Well, at least the right party is in charge now to handle this. I know I’ll sleep better knowing the Dems have my back.

Continue reading ‘Whew!’ »

President Bush is going to have a press conference soon. Here’s what I think he should say:

“The era of bipartisanship is over! Now I am the divider, not the uniter!”

That would be cool.
What do you think he should say?

The key to defeating any Senate Democrat in the future — an endorsement by Kos.
Minnesota elected its first Muslim Senator. The Capitol Security team will now have to allow him to wear explosive vests — provided it’s for “religious purposes.”
Arizona approved English as its official language. You can learn all the details by calling their official English Is The Official Arizona Language Hotline. Press 1 for English.
Gay Marriage Bans were approved in several states. So no matter what happened last night with all the gay celebrations, you can be sure that very few of them woke up married.
Jim Webb appears to be the winner in the Virginia senate race. He was so happy that he took his campaign manager, swept him up in his arms, held him upside down, and put his penis in his mouth. This is a tribal ritual signifying love and respect. (Okay, I stole that joke from Ace — but it’s still a good one.)
Democrats do indeed have a solid plan for Iraq: This includes banning guns, more Sunni/Shiite affirmative action, and making the rich Iraqis pay their fair share.
In California, Proposition 87 (the Alternative Fuel By Taxing Big Oil Initiative) went down in flames. Which is good. Burning ballots can be used as an alternative fuel.
The Mark Foley flirting with pages issue had a big impact. Most Americans are against child predators. Unless they can moonwalk.
Overall, I’d have to say we got our comeuppance. Sure, we ate it big time, but look on the bright side: Now Democrats have to do the driving instead of screaming at us from the back seat and constantly whapping us with the map. Get your whapping arms ready, the next two years are going to be an interesting ride.

You’re going to hear a lot about ethics and corruption and oversight of the Bush Administration coming from Nancy Pelosi and her vulture-circle of minions in the coming weeks.
For all their screaming about Tom DeLay, Bob Ney, and other crooks to resign before their indictments and/or convictions, a litmus test for the Democrats on the subject of corruption and criminals in public office will be the outcome of the Louisiana 2 race.
Outgoing Speaker Dennis Hastert did the country no favors by screaming that the FBI had no right to raid William Jefferson’s offices. (Unless, of course, Dennis Hastert has his own freezer full of cash to hide and he orders National Guardsmen to help transport his personal belongings in the aftermath of a disaster. I, on the other hand, thinks he just keeps fetal stem cells in there to snack upon between sessions.)
Jefferson doesn’t just stink of corruption and criminal activity… Jefferson downright reeks of it.
You’d think that Rove would have engineered an October or November surprise against him as an attempt to balance the Ney conviction/resignation, but the game’s over for Rove at this point. It’s now up to the Democrats to take their own medicine and police their own.
If they don’t, well, then they’re no better than the Republicans they’ve been accusing of corruption since… well, the Whigs went away.

Continue reading ‘The big test of the Pelosi Regime’ »

My story “Lincoln, As I Recall…” is currently leading the pack of six candidates in the first bracket in the first round of Pickle Tales at Podcast Pickle.
Voting is open for two more days, and I’d prefer to make it to the next round by breaking the tape instead of coming in second or third.
If you’re a regular listener of the 100 Word Stories Podcast and enjoy the Wacky Adventures of Abraham Lincoln, then you’re going to really like the piece.
If you’re not, well, why the hell aren’t you a regular listener? You really ought to be.
Anyway, thanks for your support. Unless you’re not supporting me, then for all I care you can go to hell.

Continue reading ‘Just because the Republicans lost, it doesn’t mean I have to…’ »

Q: How long before someone at DailyKos looks at the Senate… sees the two I’s i nthe party list… realizes they’re both Jews… screams ISRAEL! and claims there’s a Zionist Conspiracy to take over the government?

Continue reading ‘KosWatch’ »

• If you suck and are in charge, you will be thrown out… even if your replacements also suck. Will Democrats learn this lesson now that they’re in charge? Kinda doubt it.
• Joe Lieberman may end up being the deciding vote in whether the Democrats have a majority, thus making him the powerful sitting Senator. If he doesn’t get too big a head to thank his supporters, he should send a fruit basket to Kos.
• If you don’t know who to vote for, put your write in candidate as “pie.” A vote is never wasted if it’s for pie. Mmm pie.
• Whitler brings up a good quote from Winston Churchill (yes, he’s posted twice in two days; surely it is the end of time): “Americans can always be counted on to do the right thing…after they have exhausted all other possibilities.”
• Gold! Gold I tells ya! Speaker Pelosi! Liberals trying to set an agenda in a time of war! It’s pure comedy gold!
• There a huge noise machine to make Iraq look like a disaster and force us to retreat (i.e., declare we lost). That means we need to make a lot of noise to combat it, and the one who can do that best is the president. I really don’t want to hear much out of him other than that topic and border security.
  Unless he read IMAO and wants to talk about it. He can talk all he wants about that too.
  Ooh! I’ll have to send him a copy of my book when it comes out…
• I really really need coffee this morning.
• I’ve already kicked the cat, but the dog gets to wait until we hear more on the Senate. When I kicked the cat, she gave me this look that said, “I understand.”
  Actually, she gave me her “I never understand anything ever” blank stare. Still, it was fun.
• I think, out of everything, I’m most disappointed in you, my readers. I know I did all that was possible, so somehow you all failed. Bad readers. You should be ashamed.
• No time to be sad and mopey. The Republican Party got what it deserved, and new fun times lay ahead. What crazy things the Democrats will do now? Only Satan knows, but I’m sure it will be hilarious.

