According to Zogby’s latest.
Maybe I can spare the people of Iowa. We’ll see tomorrow.

I had a very negative thing I was going to write about Mike Huckabee (or, as I like to call him, “Fat @#$%abee”), but I’ve decided it would be immoral and go against the strict blogger code.
I know. You’re probably all saying, “You didn’t write a post! You were too lazy to write a post and now you’re covering it up.” So, because I know you’re not going to let it go, here is the post below that I am refusing to post.

Continue reading ‘What I’m Not Going to Post About the Huckster’ »

The Iowa caucus is tomorrow. Basically the fate of the Republican Party is in the hands of a bunch of inbred corn farmers. Recent studies have shown that the average Iowan has the decision making skills of a four-year-old with a concussion, so I don’t know whose idea it was to give them so much power. Have you tasted corn lately? Its crap. These guys don’t know what they’re doing.
If Iowa screws things up and flocks for the dishonest, TV evangelist hyuk-hyuk-Huckabee, you think its possible for the Republican Party to declare they no longer recognize Iowa as a state? I think we already don’t recognize New Hampshire (at least I have no clue where it is).
Who knows, though. Maybe they’ll do right or maybe they won’t matter, but the primary system seems a bit screwed up. Maybe it’s time for a change. Here’s some new ideas on how to select a Republican presidential candidate.
* Let Bloggers Decide: Were obviously very smart and informed, as we not only take the time to form opinions on important subjects, we also take time to type them out on the internet. The rest of the public may distrust us, though, with how we wear pajamas, drink puppies, and are hugely arrogant, but the rest of the public is stupid and I shouldn’t even be bothered with their opinions.
* Bare-Fisted Brawl: Let’s reduce things to the issue Republicans care about most: Who can kick whose ass. How can you not entrust the country to the one man who alone returns from the decision pit? Similarly, the Democrats can pick their candidate based on a large slap-fight.
* Random Choice: People who actively seek the presidency aren’t the people we really want as president. Instead, can’t we just use some random number generator to pick someone from the lists of registered Republicans? That way maybe we’ll get someone who doesn’t even want the job. And, if you’re worried about getting someone unqualified, all the president has to do is look tough and occasionally bomb stuff (which is why Democrats never work out).
* Have Me Decide: Why put things to chance? Everyone knows I’m the smartest, so just let me decide who should be our candidate. I am smart, honest, trustworthy, and, luckily for lobbyists, I can be influenced by gifts. I’m the perfect system.
* Plot a Military Coup: Why even bother with the stupid election? We Republicans are tougher, so let’s not even field a candidate and take the White House by force in January 2009. What are the Democrats going to do? Whine? How will that be any different from any other period in time? I like this idea best because its direct democracy of the purest form.

“Michael Moore on the Fence”
I could see him on a steel fortified wall, maybe, but I can’t imagine any sort of fence he could be on.
Anyway, I would have thought with the faux-populism, he would have been all over Edwards (there’s another odd visual; he’d probably crush the dainty lad).