vote here.
There’s still two hours of voting to go. At of 9AM, I’m ahead by one single razor-thin vote.
Oh, and thanks to those of y’all who wrote me regarding the story. It’s my goal to put that amount of effort and depth into Crappy Bedtime Stories when the IMAO Podcast grinds back up into production.
It wasn’t easy gathering up all those sounds and mixing the living daylights out of the thing, but the blood, sweat, tears, and catpiss all show in the end product.
Until then, I’ll just duck out of the way, work on this big project sure to shake the foundations of Reality itself, and let the others resume the constant torrent of funny you’re used to.

Feldmann installation : Visitors look at a light installation by artist Karl Feldmann projected on Dresden’s Frauenkirche (Church of Our Lady) as part of the festivities to celebrate Dresden’s 800th anniversary. (AFP/DDP/Norbert Millauer)
sound

original

I missed when this story first broke because I was on vacation when it happened, but my understanding is that five police officers fired on three unarmed black youths (not a euphemism for “Muslims” in this case, I think) for some reason or another – but most likely because they were black. Now, police shoot black people all the time for no reason, but what makes this significant is that only two of the officers were white while one was Hispanic and the other two were black themselves (and I think still are). That means we had a number of races united in hating and killing black people for no reason. That to me seems to indicate we’re finally getting past our primitive racist impulses and uniting as one beautiful people.
Still, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton are trying to make this a racial incident because that’s how they make the money. You can call them lots of things, but you can’t call them lazy. They’d squeeze racism out of a stone if they had to. And now we have this new player City Councilmember Charles Barron calling for violence against police officers. I don’t think that’s a wise idea. New York City police officers tend to unload their guns into you even without violent provocation, so who knows what they’ll do if you actually attack them.
My favorite part of this is little Bloomberg condemning the incident based on only knowing how many shots were fired. Bloomberg just has that hard-boiled look to him where you can tell he’s been in countless shootouts and knows exactly how they should play out. The race pimps aren’t satisfied with Bloomberg’s condemnation of the incident, though, but maybe he can placate them better by presenting them a lollipop while dancing and singing a song.
All in all, this seems like a very tragic event surrounded by a big clown show. Anyone who criticizes the cops is chickenhawk, though, unless he himself is willing to put on a uniform and shoot at black people.

Sadly, No! is now trying to set the terms for round two of the photoshop duel. Eh. Hopefully that will turn out interesting.
So what is that site? My understanding is that it’s supposed to be a left-wing humor site but it really seems more like just free-form poetry. I think they do logo clean up, though, which is good because I didn’t know what I was doing when I put the moon behind our logo and now the IMAO letters are pixilated on the edges.
Maybe I should just replace our logo with another ad…
Any ideas for other rounds? Maybe who can do the best representation of what Michael Moore would look like if he were thin (he’s fat).