. . . this is definitely worth a look over the weekend. In short, it’s the fascinating tale of a hero on the front line of law enforcement that has been bravely preventing the sodomization of virgin male teenagers since at least 2001.
Archive of entries posted on February 2008
Iron Man Lives Again!
Note to Terrorists
“What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” is just a slogan; the FBI will still find out what you did there.
McCain Is Old; Don’t Wake Him Up at 3AM
Maybe McCain Is Afraid of Tough Questions
McCain had a conference call with bloggers and I wasn’t invited. I remember Romney did the same thing. I thought Fred Thompson established you’re supposed to invite me to these things. I’m like Helen Thomas: I may be an idiot, but it’s tradition to include me.
White People Are Crazy
Found this through Conservative Grapevine: Stuff White People Like
It’s a blog devoted to listing and explaining stuff that white people like. Useful if you’re trying to understand white people.
Heh
The New York Times has come out with a even dumber attack against McCain questioning whether he can legally be president since he was born on an Air Force base in Panama… even though it’s been settled law since 1790 about what constitutes native citizenship. Anyway, a Hot Air commenter had a great bon mot about that which deserves special feature.
Nader Campaign Slogans
America’s favorite vote-splitter has put a fresh coat of tinfoil on his hat and tossed it into the ring for 2008.
You’ll pardon my insidious Machiavellianism, but I’d really like to see the man do well this time around.
You know what I’m talkin’ about.
So let’s see if we can’t whip him up a killer campaign slogan:
- Skip the blacko, vote the wacko.
- Nader: because corporations selling you cool stuff is the REAL terrorism.
- Six more months of military experience than Bill Clinton.
- Kooky like Ron Paul, but without all that annoying liberty crap.
- Spoilernator III: Rise of the Lunatics
- Because I Can
- Looking 90, acting 12.
- Just a hooded sweatshirt and a stick of dynamite away from being the Unabomber.
- Nader: homonymically synonymous with “rock bottom”.
- FOR working families, AGAINST the corporations that sign their paychecks.
- He won’t start every sentence with “I served in Vietnam”.
- I’m John McCain, and I approved this candidacy.
- Nader: he’s never worked for a living either.
- Like Barack’s really going to miss .3% of the vote.
Come on folks, this is important. Help him out in the comments.
My Solution to Iraq Is to Never Have Gone There
An Editorial by Senator Barack Obama
Iraq continues to be a serious problem, and the Bush administration has done nothing but increase the problem and cause unnecessary deaths. It is a mess, but I have a solution: I would never have gone there.
The Iraq War will be a big problem to inherit, but it would not be if we hadn’t have gone there. That’s why that is my solution. People ask me, “Won’t leaving Iraq now be abandoning the Iraqi people?” Well, it wouldn’t be abandoning them if we hadn’t had gone there. “What about a civil war?” others ask, to which I say there would be no civil war if Saddam were still in charge because we didn’t go to Iraq. As you can see, not having gone to Iraq easily solves all these problems.
“I do have experience: Experience at not going to war.”
As for Al Qaeda in Iraq, I don’t think they would be a problem if we hadn’t had gone. Maybe they already were there and working with some support from Saddam, but I still think not having gone there is a risk worth taking. You may worry about all the terrorists there and whether they have intentions for attacking America, but you wouldn’t if we hadn’t had gone.
Senator John McCain questions whether I have experience enough to deal with Iraq, but the fact is that he’s old. No one faints at his rallies… unless they forgot their heart medication because they’re as old as he is. And I do have experience: Experience at not going to war. That’s why not having gone to Iraq is the perfect solution for me. It’s one I’m uniquely able to espouse and have been consistent on. Years ago I said we shouldn’t invade Iraq, and that is still my solution.
A few have said that not going to Iraq isn’t a solution anymore since we already have gone there. I hear your concern and I have three words for you: Hope. Change. The future.
That’s right: The future. And not just any future; a future where we look forward and say, “We shouldn’t have gone to Iraq.”
Barack Obama is a U.S. Senator from Illinois who enjoys nap time and finger painting. He is running for president.
We’re Almost There
A number of readers have e-mailed me about NASA’s kinetic attack on the moon. I want to assure you I am involved. I’ve been working with the federal government to coordinate both the DoD and NASA to nuke the moon. We first started by having each do independent project — the DoD shooting a satellite in space and NASA with this project — and then they will work together for a tactical nuclear strike against the moon. President Bush really wants this done before he leaves office so his legacy will be “that guy who nuked the moon and was totally awesome.”
Can’t Avoid the Liberal Fascism
Congratulation to Jonah Goldberg for now making number one on the New York Times bestseller list with his book Liberal Fascism. The great thing is now the New York Times will have in it the phrase “Liberal Fascism” in bold.
BTW, I realize I haven’t said anything about the passing of William F. Buckley. I couldn’t think of anything to say without sounding a bit like a poseur. Like all conservatives, I owe a lot to him even if all I directly took from him was to end my responses to hate mail with the phrase “cordially.”
A Little Help?
Regarding this quote over the Obama-in-a-turban flap:
Maggie Williams, campaign manager for Clinton, played down the significance of the picture.
“If Barack Obama’s campaign wants to suggest that a photo of him wearing traditional Somali clothing is divisive, they should be ashamed,” she said. “Hillary Clinton has worn the traditional clothing of countries she has visited and had those photos published widely.”
Apparently the traditional clothing of every country that Hillary has visited consists entirely of pantsuits. I Googled my fingers bloody, and the only non-PIAPS, non-photoshopped pictures I found of Hillary was her pointy-hat-and-cackle shot.
If ANYONE can find a picture of Hillary wearing “traditional clothing of countries she’s visited”, PLEASE leave a link in the comments.
According to Clinton’s flack hack, this should be the easiest task you’ve ever undertaken.
Good for Obama
Obama said he believes the Constitution recognizes and individual right to bear arms which means he at least has basic reading comprehension. While stating this simple fact, though, he still managed to say something stupid.
I’m starting to think this is going to be a fun election.
Did the Democrats Screw Up… Again?
Some polling is showing that people are already realizing that Obama is a twit when it comes to anything serious. I know its not common wisdom, but I think McCain is about the strongest candidate we could put against Obama for the general election. We have a war on, and Obama is a useless indulgence in serious times. When we finally have the two in a debate on foreign affairs, will Obama even be able to challenge McCain on anything? It would be like a freshman trying to lecture the professor.
And, despite the polling to the contrary, I think Hillary would have been a stronger candidate for the Democrats in the end… not that I can be proven right or wrong on that point.
Clinton Camp Claims Smear Over Pointy Hat Photograph
 |
WASHINGTON (AP) – Hillary Clinton’s campaign team yesterday accused Barack Obama’s beleaguered staff of mounting a desperate dirty tricks operation by circulating a picture of her dressed in black and wearing a pointy hat, feeding into false claims of right-wing websites that she is a witch.
Aides for Obama did not deny distributing the picture but claimed it was not designed to be a smear. However, Clinton’s campaign manager, Maggie Williams, described it as “the most shameful, offensive fear-mongering we’ve seen from either party in this election”.
The picture was taken when Clinton visited the set of “The View” and was dressed by the show’s hostesses in the traditional garb of a feminist elder. Internet rumors have long ascribed malevolent supernatural powers to the former First Lady, and many insist that only Clinton’s status as a concubine of the Prince of Darkness could possibly explain President Bush’s brief stint as a newt.
In retaliation, the Clinton campaign has released pictures of Obama dressed as Garth Brooks, in what Obama’s team calls “a sleazy attempt to play on America’s irrational fear of inbred hillbilly country music superstars”.