I liked my ideas earlier to make Mitt Romney look tougher, but more needs to be done. I like how he has a one syllable nickname, but he needs something better than “Mitt.” Maybe instead he could be called “Thor.” What do you think?
Everyone chip in and help. This is the best we have to work with, people.
Fang, baby. FANG.
Flint, Grond, Horst, Ruff, Smoove, Knife, Dent, Pwned, Crunk, Blam or Pow!
They’s all good.
Personally, I like Willard.
BTW, if he’s willing to drop his last name, he should name himself: “RAGNAR, Bringer of War”
I’m thinking Butch. But really anything is better than Mitt.
Reagan was known as “The Great Communicator.” I don’t know if Romney fits that bill but there are some other possibilities:
1. He doesn’t stutter (like many of the other candidates), and his voice is strong and confident, so how about “Godly Mouth” (Zeus) ?
2. And he doesn’t bob his head when he talks (like Fred and Rudy), so how about “He Who’s Head Doesn’t Bob” (Hercules) ?
3. And he’s an accomplished and energetic administrator, so how about, “Mr. President” ?
Romn-a-nator? Yeah . . . inspired. lol
likes #1 XD
Willard Mitt Romney? W.M. – “WhiteMan” Romney! That’ll set him apart from the Democratic candidates.
Spike. Or maybe Frank; that way you can share campaign material.
I sort of toyed with the idea of “Rom-M”, a la rap “artists”, but it really doesn’t work, does it?
MITT = Man, I Torture Terrorists
I think this is more than one syllable, but how about Aries, Castrator of Islamofascists?
Mitt the Knife
Trogdor!
You left off the Burninator, Smitty
In the spirit of Rominator, how about Mormonator?
Mitt the Fist? Might appeal to gay voters…
He could try: “Mitt the Wit” (only then he’ll have to come up with witty sayings all the time.)
Or, just a new slogan: “Mitt’s got grit and he won’t quit!” (Pretty vanilla, but that’s Mitt!)
Or, he could announce that he’s already chosen a dream-team for his administration.
Vice President: Fred Thompson
Secretary of State: John Bolton
Attorney General: Rudy Giuliani
Secretary of Defense: Juan McCain (the one area where he remains Conservative)
Homeland Security: Duncan Hunter or Tom Tancredo
(The ONLY reason Fred is not at the top is because he is out of the race by his own choice.)
Who wouldn’t want that administration??
I can’t claim originality here, but I’ve always been fond of Stormin’ Mormon.
Well, since it’s not being used in the race anymore, how about “Fred?”
Scratch Juan McCain off your list, Devil_Dog, and that would be a good team. Move Hunter to Sec. Def. Let Rudy pick H.S. This all leaves Romney to deal with a Democrat Congress – something he will excell in.
Mitt “The Shank” Romney. Shank…it has a gritty 70’s tv cop show feel about it.
Mitt the Merciless.
Can you imagine him addressing congress with Fred Thompson, his 2 x4 wielding enforcer, by his side?
Oh, and Ron Paul as Sec. Treas. That’ll keep him busy until he croaks.
How about Xenu? That way if he wins, maybe some of those Hollywood actors that keep promising to move out of the country if a Republican wins will actually live up to it. Not because of the Republican win of course, but because they’re scared Mitt will throw their Thetans into a volcano. Or something like that. :o)
Devil_Dog, with that dream team, they’re sure to take the White House, one way or another (Fred has the 2X4, he might as well use it). Then Romney appoints Hillary and Barack as ambassadors to the moon. And that…. is where Frank’s grand plan comes into play.
I went for Romney this morning here in Florida, partly because he’s the the best we’ve got now that Fred has dropped out, and partly, well, mostly because I’m severely pissed at McCain over immigration and they were polling close. If McCain will do an Aztec style public human sacrifice of Luis Hernandez and vow to stop illegal immigration at all costs while holding his still beating heart overhead, I might even vote for him in the general election if he gets the nomination.
I could get behind a Mitt-Fred ticket…
Willard Romney and his running mate Ben
Ben, the two of us need look no more
We both found what we were looking for
With a friend to call my own
Ill never be alone
And you my friend will see
Jimmy: I see your point, but I figure keeping old Juan McCain in the mix will allow all those brave “mavericks” and “straight-talking independents” to save face and give us their vote.
