Mitt Romney’s Detroit Economic Club Address
Monday, Jan 14, 2008
Remarks As Delivered
“Thank youz. It’s pimp-tight ta be back here wiff ya’ll. t’s pimp-tight ta be back in Motown. You know, somehow everything just seems right here. In da winter, o’ course, da skies iz cloudy all day. Most o’ da cars ya see on da roads iz made here in da pimp-tight old U-S-of A. Word. People know dat pop iz not youz baby’s daddy, it’s uh soft drink!
“One o’ muh mother f#ckin favorite stories, an’ ya may gots heard dis here cuz dey told it mo’ than once, wuz about muh Pop’s visit ta Mt. Pleasant, Michigan, on da 4th o’ July. He got up an’ spoke ‘bfoe da hood. He said, ‘It sure iz great representin up in dis here da Mt. Clement hood.’ There wuz dis here fruckis in da audience an’ muh mother f#ckin moms leaned forward an’ said, ‘George, it’s Pleasant, Pleasant!’ He said, ‘Yeah, it sure iz pleasant here in Mt. Clement.’ Stupid mo-fo.
“Now I gotsta ta tell ya, if I’m elected as President o’ dis here great land, I will not need uh compass ta tell me where Michigan iz. And I won’t need ta be briefed on what’s going on in da veehicle industry or what’s happening ta Michigan’s economy. You see, I’ve got Michigan in muh mother f#ckin DNA. I’ve goddit in muh mother f#ckin heart an’ I’ve got cars in muh mother f#ckin bloodstream. I be gansta and ready to roll up on dat recessions azz.
“When I wuz living here, representin’ with my homies, Michigan wuz da pride o’ da land an’ really da envy o’ da peeps in da entire world. Detroit wuz da Motor City ta everybody in da world. And perhaps da biggest day o’ da year fo’ me wuz being able ta jet ta da Detroit Auto Show. This wuz really sumfin. My Pops made Ramblers. And we’s wuz escorted from da hotel wiff uh po-po escort, motorcycles, awfully tight, even though we’s was rollin’ dirty.
“But uh lot has changed since then, as you allz know, an’ not all o’ it iz pimp-tight. Unemployment, now ya know deez numbers, unemployment at 7.4% iz in da basement o’ da entire country. A state agency just dis here week forecast dat next year it’s going ta jet ta 8.2% an’ afta dat 8.7% da year afta. Sheet.
“And da queshun iz, what has the Man in Washington done wiff dis here recession, what has whitey done ta he`p? The answer iz not very much at all. Fo’ sho’. I don’ know about da Washington politicians, but I can tell ya this: if I be President, I will not rest until Michigan is stone cold chillin! I be all gangsta up in whitey’s grillz and put a cap up his azz if he don’t mind.
“We’re going to show whitey our pimp hand and gets uh President who will actually take action ta do sumfin about dem. If I’m President o’ dis here country, I will roll up muh mother f#ckin sleeves in da first 100 days I’m in office, an’ I will bring together industry, labor, Congressional an’ state leaders an’ together we’s will develop uh plan ta rebuild America’s automotive leadership. It will be uh plan dat werkz fo’ sho. .
“The pessimist says dat da hundreds o’ thousands o’ jobs dat gots been lost, gots been lost forever. Well, da pessimists iz wrong. The industry an’ all its jobs do not gots ta be lost. And I be one pimp who will werk ta transform da industry an’ save those mother f#ckin’ jobs.
“Now, afta dis here speech, I be going ta do wiff muh boy Tagg, who’s chillin’ right dere, what muh motehr f#ckin Dad did wiff me 50 years ago. We’re going ta jet ta da International Auto Show where I will show him da bomb good time, and git wit some shortys. And da next tyme I visit da Auto Show here in Detroit, I hope it will be as da President o’ da United States. Thank ya so much, and peace out my bruthas!”
The whitest man in America, after Frank:
Mitt’s campaign song:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1384277706451157121
Not to criticize the post, but “Detroit Economic Club” is pretty funny all by itself. Detroit has done quite an impressive job of chasing jobs and people holding jobs out of the city.
I knew he shouldn’t have hired Herbert Kornfeld as his speechwriter.
Okay, I didn’t make it past the fourth paragraph. I have a headache now. Damn you, Cadet…
You have to stop this! Can’t this campaign just be about the issues and not race?
