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Controversial documentary filmmaker Michael Moore has found a new cause: Demanding the government pay for cheeseburgers. He argues that cheeseburgers are a right that no one should be denied access to. “CHEESEBURGERS!!!” he added, and then rifled through a dumpster behind a McDonald’s.
Moore plans on making a new film showing numerous horror stories from people denied access to cheeseburgers. He hopes the movie will move people to demand universal cheeseburger coverage from their government. “CHEESEBURGERS!!!” Moore stated while violently shaking a reporter.
Though filming hasn’t even begun, the new project has already garnered criticism. Conservative pundit and noted cheeseburger connoisseur Jonah Goldberg has attacked the idea of the government paying for cheeseburgers, saying, “There’s no such thing as a free cheeseburger. Universal cheeseburger coverage will require a huge increase in taxes. Also, with so many people demanding their ‘free’ cheeseburgers, the government will be forced to ration them and put people on cheeseburger waiting lists. Personally, I’d gladly pay for a cheeseburger today rather than wait for a free one on Tuesday.”
Moore’s supporters are claiming that the Bush Administration is trying to shut down this movie, pointing to an altercation Moore recently had with police. Yesterday, the police were called on Michael Moore after he ran up to a drive-thru window and shouted, “CHEESEBURGERS!!!” frightening the Taco Bell employees inside. Moore then violently tried to claw his way through the tiny window until officers shot him with an elephant tranquilizer gun. “CHEESE… burg… ers…,” was his reported final statement before collapsing to the ground and being dragged away by a backhoe.
Didn’t I see this story in the San Francisco Chronicle yesterday? It was part of the LGBT pride parade coverage, I think.
So how delicious are the French, English, Canadian and Cuban Cheeseburgers?
I’ll volunteer to eat the cheeseburgers illegal aliens won’t eat.
A backhoe?!!! No way! The thing that transports the shuttle to the pad would ahe a hard time moving the density taht is Moore.
I think the giant transporter that moves the shuttle from the VAB building to the pad would be challenged by the density known only as the “Moore”.
I can speak for the English cheeseburgers… bloody awful! But they do often come with a free dose of Mad Cow disease
I wonder if Michael Mooron ever figured out that Taco Bell doesn’t offer cheeseburgers on their menu.
“… Personally, I’d gladly pay for a cheeseburger today rather than wait for a free one on Tuesday.”
Heh. This line had me rolling and choking on my beverage. When news of the universal Cheeseburger Plan was revealed, many cats responded merely by making the interrogative, “I can haz cheezburger?”
[No way we’re also paying for cheeseburgers for cats. -Ed.]
Moore is just a regular guy who wants to make things better for everyone.
I am almost positive he uses every last dime of the profits from his movies for health care for the disadvantaged.
He can’t even afford a new hat or decent clothing. Poor guy.
Does anyone really believe the image this guy is trying to pull off?
According to Rosie O’Donnell, fire can’t cook cheeseburgers.
In fact, never in history has fire ever melted cheese.
Imagine the quality of Government cheeseburgers. I heart cheeseburgers… especially with bacon. I don’t want to have to fill out special forms to get bacon on it. Especially considering the Muslim outrage at the offering of bacon for these cheeseburgers.
I’m glad you didn’t include the part about him ‘beer bonging’ contents from the grease dumpster.
ChrisA, There are levels that even IMAO won’t stoop to. Heh.
Good job Frank. Somewhere, John Belushi is snickering in his grave.
Kitty dun haz cheezburgur… cuz jyint soshulist weezil eated it. ;_;
ZK, UR commintz makez mai dei.
The enamoured and biased media have blindly fallen under Moores spell. They openly participate and contribute to his agenda for self-promotion and miss the bigger story.
Moore’s plot has been to capitalize on public issues in which he has no expertise like health care. What are Moores credentials?
These links offer overlooked information on Michael Moore and Flint back in the 1980’s.
It is just amazing that Moore would turn on Jim Musselman and Ralph Nader who both did so much for him.
http://michaelwestfall.tripod.com/id17.html
http://www.intellectualconservative.com/2007/05/18/the-american-conservative-worker/
http://www.newmediajournal.us/guest/m_westfall/04142007.htm