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WASHINGTON (AP) – After being criticized for making Obama “blacker”, Clinton campaign officials fired back by claiming that Obama has been doctoring images of Hillary to make her look blonder while implying that her hair color makes her “too damn stupid to be president”.
Obama spokesperson Kevin Griffis denies any hairism on the part of Obama. “The change in the image from the original to the ad was simply an accident of software and image compression. We did not mean to imply that Hillary keeps a coat hanger in her back seat in case she ever locks her keys in her car. Even though rumors abound.”
Clinton has long maintained that “color should not be an issue in this campaign” and is confident that America is ready for a Flaxen-American president. “While it may be true that there’s white out on my computer screen and that I peel the shells off M&M’s to make chocolate chip cookies, there is no truth to the accusation that I once buried Cheerios in an effort to grow a donut tree.”
since she was pregnant
I thought Chelsea was hatched…
Hillary Clinton’s campaign manager denied reports today that Hillary has been receiving psychotherapy for a recent series of nightmares regarding the campaign. In these dreams, she is repeatedly standing in front of a crowd while talking about her 35 years of experience, saying things like “I’m sure you can see how extensive my experience is.” As she says that, her pants fall down and the crowd always gasps and screams something right out of a Twilight Zone episode, “Oh, no. NO CHANGE.”
Sorry, but with the highlight of her defense plan being to put screen doors on all our submarines, I’m just not convinced.
Jimmy, #2 is cruel. To us, that is. I almost lost my lunch with the image. Thanks a heap.
You’re very welcome, Socrates. For difficulty with lunch, swallow hard.
I wonder why Harvey’s Funnies don’t attract more story attempts? I found this latest Hillaryous. No, really. Makes me wanna to raise donuts in my deck garden with little Hillary ID tags.
While it’s clearly true that Hillary Diane would be a fine phone answerer, there is one transcript of a phone conversation that many may not have seen:
I have to say that I don’t like Hillary, I won’t vote for Hillary, I can’t image that I would ever vote for her. That said it is sad that we have to focus on the color of peoples hair, skin, knickers or no knickers, race, religion and what ever else, just so we don’t focus on the problems that really exist.
I’d vote for the Elephant man or the Bearded Lady if they had a policy that might possibly work, or even the ghost of a plan. I am getting so desperate that I’d vote for someone who had a plan to get a plan or even someone who admitted we need a plan.
Wow !! there sure is a lot of hatred here.
I can tell that there isn’t going to be a lot of joy here on Nov 8th
seanmahair, we can’t focus on the actual problems for long because most of us here would go berserk.
Oh, and Mr. Ryan, “revulsion” would be a better term. Are you here to join the club, or passing through “just sayin?”
Hi, John Ryan (IF that’s your real name).
This site is part of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy. So while it may appear to be filled with unbridled, venomous, seething hatred, that’s only because it’s Thursday and we’re all feeling mellow. Wednesdays are puppy night at the Brethren Hall, so our bloodlust has be sated for now. Come back Sunday morning and we’ll talk. Yes … talk. What can that hurt — a little talk?
Eloquently and politely stated, Socrates. But I wouldn’t have told him about our Sunday morning chats (involving all IMAO Brethren), lest he learn about the Order of RONIN. We need to keep that time a secret. The web is SO invasive nowadays, isn’t it?
#8:
Are you the same John Ryan of “no actual damage” fame from Ace of Spades? You appear to be stupid enough to be the same “person”.
Obamahammed isn’t making Hillary blonder, he’s making her paler. You know how evil whitey is! He’s probably also trying to get you to infer that she’s a secret “ginger”.
One day Hill and Barry were having a nice walk in the woods. They found some tracks, and Hill said “oh look, deer tracks!” Barry said “no, those are coyote tracks.”
“Deer tracks!” “Coyote tracks!” “Deer tracks!” “Coyote tracks!” And as they stood there arguing, a train came along and killed them both.