I predict three good things will come out of the Dem’s resurgent political power:
1) The troops will FINALLY get the armor that Bush has so far refused to provide for them.
2) Bush will no longer be criticized for not using his veto power enough.
3) After 90 years of progressive taxation, the Democrats will FINALLY figure out how to make the rich pay their fair share.
Anyone else got any predictions?

U.S. Army Capt. Samuel Shepherd calls in the fashion police on two Iraqi soldiers for accessorizing their camo with 70’s-retro-orange rifles.
[Hat tip to CENTCOM for the pic]

I woke up this morning to find that the Republicans had lost control of the House and possibly the Senate. I should care, but, oddly, I do not. I devoted hundreds of hours, and dollars, to do my small part to elect and re-elect George Bush in 2000 and 2004 and help push the G.O.P. agenda, but I could barely muster the enthusiasm to drive three blocks to make my way into the voting both yesterday.
I know the precise moment when my indifference to the G.O.P. crystallized–the date the RINOs prevented the Senate from exercising the “nuclear option” in regard to judicial appointments. For me and many others, that was the key issue in the 2004 election–the one thing they had to get right and were in a position to get right. Yet, oddly, the G.O.Platitudians pushed it aside after one half-hearted attempt.
But my contempt for the G.O.P. has roots deeper than that. Any one remember the Contract with America back in 1994, when the G.O.P swept into power largely on the basis of promises to restore fiscal responsibility? I barely do, and the G.O.Platitudians certainly don’t seem to. Fiscal responsibility? The G.O.P. offers bald, empty platitudes on the subject, and then spends our tax dollars like drunken sailors on shore leave. One of the largest entitlements in history, the prescription drug plan, was brought into being on the watch of the G.O.Platitudians–not the Democrats. Indeed, I suspect that if the House and Senate were in Democratic control when that measure was passed, our President might have dusted off the veto pen that has sat unused in his desk drawer. And don’t even get me started with “line item veto”–anyone remember that issue? The one what would give the President the power to cripple pork barrel spending? The G.O.Platitudians do not.
Also of concern, there is the matter of the Iraq war. Sadly, after the 2004 election, President Bush and the administration returned to the White House and didn’t bother to make any more proactive efforts to explain exactly why our troops continue to be there. I understand that in the first few years we definitely needed a military presence to maintain order, and I strongly supported that. But now four years have passed, and I do not know why we are there. Sure, I know the party platitude–“maintain order” and “stay the course.” But I would like to know, and think I am entitled to know, a little more detail than that. Why aren’t the Iraqis in a position to patrol and maintain order in their own country? I have no idea–if there is a good reason, I would love to hear it. Why are dozens of young Americans being picked off there every month? What are we doing to rectify that situation? Why is it that we continue to send National Guard and Army Reserve members to Iraq–after four years, can’t we train active duty people to do these jobs? I need more than platitudes to stand behind a “stay the course” policy. I place this failure to communicate squarely on President Bush. When President Clinton was in office, it seemed like he was on t.v. every single day saying something I didn’t agree with. Where is President Bush? When I do see him, all I hear is the same stumbling platitudes I have heard 100 times before. Starved of meaningful content, I’m not listening anymore, and it seems that the rest of the “middle” isn’t either.
I recently heard someone say that the G.O.P. stands for and wins on Gays, Guns and God. I think you can throw in border security, a strong military, national security, judicial reform and fiscal responsibility. The national party has done a pathetic job of pushing these issues to the forefront. The independents out there will follow us on most of these issues–if we offer them.
Where is our leadership? Dennis Hastert has done a pretty lousy job in my humble opinion. He has maintained one of the most powerful positions in the world for years, and how many independents out there would recognize him if they saw him. Newt Gingrich is instantly recognizable. I know his face, I know what he stands for, I know he believes what he is saying. Who is Dennis Hastert? What agenda has he pushed? Speaker Hastert may be a brilliant administrator, but I want a leader in that position who can push the G.O.P. agenda. He has not done that, and as guardian of the purse-strings, he has done a pathetic job. Good riddance. I would rather have that nut job Nancy Pelosi out there, defining our agenda by contrast than have a complete vacuum as existed when Hastert was in control. I would rather have the House completely gridlocked, as it almost certainly will be, than have them burning my tax dollars in the furnace of their self-aggrandizement. And border security? Pathetic.
I might argue that the G.O.P. has been “all hat and no cattle” on most of these core issues. However, I’m not even certain there is a hat. I’m not sure they have defined an agenda well enough to warrant the label hypocrite. Hopefully in the coming months, some form of leadership will emerge in the Senate and House, though who that could possibly be I do not know. McCain (who, based on the results last night) will be our next President, certainly isn’t going to push our agenda in any meaningful way. Who knows what alternatives we have in the House. I can name more House members from the late 1990s who were legitimate leaders and captured national attention, than I can name current leaders in the House (or Senate for that matter).
The G.O.Platitududians deserved the spanking they got last night. I seriously wonder if it would have been better if it had been worse. I would rather be aligned with a a consistent, forthright, loyal opposition, than the G.O.Platitudians we have been stuck with for nearly 10 years. If the G.O.Platitudians can’t inspire me, arguably a “party hack,” what hope do they have of inspring the “middle”?

And the milk was spilt,
But shed not a single tear.
Nachos are yummy.