The House today overwhelmingly approved the President’s economic stimulus plan. The plan calls for NASA to launch the space shuttle Atlantis, maneuver it into geostationary orbit over the Midwest, and dump $149 billion of taxpayer money into the upper atmosphere. If the plan does not result in a boost to the United States economy, the President has a reserve plan at the ready involving magic beans and fairy dust. The President has also requested, if there is enough spare room on the shuttle to allow it, that the last remaining copies of the Contract with America–particularly those portions dealing with a balanced budget–be tossed into space along with the stimulus cash.

I liked my ideas earlier to make Mitt Romney look tougher, but more needs to be done. I like how he has a one syllable nickname, but he needs something better than “Mitt.” Maybe instead he could be called “Thor.” What do you think?
Everyone chip in and help. This is the best we have to work with, people.

You’ll never see Romney shirtless because his campaign doesn’t want people seeing all the prison tats he has.

I actually do care about the Florida primary and hope Romney wins. I just really don’t like McCain and Huckabee (and have no strong opinion about Giuliani — much like most Florida voters).
I just wish there was some aspect to Romney to get behind other than “acceptable to conservatives.” Liberals seem to hate him, but liberals also hate Bush so liberal hate alone only gets you so far in my book.
What Romney needs is an image change. First thing: Grow a goatee and shave your head. That will make you stand out from the paint by numbers presidential candidates. Next, lose the suit and wear something more appropriate for a member of Hell’s Angels. Thirdly, tame a timber wolf and have it follow you around on the campaign trail. Finally, lose the long winded speeched. Instead, just shout to assembled crowds words like “CRUSH!” and “DESTROY!” (those really are great applause lines). If you feel you must say something more, say, “I am Death! My coming cannot be stopped!”
If Romney can pull that off, I’ll not only vote for him, I’ll donate to his campaign.

The only size left for the Fred Thompson shirt is small. Despite him dropping out, people are still buying the shirt (I saw some guy in Germany by a couple the other day). Anyway, it’s sure to be a collector’s item, so snatch up those last few. Who know; maybe he’ll be the VP candidate and the shirt can be relevant again.
Wait a sec… I don’t even have one of those shirts…

Wouldn’t the State of the Union Address have been better if President Bush just had said this:

“The State of the Union… could be better, could be worse.”
“…”
“I’m heading out for a smoke now.”

Of course, I was expecting President Bush to say he is going to refuse to leave office and finally open those prison camps the Kos Kids found out about. That sort of the announcement might actually get him back in the news cycle despite the contentious primary.
If Hillary win the presidency and set the precedent that being married to the president makes you presidential material, do you think Laura Bush might make a run for it? She’s a much better wife, so I think she’s more qualified.

SarahK says I can’t read Mary Katharine Ham anymore since she has been officially designated “The Worst Person in the World.” SarahK says I can only read the blogs of good people.

Obama takes big risk on driver’s license issue
(01-28) 04:00 PST Washington — Sen. Barack Obama easily won the African American vote in South Carolina, but to woo California Latinos, where he is running 3-to-1 behind rival Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, he is taking a giant risk: spotlighting his support for the red-hot issue of granting driver’s licenses to illegal immigrants.