Plus, he would probably be pretty good at it.
Besides, Rudy would probably be good at DHS, but there is still some lingering doubt about his bona fides on illegals. That is definitely not the case with Hunter or Tancredo.
How about “WonderBread”? It doesn’t really inspire fear in the hearts of our enemies but it’s a lot more accurate.
If Mitt were to go full-on Fred and bring a terrorist on stage, rip his spine out, and beat him to death with it, he could go with “Mr. Spiney”. Then, whenever some wimp in Europe complains about America or Americans, we could threaten to “help them get a backbone heh heh heh”.
How ’bout
“Mutt”
“The Mormonator”
“Ragnarom”
I can see the Devil(_Dog) in the details. And I would like to personally nominate that crazy El Nuevo Duque de Albuquerque as Secretary of Demographic Psychology, or somthin’ important.
Bored? Watch tons of RON PAUL VIDEOS!! Sweetness
If Mitt were to go full-on Fred
Mitt wants to do what with Fred? Are you saying they are both gay or something? They could be in the closet. It’s possible? Fred seems more like it tho than Mitt because Fred has the young wife as a possible cover. Mitt’s been devoted to the same girl since college. He has a much truer heart and is a better man than Fred is in that department.
Vote Ron Paul!
Watch tons of RON PAUL VIDEOS!! Sweetness
OH YEAH! I Love me some Ron Paul videos!! My fav ones are where he is blasting everyone at a Fed meeting about how the dollar is going to tank and they are all laughing at him. Years later it happened just like Ron Paul said it would. Ron Paul is psychic!!
How about Romney the Massachusetts Liberal!! OH YEAH!
Dr. Ron Paul, the only hope for real Americans, will be the first to welcome our new alien overlords.
Balls
BB (Brass Balls)
Fred
Reagan
Thatcher
Churchill
McArthur
Patton
Eisenhower
Lee
Grant
Chamberlain
Lincoln
Timrod
Barton
Shaw
Murphy
FRED.
FRED dropped out
This assignment would be so much easier if Mitt actually gave us one single example of toughness that we could build on. Hopefully at the next debate he’ll grab Huck and FcCain behind their heads and clang their faces together like the cymbal-player-geek in your high school band. That would really help our creativity.
We’ll never be able to replace Fred. If we must settle for mediocrity…I just don’t know what would be best to do.
I was thinking of “Catchers Mitt” being baseball sounding, but the more I said it the more it sounded like something from a prison movie.
I got nothin’.
I humbly submit Romnimus Prime. Or Deathninja Explosion.
Fred. Definitely, Fred.
Keep it simple and relevant:
Mo’Man
Appeals to hip, black voters and keeps his Mormon roots while appealing to the ladies as it will make them wonder about what the Mo’ is referring to. And those of us in Missouri might get confused which will yield a few more votes.
Or, he could announce that he’s already chosen a dream-team for his administration.
Vice President: Fred Thompson
Secretary of State: John Bolton
Attorney General: Rudy Giuliani
Secretary of Defense: Juan McCain (the one area where he remains Conservative)
Homeland Security: Duncan Hunter or Tom Tancredo
(The ONLY reason Fred is not at the top is because he is out of the race by his own choice.)
Who wouldn’t want that administration??
#15 – Posted by: Devil_Dog on January 29, 2008 03:51 PM
That what I’ve been saying about Rudy and Fred, dislike for McCain kept me for considering the position but it may work. Tancredo for DHS because Duncan back *uckabee
Cloverwillard
Exit polls: Only one in seven Florida Republicans think the economy is in poor shape. That’s probably good for McCain who is a big stupid when it comes to the economy. McCain wins. McCain-Huckabee here we come. Vote Ron Paul to stop them!
You’re overlooking the fact that the name “Mitt” IS an improvement on his name. If your first name was Willard, you’d go by “Mitt” every chance you got too. Nobody whose name remotely sounds like Willard has ever been elected President. (Millard Filmore wasn’t elected.)
“Mitt” sounds down-home and sportsy.
I hereby strongly suggest [don’t piss me off on this, now] that you cease and desist calling other candidates by my name, or any facsimile thereof, when you know in your heart that y’all are deep doo doo with me out of the race.
