It’s starting to sound pretty official: Fred Thompson will join the race on July 4th. He also might start taking donations on my birthday, June 4th, which derails my plans to ask you for money that day because who is going to give me money when you could instead give it to Fred Thompson.
Anyway, make sure you have a Fred Thompson Facts t-shirt for when he announces on Independence Day (I’ll get your money yet!).

The results of a new poll was just released, and 62% of Americans don’t strongly believe we should nuke Mecca. Obviously, the belief that most Americans have become anti-Muslim is wrong.

Many people in Venezuela are protesting Hugo Chavez shutting down the most viewed television station in the country. Do not fret, Venezuelans, because it’s crappy opposition programming will be replaced with all new, Hugo-approved shows. One will be the long awaited sitcom Everyone Loves Hugo (Or Gets Shot with Rubber Bullets). You can’t help but laugh every time he says his hilarious catchphrase “It sure smells like sulfur in here!” (and if you don’t laugh, be careful to not get hit in the face with the rubber bullets).
It will show every Tuesday unless they’re a coup.

He’s all they know.

Despite it being about a year and a half away, liberals are already freaking out over the fact that President Bush will be out of office in January 2009. Yesterday, the most commented on diary (over 750 comments at last check) at The Daily Kos was about the possibility that President Bush will refuse to leave office and round everyone up into camps. This is the liberals greatest hope, because, for them, life without Bush is completely unimaginable.
As I detailed some time ago, many liberals now lack a coherent political philosophy and instead have centered all their beliefs around President Bush. When President Bush leaves office, they will no longer know what to think. They will be able to salvage some semblance of their belief system if a Republican is elected, but they will be devastated if a Democrat become President. They probably won’t even know whether to still protest the war, because what would be the point in stopping it now that President Bush is gone? In a life centered around President Bush, there would be no point to that activity whatsoever.
Maybe they will move on to heckling the civilian George Bush, but then they’ll see the political world move on without them. Didn’t the hatred against President Bush have something to do with politics? Liberals are so far gone now they probably can’t remember. Without President Bush, they’ll be like new born babes, having to rebuild a system of thought from scratch while smelling of poo. I’d expect sites like The Daily Kos to actually shut down amidst the confusion as they’ll probably turn on each other like savage animals as they no longer have a single entity to direct their hate against and give purpose to their pathetic lives.
Whatever the result, it will certainly give plenty of fodder to psychologist writing research papers. And if we can ever figure out exactly how a mediocre President could elicit such hatred, perhaps it can be used against our enemies (for any liberals reading this, “enemies” refers to terrorists and not Bush and friends).

The results of a new poll of American Muslims was just released, and a full 74% of them don’t want to stab you in the groin and eat your eyeballs. It can thus be said that Muslims in America have integrated into society much better than many have feared (you don’t want to see the poll results on that for Muslims in Europe, though).