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What is it with the nitwits in the first primary states? Iowa drooled all over their shiny, evangelical prize and New Hampshire refused to vote for Fred Thompson because didn’t kiss their butts (plus, there’s no way New Hampshire could vote for a candidate the average Republican would like). Still, New Hampshire was a big win for McCain. If he is the nominee, what could be some slogans we could get behind? Here are my ideas:
FRANK IDEAS FOR A JOHN MCCAIN SLOGAN
“He’ll treat terrorists the same way he treats the kids who won’t stay off his lawn!”
“You hate him; he hates you; now lets kick some foreigner ass.”
“He’ll screw over terrorists even more than he screws over Republicans.”
“We could do worse. Not much worse, but worse.”
“Today’s challenges require the leadership of a cranky old bastard.”
“You think he cares what you blog? He didn’t care when the Vietnamese were torturing him.”
“If there’s one issue you need your candidate to be right about, it’s Iraq (which luckily is the only issue McCain is right about).”
“Better than waterboarding!”
Put your own ideas in the comments. Keep in mind, though, that he’s a war hero.
“Yarr! Everyday will be Talk Like a Pirate Day!”
“McCain ’08! Vote for him or else he’ll chew your ear off you rotten conservative!”
“Vote for me and I’ll waterboard Ron Paul.”
“McCain’ 08! We’re gonna stay in Iraq until at least 3058!”
#3
I prefer Fred’s method of bashing Paul with a rolled up Constitution.
“McCain ’08: Ready to hand Hillary Clinton an easy victory”
McCain ’08: Anyone who can survive POW camp and being a US Senator can survive the Presidency. Maybe.
“¡Vote a John McCain en ’08! El Está Muy Bien para Inmigrantes mejicanos Ilegales, Mal Para americanos.”
“I probably won’t even beat Huckabee but at least I’ll crush Fred Thompson, who ran the biggest joke campaign in U.S. political history”
McCain ’08: He vows to cut federal spending on silly earmarks like bridges to nowhere and border fences!
“If I can get Fred to tell me what to say and do, why i’ll be a good president. Come on guys.”
McCain ’08: The comeback grandpa!
[LOL! -Ed.]
You’re forgetting about Ron Paul, but that’s OK. So does everyone else.
No way dude! Foreigner rules!! Jukebox Hero is the greatest song EVER!
McCain. The Vietnam War isn’t over until HE says it’s over.
McCain ’08. Ready to Lead Since the Earth Cooled.
El John McCain’O, El Mucho Z Visas For Me’o
John McCain: Manchuria’s candidate of choice.
McCain ’08: He’s the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being you’ve ever known in your life.
John McCain: He knows how to pass the time by playing a little solitare.
John McCain – Ready to make the torture he endured in Vietnam look like a day at the beach for all you conservatives…
I’m gonna nuke Iran like I just nuked my depends, aaargh!
McCain ’08: When rubber hoses just aren’t enough.
I love that picture … it’s all ragey. I think Lileks said it best … something to the effect of McCain looks like a guy you could go out and have a drink with, and you’ll be having a great time, right up until the time he smashes a beer bottle and shoves it up in your face over something you said 6 years ago.
McCain. Because these times call for blinding fits of white-hot rage.
McCain ’08: Mi Casa Blanca es Su Casa Blanca, My Friend!
Good shit y’all. Everyones “on” today…
If you want to live in pain, vote for crazy John McCain!
Like a free trip to Aztlan? Then McCain is your Juan!
Global Warming? Keating Five? Keep the comeback dream alive!
He’s Steve Martin’s long lost twin…help this nut, he wants to win!
“McCain ’08: Iraq is so important let’s make it the 51st state. Iraq to infinity and beyond!”
“McCain ’08: Turning Iraq into a paradise while the U.S. crumbles”
“McCain ’08: I’ll raise taxes fifty times if i have to. Whatever it takes to make Iraq a beautiful paradise! God bless Iraq. Oops, I mean America!”
“McCain ’08: Iraq freaking rules. Fuk America. I’m bat shit crazy just like Fred Thompson and Rush Limbaugh!!! Vote for Me!”
McCain – Cause conservatives are Nappy Headed Hoes!
McCain 08: If you can only vote for one old white guy this year, vote for this one.
McCain 08: Cause Kennedy and Feingold says he’s a nice guy!
“Victor Charlie taught me how to handle lobbyist corruption and earmarks in Warshington; every politician and lobbyist will be entitled to two earmarks, and we’ll start by nailing all of the LEFT ones to Punji stakes in the Warshington Circle.”
Maverick2008: Leadership you can trust to tag & bag more terrorists than you can shake a stick at.
It’s not Amnesty, oh no: John McCain has told you so!
He’s Conservative enough. Don’t agree, my friend? Well TOUGH!
McCain ’08 – I Won’t Win This Election But I’ll Be Back in 2012 to Win New Hampshire Again!!!
McCain ’08 – First International Trip as President: Going to the Gates of Hell to Find Osama
McCain ’08: Because the Path to Citizenship Runs Right Through Your Backyard
McCain ’08: Borderz!? We Don’ Need No Steenkeen’ Borderz!
I wonder ho many different names that same troll is going to post with. I mean, if they’re not going to remain cowardly anonymous, at least they should stick to one dumb name.
This whole Ron Roolz and Fred Droolz or McCainIsReagansLuvChild middle school stuff is kinda amusing, but c’mon now trollery… surely you can do better than that… can’t you?
Maybe I’m expecting too much…
Cave Trool may have taken my right eye,..but rest assured, I won’t be watching the boder with the other.
McCain ’08: I Can Has Many Campaign Slogans
McCain: Less masculine than Hillary, but way paler than Obama.
McCain ’08: Hey you kids, stay off my lawn! That’s where I let “undocumented Americans” camp!
McCain ’08: Making the Nation’s Seniors Feel Young in Comparison
I stand by my running joke to all & sundry that I secretly crave a Lieberman vs. McCain general election — that way, all the Democrats will be like “dude, why do you want the election to be between two Republicans?!” and all the Republicans will be like “Sir, I despise the notion of a general election between two Democrats.” Priceless. Then maybe we’ll get a run-off instead of these wacky primaries.
McCain ’08: Slightly less wooden than Bob Dole was much less wooden than Bob Dole is now.
When is the media going to play McCain doing his song “Bomb. Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb Iran” Last yr they were all over it.
When you care enough to vote for the very best…but he was not available–VOTE John McCain.
#39-
That’s BBQ sauce, pal.
I CAN HAZ COMPRMIZ?
Juan McCain – Teddy K’s Pet Republican!
“McCain – The Democrats Choice”
“McCain/Kennedy 08”
“McCain – the new Dirty Old Bastard”
“McCain – Spanish for “Come across the border”
“John McCain – Two Faces for One Vote”
“John McCain/John McCain 08 – cause I can talk out both sides of my face.
I could go on and on for this loser. He wins, Democrats win. We lose.