I thought I’d start a separate thread for possible other names for a “gun free” zone.
My ideas:
“Possible Shooting Spree Zone”
“Easy Target Zone”
“Self-Defense Free Zone” (well, I stole that one from a commenter)
“Sheep Zone”
Put your ideas in the comments, and if they’re really good, I might read them.
Why not go with weapons easier to ban?
“Chainsaw Free Zone”
“Thanatos Device Free Zone” and so forth.
School shooters are frail and weak, and can’t carry ammo. A half gallon of Chain Saw fuel can go a long way.
I’m sure you’ve heard this before.
“Defenseless victim zone”
“Free Gun Zone”
“Plink Zone”
“Gun Spree Area”
“Fish Barrel”
“Stationary target free zone”
Game preserve
Shooting gallery
Criminal-safe zone
Innocent Victim Range
Mass Murderer Sanctuary
Manson University
Not Responsible For Shootings
Shut Up and Duck
Bullet-proof Vests Recommended
Drop, Roll and Die
“What do you mean criminals aren’t paying attention to the law???” zone
“Excess ammunition dumping zone”
“Involuntary blood donor zone”
“Warning: Area may be unsafe due to Democrats meddling with your Second Amendment rights”
DUCK HUNT ZONE
HOGAN’S ALLEY ZONE
WIN A CUPEE DOLL ZONE
T-2000 ONLY ZONE
WILD BUNCH WORKING ZONE
“G-(blood splat) zone”
Constitutional Rights End Here
Defenseless Idiots University
Learn To Die Randomly
“Endangered Human Preserve”
“Rifle Testing Grounds – Unmedicated and Hormonal Welcome”
“In the case of suspicious or criminal activity, please dial campus police. We will do our best to not get there in time to do anything about it.”
If these zones are going to exist, we might as well use them to our advantage. That in mind, here are a few suggestions:
Senators who refuse to fund the troops zone
Michael moore private parking space zone
Seminar on how to bring down the infidels of the west zone
NAMBLA National Headquarters zone
Cant resist the HALO references
-double kill
-tripple kill
-killtacular
-killamanjaro
#13 MJ’s “In the case of suspicious or criminal activity, please dial campus police. We will do our best to not get there in time to do anything about it.”
…modify that to read:
“We will do our best to get there with body bags and media cameras. Thanks.”
This Campus Protected By E-mail Alert
Sheep Pen
“Target Rich Environment Zone”
Or
“Target Rich Zone” for short
“Gun Free (Body Bag) Zone”
“Gun-Free” College Campuses: Making sure you have time to bleed. (Apologies to Jesse Ventura)
Remember the good old days, when lock-downs happened in prisons and insane asylums*, not college campuses and high schools?
*oops, should have said psychiatric hospitals, calling people who blow away other people insane is not PC. My bad. 🙂
Why can’t these crazy people who always shoot themselves last be taught to shoot themselves first?
We could switch the schools from “Gun-Free Zones” to “Shoot Yourself First” zones. Bet it would work just as well, and keep students just as safe.
So very sad that peeps are dead zone.
🙁 :So very sad that peeps are dead zone.
🙁 :<( 🙁 :0(
that’s an emoticon of a sad dying peep with two bullet wounds in his/her chest above in case you were curious
Prey Gathering Zone
Back down the food chain: enter here
T- shirts with targets on them $10
This area protected by firm rebuke.
Red Shirt Zone
Lead Catching Zone
Maybe next to the condom dispensers and the toilet seat protection in the bathrooms they can start installing body bag dispensers to save campus police some time.
In The Event Of A Shooting
This Campus Automatically Locks Down
With You In It.
“I’d Rather be in Iraq” zone
Dick Cheney’s hunting zone
“Yeah! No test today” zone
Threatening To Carry A Gun On This Campus Is A Hate Crime Under Federal Statutes And Will Be Fully Prosecuted Under The Law.
“Victim Rich Environment”
I’m not trying to be insensitive, but can we have a lol2mendmnt for the school faculty and those politburo folks that want to take away the 2nd Amendment today?