Signed,
Whitebread Cracker
I’m starting to think that Cadet Happy is an idiot…
#1 is right, you need to play the Romney video with the sound off, and play Weird Al’s White & Nerdy with the volume up at the same time.
Hehehe!
Someone should clue Romney in on a couple things. One is the phrase “Who Let the Dogs Out” hasn’t been popular with ANYONE, black or white, for YEARS. The other thing is race pandering should be left to the Democrats. :-p
Romney is such a white cracker. XD
Is it just me . . . or does it sorta seem like Romney stole the people’s parade? They were enjoying their day, then this (freaky) DUDE comes out of nowhere thinking it’s HIS parade.
Think of yourself enjoying your birthday, enjoying the goodies, and Romney spontaneously shows up next you, saying “Hey, this here cake is good. Btw, I’m Mitt Romney and I’m running for Prez.” makes you shake his hand
Do you know what people like? Food. Throw a free dinner.
Politically incorrect question of the day: Is Romney’s Magick Underwear keeping him warm? I only see a dress shirt!
Romney still is freaky in my book. Freaky deaky.
I’m not reading that. It’ll give me tourette’s syndrome.
Time for medication, I read the entire post without any trouble deciphering the very bad ebonics.
Damn, I need a drink, or twenty.
Vote Ron Paul! We need a weak America so Osama can win! Go Osama! Kill us all! Ron Paul welcomes you to kill us all!
S-s-s-sumbitch, dat di-a-tribe done f-f-f*ckt mah neural c-c-circuits, dere jibe sukkah.
…but I be jiggy wit’ et, y-y-y’all
lest anyone think i wrote all that, i simply used the ebonics translator one Romney’s speech at:
http://joel.net/EBONICS/translator.asp
Vote Ron Paul! We need uh weak America so Osama can kill us all! Go Osama! Kill us all! Ron Paul welcomes ya ta kill us all! an dat boil on mah ass.
iz stoopid post by harveee. letz talkz bout Duncan Hunter endorsn Huck the B. waz up wiff dat fellaz? i spin roun n roun in cnfuzion.
Someone should clue Romney in on uh couple things. One iz da phrase “Who Let da Dogs Out” hasn’t been popular wiff ANYONE, black or whitey, fo’ YEARS. The other thin’ iz race pandering should be left ta da Democrats. :-p
Romney iz such uh whitey cracker. XD
Is it just me . . . or do it sorta seem like Romney jacked da peeps’sparade? They wuz enjoying they day, then dis here (freaky) DUDE comes out o’ nowhere thinking it’sHIS parade.
Think o’ yourself enjoying yo’ berfday n’ shit, enjoying da goodies, an’ Romney spontaneously shows up next ya, saying “Hey, dis here here cake iz pimp-tight. Btw, I’m Mitt Romney an’ I’m running fo’ Prez.” makes ya shake his hand
Do ya know what peeps like? Food. Throw uh free dinner. brace yourself foo’!
Vote Ron Paul! We need uh weak America so Osama can kill us all! Go Osama! Kill us all! Ron Paul welcomes ya ta kill us all! an dat boil on mah ass.
an dat boil on mah ass.
iz suxxor postz 2day. pls talx bout Duncan Hunter heart Huck B. cmon. do it nowz!!!
Cadet: thank goodness the black people I know actually speak understandable English. Maybe they need help?
[Commercial]
Hello. I’m Morgan Freeman.
Are you suffering from the uncomfortable feeling of not fitting in social situations, where you can’t understand the difference between “fo’ shnizzle” and your “hizzle”? We’re here to help, at . . .
[Turns to the camera]
Ebonics. Because, if it’s not Ebonics, it’s not black.
When you can say with ease, “dat’s tight”, everything is a’ight.
Call 555-555-5555 for a pamphlet and a bonus DVD on how to engage “the fuzz” with the colorful Ebonics language.
Duncan Hunter supporting Huckabee is a very strange thing indeed. It will probably be enough to give Huck what he needs to take the South.
in the immortal words of Professor D.P. Gumby, “Mah BRAIN -URTS!”
ebonics is a pox on humanity perpetrated by liberal toadies suck-ups. i can’t even read it in fun. not only a moral and grammatical abomination, it’s a comedy anathema.