Sad news for the global warming crowd, as US emissions of CO2 have actually dropped 1.3% in 2006, despite having an economy that grew 3.3% during the same year.
Which, I guess, means that Bush has saved the planet.
But what other effects will this have? I predict thusly:
- President Bush scraps plans for emergency Presidential escape rocket to Mars
- Environmentalists stop talking about “climate change” and start talking about “fries with that”.
- Dole company abandons Alaskan pineapple plantation complex.
- Al Gore wept.
- Skyrocketing sales of “I Told You So” T-shirts to climate change deniers.
- “Kyoto” once again only notable for being an anagram of “Tokyo”.
- Powerful computers used to model world climate switched to BitTorrenting pirated MP3’s.
- South American rainforest ecosystems collapse as trees succumb to oxygen poisoning.
- New York Times headline: “Bush Fails to Prevent Global Temperature Stagnation Crisis”.
- Sheryl Crow back to twirling Charmin around her hand like spaghetti on a fork.
As for me, it’s all about the running over hippies with my SUV.
Some things never change.
On the other hand, environmentalists could take this as a sign that businesses are starting to listen to them. It will only encourage them.
Great post Harvey, and very funny also. Hippie slime is the true test of four wheel drive, so be careful out there.
The immediate threat of continental drift still looms over us.
The debate is over and it’s time to act!
Buy my Gravity Offsets(tm)to save the earth!
* Al Gore wept.
OMG you did NOT post that! I’m so glad I was home because mucus-y snorts of laughter are harder to clean up at work due to lack of cleaning materials at my desk…
* Skyrocketing sales of “I Told You So” T-shirts to climate change deniers.
I’ll buy it if I can get a deal of 4 for $20.
You’ve gotta admit, Al Gore’s Assault on Reason has far exceeded global expectations!
Absolutely hilarious, Harvey.
Good thing I wasn’t drinking coffee when I got the the Sheryl Crow part!
Nothing will change.
The Environuts have invested too much time in their efforts to eliminate the human race “for the good of the planet”.
The MSM will ignore the news, just as they ignore anything good that has occurred aver the last seven years, or if forced to face it, they will try to spin it into bad news like they do with the economy. Most Lefties will not even be aware of the change.
Does running over hippies with your SUV require any special accessories? I’m wondering if the stock bumper on my Ford Explosion can handle the repeated hippie-thwackings…
No special equipment, but DO remember to wash your tires afterwards as patchouli oil tends to degrade the rubber.
I am waiting for the headline
“Greenhouse Gas Emissions Down As Result of Global Warming”
Thanks Harvey! That’s good practical advice. Back in the day I nearly had the lining of my nose burned out by a patchouli-dipped hippie who sat about 8 rows away from me…put a whick in his ear and he’d have burned for a month.
I may have to invest in skid plates for my evil SUV… I don’t want that funky patchouli oil all over the under carriage. I wouldn’t want to have my new car smell replaced by liquefied hippy.