Washington (AP) – After John Edwards successfully transformed Ann Coulter’s desire to see him killed by terrorists into a fund-raising bonanza, other Democratic candidates have begun vying for a spot on the conservative columnist’s hit list.
“I don’t understand why Ann hasn’t taken a shot at me, yet,” said former New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson, “I’m Hispanic for cryin’ out loud! Everyone hates Mexicans right now! I’m such an easy target – Fish. Barrel. Bang!”
“So far, “Richardson continued, “I’ve gotten Carlos Mencia to call me a ‘stupid beaner’, but that’s not exactly paying the bills. If I could only push Ann into calling me a ‘dirty spic’ or something, I might actually be a viable candidate.”
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Ohio Representative Dennis Kucinich was equally frustrated, though less hopeful of receiving a caustic Coulter quote.
“I’m really upset about this,” said Kucinich, “This is exactly the sort of inflammatory ad hominem attack that my Fairness Doctrine bill is designed to address. If this became law, then right-wing attack dogs like Ms. Coulter would be required to cast her bilious – yet lucrative – aspersions on all candidates equally.”
“Sadly, though,” lamented Kucinich, “I don’t hold out much hope for a dose of her venom. I mean, how do you insult a straight, white guy? Maybe if I’m lucky, she’ll call me ‘an elf in a bad toupee”.
Illinois Senator Barack Obama, however, was quite optimistic about his chances of laughing all the way to the bank courtesy of one of Coulter’s uncomfortable-silence inducing “jokes”.
“Honestly,” said Obama, “how long do you think it’ll be before that Nazi ankle-biter drops an n-bomb on me? KA-CHING!”
“But even if she doesn’t go that far, I’m fairly confident I’ll score at least a ‘spear chucker’ or ‘jungle bunny’ before the year is out. That woman’s never been one to shy away from calling a spade a spade, if you know what I mean,” chuckled Obama.
Frontrunner Hillary Clinton was abrupt and dismissive on matters Coulter.
“With the combined revenue from my books, Bill’s books, and the occasional cattle futures investment, I really don’t need her help,” Clinton said.
“Besides,” she added, “if I wanted to hear from a blond bitch, I’d just talk to the mirror.”
I’m not partial to spankings…but seeing this picture makes me have a sudden hankerin’ for one! I also would consider a run for office as a RAT if guaranteed THIS on a daily basis to keep “keep it real” as it were…
Ann wishes her mommy bags were that big…
OTH, that is all them demo’s want. “Oh, pls I DESERVE to be punished.. ” Let the Spankin’s begin, I say!
As Shakespeare would day “Anne can see a church by daylight”
You go girl!
“say” it’s hard to type with a 13 month old on your lap.
Really!!!
So harvey… how long did you spend on google finding the “just right” pic to photoshop? =P
Ann Coulter has MUCH bigger tits than that photoshopped fake. And John Edwards would wear a thong.
As the spanking expert here, I doubt Ann’s anorexic little arms can handle that sort of workout for a long period of time. I’d suggest she throw punches instead, but she’d still probably hurt herself. She probably SHOULD just stick with calling people names and let manly men like my Benevolent Overlord Kal El dole out the “real” punishment….but only on deserving concubines ;}
I was in a bit of an anti-Coulter funk the past few months.
Edwards’ latest “outrage” has led me to be disturbingly aroused by Ann.
I need help.
Ann does the work that Republican senators won’t do.
I don’t know about anyone else but the picture on the “Stop Rosie’s Madness” ad is going to give me nightmares for quite some time.
Frank please do something about this. It’s cruel and unusual punishment! Maybe a picture of Ann punching Rose in her big, fat, ignorant mouth, that I could live with.
Keep spanking Edwards, Ann. For every dollar they drop on him, it’s one less dollar for a viable candidate.
I never would have predicted it, but Harvey is actually coming pretty close to FrankJ humor status.
RightWing Duck, Laurence (can’t shut up about being Jewish) Simon, and Spacemonkey (be this the end? I think so!) have pretty much disappeared.
Meanwhile, Harvey is kicking butt and seems to have finally managed to control his libido so he can post about other things.
You rock Harvey! Do be careful lest FrankJ recognize you as the threat you are!
My friends will vouch that I’ve said Coulter is sexy in a femme domme way. X)
Think about it. Ann. Corset. And some funky dominatrix clothing. There should only be good lookin’ Dems, though. Anything with Teddy Kennedy and I’ll lose my lunch. Lyk srsly.
Well, Squiboda is totally getting one of these now.
Oh sure…Squiboda gets down on “bended knee” and plays a little “tonsil hockey” with Harvey and gets a big fat award and the rest of us slubs get squat…
tosses ussjimmycarter a pair of kneepads
Plenty more awards where that one came from 🙂
“Besides,” she added, “if I wanted to hear from a blond bitch, I’d just talk to the mirror.”
How do you manage to actually get into the mind of Hitlary? When I try, all I see is sewage so I quit.
To paraphrase Jack Nicholson in “As Good As It Gets”:
I think of a man… then I take away reason, accountability, and decency.
Someone please tell me that the original photo is not a picture of SarahK and FrankJ.
I am not authorized to either confirm or deny any information regarding the sources of this image.
If I have to become a “Peter Puffer” to get an award I shall go through the remainder of my life empty handed with my non-gayness in-tact!
To quote John Edwards “Thank you, sir! May I please have another?”
“Here at Castle Anthrax, there is but one punishment for setting alight the Rosie-shaped beacon.”