Killing Field
“Flee Screaming” Zone
The Morgue
England
In the Student Guide:
222.a: If a shooting occurs in your classroom, remain calm and proceed to the nearest exit with your back turned to the shooter.
Foddercanal.
Fish in a barrel.
Obama ’08 – HOPE for campus security to get here quickly.
By Order of the Fire Marshall, Maximum Occupancy of this Room is 188 Victims.
#19 – Nice FS reference
LEAD POISONING Zone
Don’t forget you Kevlar zone.
This sign may be the last thing you ever see Zone.
In the Campus Security Guide:
“Do Your Part! Numbnuts University encourages the use of e-mail, texting, cell-phones and other forms of communication to help stop acts of violence on campus. And remember: Be Safe! Don’t take the law into your own hands.”
“Don’t shoot me, Bro!” zone
In the College Catalog:
“We’re Sorry. This College does not teach the art of self-defense nor does it condone any acts of violence, defensive or otherwise.”
Ex Post Press Conference Area
Ex Post Media Event
Damn you, “post button” instead of “preview button”. 😉
Press Emergency Parking Only
Post Emergency Parking – Please Proceed Through Metal Detector
Little Falluja
Kumbaya Resort and Trauma Center
Harry Reid Hallway
Hitler’s Happy Place
Begging for mercy area
Criminals and whackos ignore gun free zone laws.
Shock exhibited in institute of higher learning
Go figure zone.
Reminder to Students: Books damaged by random gunfire will not be bought back by the campus bookstore at the end of the term.
What got me dismissed from jury duty once:
Defenseless Victim Zone
The case was a civil suit against a university filed by a victim from an attack in a campus parking garage.
“Speed Holes” Zone
“Ron Paul Foreign Policy” Zone
“Get Your Free Kinetic Energy Infusion Here” Zone
“Additional Ventilation” Zone
Frank. We need a new IMAO t-shirt:
If you can read this…
You are NOT in a Gun-Free Zone.
Frank. We need a new IMAO t-shirt:
If you can read this…
You are NOT in a Gun-Free Zone.
#45 – Posted by: on February 15, 2008 06:04 PM
I’d buy one of those with my own money!!!
I’ll buy two!
Ooh, count me in for a t-shirt!
FrankJ and SarahK Free Zone. Commence to mass killings at your pleasure.
“Spineless-Cowards-Afraid-of-Personal-Responsibility Zone”
or
“Egotistical-Self-Important-Academic-Narcissistic-Know-It-All-Hippie Zone”
Either way, let the punches fly… one way or another, sooner or later, they’ll learn the savage nature of reality… aren’t they all survival of the fittest/evolutionists anyway?
Mid terms in Progress….No test without a vest
Gun Free Zone, Darwin Approved
Gun Crimes Not Tolerated By Defenseless Faculty, Staff and Students
What’s A Matta U:
Brain Free Zone
What’s A Matta U:
Brain Free Zone
<– Liberal Parking
No Conservative Parking On Campus
What me worry zone also know as the Alfred E Neuman safety exclusion zone. I win!
Notice:
Campus Police Only Respond to Shootings AFTER
The Suspect Has Committed Suicide. (By Order of The Univerisity of $hit-For-Brains Board of Regents)
Guns Don’t Kill People, Bullets Do. Do Your Part. Stop A Bullet Today.
Criminals – Please Check Your Weapons At The Main Gate. THANK YOU! (Partnership For A Gun-Free America)
(Ok, that’s it. Gotta wash it all down with something.)
In response to #15, Unreal Tournament is the way to go.
Killing Spree!
Rampage!
Dominating!
Unstoppable!
Godlike!
M-M-M-Monster Kill!
No doubt Frank. The students should be suing these moron schools back to the stone age for disarming them, then not providing protection.
I remember a picture of the VA Tech incident where swat guys were hiding behind freakin trees….
I guess it’s possible these young people still think banning guns is a good idea though.
