To match current trends, all IMAO posts will now be followed by a Spanish translation. Thank you for your continued support of this site.
Para emparejar tendencias de la corriente, todos los postes de IMAO ahora serán seguidos por una traducción española. Gracias por su ayuda continuada de este sitio.
Archive of entries posted on 17th May 2007
Thompson/Bolton ’08
Hear John Bolton take on a “superior Brit” BBC interviewer. Near the end, it sounds like Bolton is a moment away from yelling, “‘Stache Strength!” and punching the guy through the wall.
With Apologies to JK Rowling
With the imminent release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, author J.K. Rowling has requested that people refrain from leaking any spoilers.
Sorry, lady, but I need the site traffic.
TOP TEN SPOILERS FOR HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS
10) Harry learns “visio correcto” spell and ditches those stupid Birth Control glasses.
9) Hogwarts Alumnus Day guest of honor – Gandalf!
8) Harry is shamed with a lifetime ban for betting on quidditch.
7) Snape and Hagrid – oh yes they are!
6) Final battle against Voldemort cancelled when Democrats vote to pull funding.
5) It’s all a dream. Harry wakes up in his mother’s basement to discover that he’s just a 35-year-old nerd who nodded off during a game of D&D.
4) Malfoy and the Sorting Hat – oh yes they did!
3) Dumbledore only MOSTLY dead – revived by Miracle Max.
2) Voldemort is the name of Harry’s sled.
and the #1 spoiler for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows…
Movie Madness!
I’ve been tagged by wRitErsbLock with a movie meme. Here are the rules, which I, of course, won’t follow. I don’t like rules.
Pick out ten favorite movies, then look them up at IMDb. In the overview at the top of each movie’s page, there are “Plot Keywords,” usually five of them. (Plus more, if you click the link.) Take the first five, and post them. Then the rest of us get to play movie buff and see if we can guess them.
Ok, people, no cheating and looking up the answers. Play fair. Of course, instead of ten, since ten would take about two minutes for you smartypantses to get, Frank and I went through the movies together and picked out 50 off our DVD shelves (ok, I think we don’t own two on the list, but I reeeeally want #43). Here’s what I want your answer format to look like, because I am nothing if not bossy:
– Name of movie – any other comments you may want to share about the movie. It is, after all, a comments section.
You may choose whether you go through the whole list in one big comment or in separate comments so that no one looks like they answered before you even though you really typed it first but see, your comment was one big comment and no fair, they answered in little teeny comments! Do what you want, peeps. Except curse. No cursing. You know how I am! I’ll post the official answers tomorrow.
Parnoid Itchy-Scratchy Crawly
Ron Paul – He So Crazy!
I first thought Ron Paul might be crazy when I saw him come out of nowhere to win the PJM straw poll months ago (currently he’s not even an option in the PJM poll on my left sidebar because he didn’t make 1% in a Gallup poll). Since I never heard of him, I figured his followers must have been spamming the poll. Since someone would have to be a loon to think spamming an internet poll could translate to actual support, then I figured someone with so many loony followers was probably crazy, attracting loony moths with his flame of crazy.
I was right. In the last GOP debate, he blamed America for 9/11, basically saying our policy should be dictated by the beliefs of Osama bin Laden. Since then, I looked more into Ron Paul and found other crazy beliefs.
MORE CRAZY BELIEFS OF RON PAUL
* The disappointing PS3 debut is our fault because we bombed Nagasaki.
* The unclear fate of Oceanic Flight 815 is a direct result of our occupation of Hawaii.
* The reason the local Chinese restaurant is always messing up his order is because of the actions of Charlton Heston in 55 Days at Peking.
* The reason Taco Bell menu items so much fat is because of our illegal Mexican-American War.
* Edwards’s poor manicure is our fault for going into Vietnam.
Both Sides: Left-Wing Hate on the Internet
In reaction to the death of Jerry Falwell, there has been celebration on the left-wing side of the blogosphere. Similar things have happen when Tony Snow became ill again, with commenters and even posters in the left-wing blogosphere wishing ill will on him and his family. Is the wishing of violence and death upon those they disagree with an anomaly of the left-wing blogosphere or something indicative of a bigger problem with that culture? IMAO is proud to present the opinions of noted right-wing blogger Frank J. and respected left-wing blogger Scary Evil Monkey to give you both sides.
Conservative Bloggers Should Express Sincere Hope That Someone in Markos Zuniga’s Family Will Get Cancer
By Frank J.
I was never a fan of Jerry Falwell, but by reading all the elation on the left-wing blogosphere of his death, I can’t help but think how there was no such celebration when Saddam was hung. Does anyone think they’ll be this happy when Osama bin Laden dies? Absolutely not. They don’t have hate for those who murder the innocent and cut off heads. No, it’s people like Dick Cheney and Tony Snow they reserve such hate for, as the only “enemy” they really hate are people in America who dare have different viewpoints than them or espouse Christianity. Liberal are inhuman scum. Let me repeat that: They are scum of a non-human variety. And, like everything that isn’t human, we are better off when it dies.
In fact, I would argue that it is such a boon to America every time someone on the left-wing blogosphere dies, that it is cause for celebration. Real celebration with a keg of beer and phat tunes. Perhaps just a cheap keg of Coors Light when it’s merely a comment poster or DU troll who dies, but it’s certainly worth pulling out the checkbook and getting a keg of Guinness if a top left-wing blogger dies or gets a horrible, terminal illness. We should all draw strength from the suffering of these nutroots scum, and we should use that strength to party awesome hard.
