Aw, crap.
I go off an say I don’t give a damn about these weblog awards, and I end up a part of two ensemble casts making the finals?
By the way, after looking through the list and making a few calls, I’ve come to the realization that every finalist has a Jew among the bloggers or podcasters.
That’s right. We control the new media, too.

The Weblog Awards didn’t put links up with the names of nominees, so I went ahead and looked up all our competition in the humor category by myself:
Jon Swift
IMAO
BlameBush!
The Dick List
The Hatemonger’s Quarterly
Curmudgeonly & Skeptical
ScrappleFace
My Brain Hates Me But I Hate It More
Knowledge is Power
Sadly, No!
I checked them all out, and I didn’t laugh once. Maybe I just don’t get what kids find funny these days. Like, when I go out to do yard work, the kids are always throwing stuff at me and laughing which I don’t find funny at all. Maybe that’s what all this is.

I’ve gotten a couple e-mails that some people have been getting “403 Forbidden” errors trying to access IMAO from certain computers. Also, I noticed our traffic has been down. Then again, it is December and we do suck. Still, if you notice IMAO to be inaccessible, please tell me.

We got nominated in the humor category of the Weblog Awards again. I’m not familiar with about half of the blogs in the category; who do you think our biggest competition is?
If we win, I would like a trophy with a bronzed blog on it. I imagine that, if a blog were to be depicted in a statue form, it would be a globular mass with tentacles. Everyone would be like, “What’s that?” and you’d be like, “That’s a blog.” And then everyone would nod knowingly.
Man, I keep having to drink more coffee each day to stay awake and marginally coherent. I think I’ll have to switch to that coffee substitute… whatever it’s called. Sleep, I think. What I’m trying to say is that I’m missing a shoe if anyone has seen it.

From what I understand of the Iraq Study Group’s recommendations, they want us to lose the war in a complex manner. I just don’t think that’s befitting the United States of America. If we’re going to lose a war, let’s outright lose the war and not try and weasel out of it. We should just declare we give up and that obviously the terrorists wanted the win more. Then we get every single American out of Iraq as soon as possible. If an Iraqi asks, “But what will happen to our new government?” we tell him, “Well, that’s up to the winners of this war: the terrorists and the New York Times.”
Either win or lose; don’t try and find a middle ground.

There’s a lot of talk about Senator Obama running for President in 2008, but we all know that’s just talk. Obama will never make it through the Democratic primary because, deep down, Democrats hate black people. Sure, they want black people’s vote each election, but they don’t want to actual take orders from them. Kos and friends have written numerous posts on the problem of uppity Negroes, and I think it’s time that everyone face reality and realize that society hasn’t advanced enough that a black man could actually be elected President by Democrats. In 2008, their nominee is once again going to be a white male… or someone similar such as Hillary Clinton. Suggesting anyone else is just idle chit chat.
He’ll probably be the nominee for vice president, though.

Apparently, cats can get a form of Alzheimers…

CATS can suffer from a feline form of Alzheimer’s disease, Edinburgh scientists revealed today.

A study into ageing cats identified a key protein which can build up in the nerve cells in their brains and cause mental deterioration, similar to that in humans.

The research was carried out by scientists at the University of Edinburgh, as well as universities at St Andrews, Bristol and California.

Dr Danielle Gunn-Moore, of Edinburgh University, said: “We’ve known for a long time that cats develop dementia, but this study tells us that the cat’s neural system is being compromised.”

Here are some of the common signs that your cat has Alzheimers:

• You cat cannot remember its involvement in cheese-for-catnip deals with mice.
• Your cat finds it necessary to retire from its leadership role in the National Ratkilling Association.

I will add more as the day goes by, but feel free to make your own suggestions in the comments.