This stuff hurts the brain.
Hey how about a change of pace… another Islamofacist was killed in a “mysterious explosion” today… hooray for assassination!!!
Is it still an assassination if we don’t claim credit for doing it? I mean, wouldn’t “work related injury” be more realistic?
Odds are, the person screwed up while building a bomb. No surprise there.
This is a non-sequitur, but did anyone else watch Susan Jacoby’s idiotic ramblings on Bill Moyers tonight?
(Yes, I watch PBS at times. Don’t taze me, Bros.)
“please take your meds before you come to school without any guns zone”
Live Fire Zone
Do-It-Yourself Biohazard Area
Oh, forgot one:
Suicide Express Lane – 15 victims or less, please
a target rich environment
The U.N. Zone
Not responsible for splatter stains.
“Europe”.
‘ You’re on Your Own, Zone
#77-
Here you go.
Target Rich Environment
#62 Mike in Austin
#63 Michael R
Very possible. (See Darwin Akbar and Aloha Snackbar for further reference).
Mortuary waiting area–please take a number.
Like several suggestions. But instead of just venting, how about doing something. The t-shirt idea does spread the message a bit but I’m having more evil thoughts.
How about sticker sets, made to be durable and damned hard to remove from a sign. Several vivid blood splatters and one from a rotating set of captions on each sheet. So those of a more direct action bent could make ‘gun free zone’ signs more accurate.
Make em hard enough to remove so that after a try or two they just give up, they ARE pussies afterall.
“Europe”.
#76 – Posted by: Francesco poli on February 16, 2008 09:25 AM
Exactly. Well said. And how many Univeristy shooting have taken place in ‘Europe’ this week?
Hmmm….
Why was that?
This ones a thinker. Hmmmmmmm…..
University, I meant
How are you going to know if they’re bad without reading them?
“Second Amendment-Free Zone”
“Logic-Free Zone”
“Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Simulation Zone”
“Survivor-Free Zone”
Beware Of Campus Police Hiding Behind Trees
In the University Bylaws:
The laws of the City Of _____ and the State of _____ have no jurisdiction on campus. The University will not be held liable for injuries to students caused by acts of God, riots, insurrections, mass shootings or other felonious crimes.
Students Caught Carrying Guns On Campus Will Be Shot
Don’t run, you’ll just die tired.
In the student newspaper:
Attention Students!! The Partnership For A Gun Free America will hold a memorial for the deceased students killed in last weeks shooting in the I.M. Coward Memorial Hall audititorium at 3:30 p.m. on Saturday. NRA members not welcome.
How about “Gun-Free Fool Zone”?
Maybe there’s small print on the bottom of the “gun free zone” sign that has a liitle disclaimer or something…
WARNING:
You are entering a gun-free school zone and you’re gonna frigging die.
But rest assured, when it happens and you lie there bleeding out, brains on the floor, your soul can achieve eternal bliss knowing that our Stalinist principles are worth so much more than your dead ass.
Random signage on campus:
Guns Are BAD. Try Not To Get Shot On Campus. Have A Great Day! (with Happy Face)
(#96’s is more honest.)
In the Faculty Manual:
Neither the faculty nor the students can be trusted with guns on Campus. The very idea of replying-in-kind with immediate retribution against violent crimes is repulsive to real Americans.
Just Remember:
Every Person Who Has Committed Homicides With A Gun On This Campus Has Died Trying.
(fails to mention “by his own hand.”)
Massacre-in-Waiting Zone
I didn’t read all the comments, but maybe we need some “free gun zones” to take care of the “gun free zone” problem…
Oh wow look what I found its Bernie Wards phone number
415-238-7443
Notice: To better serve you, the University of Spineless Campus Police Department is now located off-campus on NE 15th Street at the corner of Liberal Avenue.
This story continues to make me sad. Imagine if your geography professor was trying to hunt you down and kill you? As if research papers and exams aren’t bad enough.
Well Nate, just think about the brilliant rays of sunshine killing all the innocnet bacteria on your keyboard… that should cheer you up.