Remember how Markos Zuniga, the venomous Kos, once said “Screw Them” of contractors brutally murdered by terrorists in Iraq? I think everyone would agree with me on saying that it would be a glorious thing if he would get cancer and die painfully. In fact, it would be great — and I’m sure other right-wing bloggers such as Glenn Reynolds, Michelle Malkin, and Jonah Goldberg would back me up on this — if instead the person getting the cancer were someone in Zuniga’s family that he deeply cared about. How cool would it be to know that Zuniga, whose viewpoints I don’t care for, had to watch someone he cares about die slowly and in an extremely horrible fashion? It would be super cool. Thus, we should all wish death and disease on Zuniga’s family. I’d say we should pray to Jesus for it, but He just texted me saying He doesn’t want any part of this. Obviously, Jesus hasn’t been reading the left-wing blogs if that’s the way He feels.
I Will Eat Jerry Falwell’s Eyes, Turn It Into Poo, and Throw the Poo at You
By Scary Evil Monkey
yess! happee happee day! a nother dum stoopid heelbilly neocon jue is dead! falwell bad dum christin man now ded. my freends at kos an huffy post agree dat we shood all pay proper respect to po dum ded christin heelbilly neocon jue. no how we pay respect to heem?
I EET HIS EYEBALLS! DEN I TURN THE EYEBALLS INTO POO AN I THROW THE POO AT U! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
u dum stoopid heelbilly neocon jues weel all soon be like falwell! u weel be ded with no eyes an covered in poo! we at kos and huffy post weel control merica! we keel u all with help of islamo monkey freends! dey hate dum bad christin jues like u but they like us cause dey no wee smart. dey weel join us in eeting ur eyeballs and throwing the poo at u while u run a round wondering wut happening since u no see since ur eyeballs ar now poo. u dum stoopid christin jues hoo want to yell at kos and hurt islamo monkeys deserve nothing better than to be covered in eyes made into poo. and then u die like ur hero falwell. reel problem for merica is not islamo monkeys. reel problem is that u dum stoopid heelbilly neocon jues ar alive and not ded.
now i go vote in kos poll on hoo won gop debate. ron paul only one of u hoo make sense. we agree he best. u all to dum to vote for heem which is why we hope u die like falwell and we eet ur eyes.
PREPARE TO DIE! I CAN ALMOST TASTE UR EYEBALLS NOW! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I hope you enjoyed this debate and hearing both sides of the issue. Please give us feedback so we here at IMAO can serve your needs better.
Daily Fred Thompson Fact
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ALERT! (crossposted from mountaineer musings)
That’s enough of a warning, right? Right.
I swear. Jack thinks he’s god of the island. I want someone else to say something like, “Jack, there’s just one problem with your plan: you’re not Sayid, and he’s the only one who’s been kinda sorta clear-headed about this all season… So… I wanna know what the Iraqi thinks.”
I love how Jack formulated this whole plan without consulting anyone else or even telling them that they should maybe prepare for an attack. What was he worried about? Widespread panic among 40 people? Oh no! The public squares will be flooded as people scramble to eat all the Dharma crackers before Hurley gets to them!
I hope Charlie doesn’t die this episode. I’m kinda starting to like him again. And I hope Locke doesn’t die either, because he finally stopped acting like a weiner last episode, right before he got shot. But I’m less worried about him than I am about Charlie, because Locke has those crazy island healing powers. Save Locke, save the world!
So… this whole “they found the plane” thing… a staging by the Others or what?
Ooh, Juliet, be careful with that dynamite, remember what happened to Ardtz. Isn’t that how his name was spelled? Hey, that anagrams to Dratz. Dratz indeed.
Boy, who ever wants to see a grim look from Desmond in the morning? It’s like the grim reaper waking up and pointing at you and saying, “Yep, it’s you today. Sorry, broothah.”
Methinks Juliet (an Other) knows that Charlie is not a swim champ, since she knows everything about all the passengers. (She’s an Other.)
They’re coming right now?! Juliet, that liar! Oh wait. Not surprised.
Not a very good kiss between the two island kids. But they’re young yet. They’ll learn.
Whoa. Alex’s boyfriend not experienced with guns. Don’t point that thing at people!
You think the grim reaper’s gonna take one for the team? “I’ll get this one, broothah. Here’s my scythe, I’m passing it on to you now. Take good care of it fah me.”
Charlie… uh, dude. Writing down the top five moments in your life is like singing a departure song or being the best singer on American Idol. You’re dooming yourself! Oh, and then he went and told the baby he loved him and got kissed by the hot girl. Doomed! I hope he at least gets a silent countdown clock at the end of the episode.
For you Melbourne, Florida, viewers: Arms stiff-as-a-board at your sides… Hi, I’m David Maus! I love to imitate him. He looks so tense.
Bernard! You can’t say “Nothing’s gonna happen to me” on a J.J. Abrams show! Stupid. He’s dead.
Well, Rose, I suspect you’re the only person who likes Jack lately. Jack’s been acting like a dweeb and a wuss until about this morning.
Yay Sayid! Jack, you go lead the people to the radio tower, doctor dweebface, while I run the military operations. Or I stick bamboo under your fingernails and the fingernails of your new Other girlfriend. Yes. Go. Mmmhmm. That’s what I thought.
Ha, I love Hurley. “Yeah, whatever dude, love you too.” Very rushed, very quiet.
They do LOST specials more often than Hope Brady gets brainwashed by Stefano. And the Tivo description is always “Mysteries of the island are revealed.”
Sorry excuse for a life, Chahhlie? You were a hobbit. What’s better than that?!
So Desmond didn’t see that coming? Chahhlie hitting him in the head with the paddle? Dream about that, Des!
Huh. Ok, I saw pretty much everything in the episode coming except the chicks in the Looking Glass station showing up with guns. I wonder if Des saw them coming.
Who does Jack love next week? Kate or Juliet? Or is it Sun? Rose? And will Locke show up and save the day?