These other guys don’t have half the ‘nads it’s gonna take to steer the right course for our nation. Sure, McCain will kill some terrorists, but he loves the liberal limelight too much to do the right thing down the line.
Huckabee – don’t get me started. And Romney, y’all want a one word name for him? Spit.
I hereby strongly suggest [don’t piss me off on this, now] that you cease and desist calling other candidates by my name, or any facsimile thereof, when you know in your heart that y’all are deep doo doo with me out of the race.
Yawn, you are fat wimp. Huckabee’s wife could kick your ass. That woman hunts bears. She would knock you down fast. It’s a fact. And you are fat and out of shape. You are also now a loser in politics.
#49 – Posted by: PaulKnows on January 29, 2008 06:26 PM
Huckabee’s wife might hunt bears, but Fred hunts Elder Things… with his bear hands… at night…
Which gives me an idea, if Romney was to win the coveted Cthulhu endorsment, that would pretty much make him seem pretty tough…
Grit Romney. That should be tough enough.
Puck.
Wow, some great ones! “Mitt the Shank” and “Stormin Mormon” are awesome.
But there’s no question that it has got to be:
“ROM”. Simple, powerful – like read only memory.
Which gives me an idea, if Romney was to win the coveted Cthulhu endorsment
Cthulhu has not left the race and therefore endorses only Cthulhu.
Cthulhu’08 For when you are tired of voting for the LESSER evil.
If he’d be willing to tie a bandana over that perfect coif he could be ROMBO! Sadly, everyone knows he’s just a ROMMA-ROMMA-DING-DONG!
Holy Crap! People love the stupid Maverick and the horrid Romney in Florida! Tho they are luvin the McMadness a little more.
compugor: do you realize that if you added an “e” that you’d be compuGORE! Yikes!
I like ROM as read-only memory. At least ROM has a memory. Gosh, I wish he hadn’t betrayed Reagan’s policies the way he did. You poke the ROM and test it for faults… and there are a few. (Sigh)
Oh, bunker, just jump on the bandana wagon and support this effort to help MITT – Massachusetts Institute of Theoretical Tinkology.
It’s not one syllable, but it does use his part of his current surname… how about
Mithrandir?
or
“There are some who call me… Tim?”
#54 – Posted by: Chthulhu on January 29, 2008 07:37 PM
Come on, you haven’t even gotten 1% of the vote, and I haven’t seen a single campaign commercial from your campaign. We know your just gunning for the a position as the Secretary of Agriculture, get it over with and endorse Romney.
Big Florida win for McCain + Rudy endorsement = McCain wins GOP nomination and Rush “butt boil” Limbaugh has zero influence in politics. What a great day!
#61 – Posted by: RushLimbaughSucks on January 29, 2008 09:04 PM
Yes what a day! We shall kill all the gringos with the help of Senor McCain! VIVA MEXICO! VIVA LA RAZA!
Blaze.
Well, that is that. Mitt was no Fred anyway…
We all need to get behind John now I guess.
Time to learn some spanish, amigos.
Every morning at the mine you could see him arrive
He stood six-foot-six and weighed two-forty-five
Kinda broad at the shoulder and narrow at the hip
Everybody knew you didn’t give no lip to Big John
Big John
Big John
Big Bad John
Big John
STOOPID GRINGOS!!! I laff at yoo stoopid gringos! Sooon we shall reclaim Aztlan! HAHAHAHA!
Viva La Mehico! Juan McCain, America’s first Mexican Presidente
McCain is now unstoppable. He will win and win and win. Then he will pick Huckabee as his running mate. Go McCain-Huckabee!
#69 – Posted by: Unstoppable on January 29, 2008 10:19 PM
YAY AMNESTY! YAY THE BALKANIZATION OF EVERY FACET OF AMERICAN SOCIETY! VIVA AZTLAN! VIVA LA RECONQUISTA!
Does it really matter?
As long as he has an R by his name, most here will vote for him.
Lesser of two evils, blah blah blah.
A Mass. liberal is the savior of the Republican party? Oh well, the previous 40 years of being out of power wasn’t so bad, was it?
Nope, McCain is very stoppable. The media love affair will end in a week or two and he will fall from grace as well. To quote Johnny Rotten, “ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated?”
I did #66 too, now I’ll wait for one of McCain’s three AZ supporters to show up at my door and say F.U.