That’s true. Thanks Troy.
Important Notice:
To improve safey and help prevent violent gun crimes, Uranaus State University has recently installed a campus-wide camera system. All classrooms, meeting rooms, hallways, sidewalks and open areas are now under 24-hour surveillance. Costing over 12 million dollars and paid for by a grant from Homeland Security, the system’s 327 high-resolution camera views are available for public viewing at http://www.uranus.com.
“Zone Of Pathetic Idealism And Utter Denial Of Reality”
“Bullseye Zone”
“Wish I had a gun zone”
“Casket Industry Profit Center”
that’s an emoticon of a sad dying peep with two bullet wounds in his/her chest above in case you were curious
#21 – Posted by: Nate on February 15, 2008 03:40 PM
Hey Nate you’re an (!)
i.e. an ass
Shooter-Safe Zone
Shooter-Friendly Zone
Only Illegal Carry Allowed
Safe Target Area
Student/Faculty Season: OPEN
Violence Free Zone! All Violators Will Be Subjected to Mandatory Counseling!
No Guns For Safety!
Making Targets, Not Threats
Make Headlines, Not Hate
Campus Security: Making You Feel Safe!*
*(NOTE: This guarantee is applicable only to feelings of safety, and does not hold campus administrative officers or Campus Security responsible for any failures to provide safety on campus. Since the Campus Security personnel on this campus are not armed, it is not within their area of responsibility to respond to reports of armed attacks; that is the job of the City Police and SWAT agencies, whose reaction time may vary. In case of non-safe occurrences, please take cover until effective aid arrives. FURTHER: This disclaimer will not form a satisfactory reason for allowing the carrying of guns on campus, licensed or unlicensed. In case of concern over safety, please contact ABC Insurance’s representative on campus to discuss policies covering accidents or violent deaths. Thank you!)
(In case anyone asks, no, this is not a real statement of any college or university that I know of; it’s just a representation of what I consider the standard college/university policy concerning guns on campus. Any claims that the above text is unfair because no college or university uses it as their official policy will be taken as evidence that the claimant has not read the full text of this post.)
French zone.
“Shooting Spree Free Since [Feb 17, 2008]”
“Homicidal Maniacs Must Report to Administration Hall Before Going Postal”
“Seat Belts Are Mandatory, Concealed Carry is Forbidden – You Figure It Out”
“Feeling Down? Want to Shoot Someone, Anyone? Please Call 1-800-UPYOURS”
“We Will Protect You If We Can
Now Hiring”
“Not Responsible For Situations Of Aggravated Armed Assault”
“VICTIM HUNTING PRESERVE”
“This area is proctected by PCHT (Politically Correct Happy Thoughts)”
Body Bag Collection Site
the references to school shootings seem in pretty bad taste no?
i’m a pretty insensitive person but alot of these comments are crossing the line…..especially for those of us who knew one of the victims.
Hey Northern Illinois Republican… we aren’t talking about the victims. Pretty sure if you read through the whole thing you would catch that we’re outraged at students NOT being able to protect themselves… via the school.
Chainsaws are good in close quarters if you can get them started in time, trust me.
There is room to disagree with arming law abiding citizens, that room is called the morgue.
Sorry to be brutal with that. What would this clown have going for him if just one person in that room with a level head caring about his or hers classmates and prof’s (not to mention their own life) would have unloaded a small .38 into him thus disabling him from further carnage?
Answer that one lefty gun hating hippies. Can any gun hating hippy actually say they wished if it could be a do over that at the first shot another person pulled out a gun and dropped the shooter???? Gaurantee they are hiding behind the bushes too.
“The State of Illinois”
School zone, or not, you aren’t allowed to carry a gun in Illinois.
The 48 states that allow people to protect themselves have it all wrong. Illinois politicians know what’s best for us and will protect us from ourselves. I can’t wait until Obama is president, so he can protect the entire clountry from itself.
Free Love and Kiss Your Ass Goodbye Zone