I don’t think bombing a recruiting office in Times Square was a good idea. I know we’ve all thought about it: “I don’t like war. I should bomb a recruiting office.” The problem is, the people at the recruiting office like war, and if you anger them, they may use their war against you. I bet when they catch who did the bombing, they’ll take him out into the middle of Times Square, use a giant slingshot to throw him into the air, and then shoot him with a patriot missile. They’ll then turn to the assembled crowd and say, “If you try to get in the way of our war, we’ll war on you!”
And I bet the last thing going through the mind of the guy flying through the air about to be hit by a patriot missile is “I guess I should have expected this.”
is it really fair to call that a “bombing” — i mean, that’s a pretty candy-ass blast if you ask me — he shattered a couple windows — big deal — a below-average-intelligence teenager could make a pipe bomb 10 times more powerful than that — are they sure that it wasn’t chinese new year or something, and somebody let loose with an errant firecracker?
Actually, I think the last thing that goes through the guy flying in mid-air’s mind is the Patriot missile. 😉
How ’bout after capture, we strap his stupid ass to an interstellar ballistic missile and let him ride it to the moon. Kind of like Slim Pickens in Dr. Strangelove?
It still needs nuked, if I’m not mistaken!
hey, let’s not get too hasty here…maybe he just got the address confused with the Planned Parenthood down the street…it WAS dark. Maybe it was just an honest mistake.
Unfortunately, despite the advances in technology in the modern era we still don’t have enough Patriot missiles to use them for the swatting of flies.
We do, however, have prisons. Unfortunately, these prisons are too full of drug dealers, so there is no room for domestic terrorists.
Luckily, for the next few months, until Senator McCain becomes President McCain, we still have Gitmo.
So I think we should send him to Gitmo.
Swimming.
Oh, if only they would institute this kind of penalty on such jokers! Let the punishment fit the crime.
Just to be sure we hit him, let’s lob a few ICBM’s at him, too. Just in case they miss, they should be targeted where no humans will be injured when they detonate – maybe somewhere like the West Bank.
How about a pingpong ball-sized explosive up his ass while standing in a vacated Times Square? Pay-Per-View with all proceeds to dependents of American service men and women. Then, lots of YouTube.
I need to consult the Secretary of No Buggering on this one, I think. It may be a form of fatal buggerin’.
So I think we should send him to Gitmo.
Swimming.
#5 – Posted by: Snarkrates on March 7, 2008 12:24 PM
Wearing handcuffs
Warning: Conspiracy spoiler ahead…
My gut and frame by frame pixel zooming analysis suggests the cleverly disguised ‘military protest’ was but a ruse. It concealed a darker act of centuries old vengeance – the killing of a witchwhore with a bucket of warm melted goat butter by a Templar street bum.
“What?”, you say. “No proof.” “Are you a crazy freak?!!”.
Hmmm. LOTS of white smoke, black scorch mark, NO pointy shoes left.
You do the math.
{But yes, acts of military protest should be addressed with warring – to include bodily launchings and missile lockings.}
As the Official Secretary of No Buggering…I approve of Jimmy’s suggestion! Any measures to both humiliate and destroy these scum works for me! I also don’t believe our troops should be forced to actually touch one of these cretins so possibly we could rig the device to be loaded by the victim?
Das ist möglich, ussjc. However, the technology in question requires several dry runs by the user to activate the primer before final detonation. And this is what had me concerned.
The “dry runs” part sounds ok by me as long as we get it on film! Or…we could have Hillary assisting in the public executions…given the choice, however, myself I’d stuff those bad boys up my own ass!
Yeah, we could have Hillary reading the instructions to the turd and perhaps have her demonstrate proper methodology. I doubt that she could stand back in time, however; these things have a way of going off quickly. Acceptable risk, however, considering we’d be killing two turds with one stone.
There’s a lot of sand in the Middle East. Expose it to very high temperatures and I think you could turn the whole area into a Glass parking lot. Then we’d have lots of room to park our military equipment.
I approve of the ping-pong ball explosive idea, but given the nature of the perp, I suspect a ping-pong ball sized explosive might get lost up there.
I think you’re all forgetting that this “bomber” (I agree, I’ve seen scarier sparklers), is truly concerned about the welfare of the Iraqi people. So, I say, we send him to Iraq so he can do some up close time with the folks he cares so deeply about. The closer to the Iranian border, the better.