#71 – Posted by: sickofrinos on January 29, 2008 10:24 PM
It makes me so sick. Ugh.
WTF!!!! McCain won Florida and Rudy is going to endorse him tomorrow! We are F’d.
ROM PAUL!!!
OK, sorry. That was just friggin’ ridiculous.
#69
If it does go down as McCain-Huckabee, I’m not sure that I will bother going to vote.
#76 – Posted by: on January 29, 2008 10:59 PM
If that happens I’m going to write in a candidate, I haven’t decided between Fred Thompson, Cthulhu, or Zombie Reagan though.
Cthulhu inhabiting Reagan’s body & having Fred as a running mate. That’s the ticket right there.
M-Rom
Glove, no, Gauntlet!
#78 – Posted by: Alano, El Nuevo Duque de Albuquerque! on January 29, 2008 11:27 PM
I assume you meant Reagan inhabiting Cthulhu’s body, I haven’t read over the Elder God family tree lately, but I’m pretty sure Reagan is far more powerful than Cthulhu… he better be, I’d hate to think I wasted all those sacrificial lambs on a lesser god.
Spacemonkey, Cadet has you in orbit about to hand out cash through the outer atmosphere at 17,500 mph.
In other news, it’s rumored that Guiliani will endorse McCain&Able. I leave it to BUKERBOY to call Rudy on the phone and talk him out if it!
If McCain picks Huckabee, he’s a fool. The base WILL come out to vote against Hillary or Obama. But combining an old fart with a Bible-thumper who thinks Jesus rode a Brontosaurus into Jerusalem is just begging every Independent to vote Democratic.
If he’s determined to pick a conservative, he may as well go with Hunter and try to sew up California…maybe they can even build another few yards of fence…
Mmmm… sacrificial lamb chops… grrrgle grrgle…
If I had Rudy’s phone number he’d be the front-runner right now. McCain’s our guy, people – get used to it…
Shamnesty-Schmuckabee ’08 Meet-up Hayride Fundraiser
Big meet-up hayride this weekend. All the fried squirrel you can eat! Plus some tasty chocolate bear paw if Mrs. Huckabee can catch another bear! Undocumented workers welcome to attend!
Warning: Don’t let Mrs. Huckabee see you throwing out any chicken skin. You eat that delicious skin or she’ll smack you silly.
Music by Mike Huckabee’s band. Hope to see y’all there!
#32 – Posted by: Storm on January 29, 2008 04:57 PM
Ron Paul is psychotic. Fixed it for you.
Really, the next version of the DSM-IV is going to have a whole subsection on Cognitive Disorders titled “Ron Paul Syndrome”
Why all the doom and gloom after Florida? We haven’t even hit Super Tuesday yet. It ain’t over till it’s over.
Living as I do in Indiana, I can (assuming that Evan Bayh is not the Democrap VP) vote for the zombie Reagan, Cththulhu or even the Hilbomination with the firm knowledge that my electoral college votes will go for McCain.
I guess it is too much to ask to get to vote FOR a president rather than against the opponent.
Cthulhu’08 it is
How about Gus? Astronaut Gus Grissom’s Real first name was Virgil. Gus sounds tougher than Mitt anyday. I did like that Stormin’ Mormon one though.
Mitt = Mostly It Takes Tasticles
Can’t spell. PIMF.
Testicles, not tasticles.
That’s just what my girlfriend calls mine.
Ram Romney RAWKS!
Rod Romney ROLLS!
Ram Rod Romney picks up the Edwards vote FTW!
I’d prefer Mitt “Fred For VP and I’ll Resign In February” Romney but it’s a little wordy.
It’s not actually “Mitt” that’s the problem. That sounds like the guy who coaches Little League and will lend you his lawnmower. It’s the “Romney” that’s the problem–sounds like a depressing English marsh, or a banker. Therefore, I propose: Mitt Bloodeagle!
Duke Nukem
scare those towelheads before he even gets teh elected
Keyser Söze.
Wait, Mitt isn’t his actual name? What is it, then, Mitthew?
I blame IMAO for Fred Thompson’s failure to secure the nomination. I’m certain that Fred could not have failed in anything (look at his wife) had he TRIED therefore some other factor must have influenced him. IMAO is the only thing I can think of. I suggest you throw your support behind McCain…
Oh yeah. I said it.