NOTE: This is an explanation about relationships for liberals. Most others should understand this concept, but you can read it if you feel the need to refresh yourself on these fundamental principles.
I know many of you liberals are reacting to the connection of the racist Wright with Obama by noting controversial figures who were at one point near other candidates. I guess how you’re looking at the situation is that Obama and Wright have been near each other on the three spatial dimensions, so if someone else has been recorded as being near a controversial figure in the known spatial dimensions you see that as exactly the same. What you’re forgetting to factor in, though, is the fourth temporal dimension. When you tag the three spatial dimensions with a temporal dimension and look at the data, you’ll notice a difference. Obama has been near Wright in the three spatial dimensions at many different times over the past twenty years. The examples you people have been bringing up involve usually a single temporal instance of spatial closeness. For two individuals to have what is considered a “relationship,” you should look for many instances of spatial closeness over a large time period.
Using this new knowledge, see if you can understand why if I pass a woman in the hallway I now don’t have as close a relationship to her as my wife of two and half years.
I should note, though, if you find closeness between a candidate and a racist on a fourth spatial dimension, this is notable regardless of the temporal dimension. If a candidate is meeting a racist in a universe beyond human perception, this is something voters should know about.
Silly String Theory.
Given the cute picture to the lower-right of your wife carrying, you’d better make sure she’s clear on this relationship thingy, too!
Well, they could have met on the astral plane, Frank, you know, the one with higher vibrational energies and synchronicity with multi-dimensional beings who have access to an infintite universe with quantum entanglement… Absolutely!
i’m guessing liberals have problems with this concept because they spend all their time in the 5th “special” dimension…
but if any begin to show signs that they just might understand “relationship” as you’ve defined it, you also need to explain that if you occupy the exact same 3 dimensional space with anyone but your spouse (i’m looking at you, governor…) then the amount time no longer matters (even though it was probably measured in minutes and in the single digit range…)
So what you’re saying is that even though I spend my evenings outside someone’s house with binoculors, that doesn’t mean we are having a relationship?
Geez, you’re just like those judges and doctors, out to get me, alla time out to get me.
Frank, I thought about it some more. Your formula is dead-on for establishing a relationship, but it omits a metric for determining the strength of said relationship. Strength is inversely proportional to the root-mean-square spatial distance of the two individuals in question. Example – While it’s true that Bill Richardson has not been close to Obama over a long time period, his lips recently being asymptotically near to Barack’s behind argue for the presence of a very special relationship.
Of all people, innominatus, you should know that the inverse square law only applies to a 3-D universe. What Obama, Wright and Richardson are engaged in is beyond that physics and requires a new political string theory. Such a theory must account for both gravity and quantum physics – and racial politics – by use of identity matricies and Kristofel symbols.
This thread is making my brain hurt. Here’s my best formula.
Obama + Wright x 4 years = Fascism & No America & Quite Possibly Armageddon?
(I failed college algebra the first time, therefore I must stick with elementary equations and NO physics.)
Race relations in this country make me want to shit myself. If John McCain even walked by a church where a white pastor was saying the kinds of things about blacks that this guy was saying about whites, let alone consider him a “close spiritual advisor” for 20+ years, the media would (no pun intended) Crucify him! This Wright is a racist, he hates white people, he hates America because it’s ran by white people…and if I ever saw him on the street, I’d damn sure give him a reason to hate me. This guy gets a pass because he’s black! Thats it, end of discussion. Hey Wright, if you dont like it here, pick up yo shit and head out. I suggest you try Liberia, I hear things are going swimmingly down there. But what do I know, I’m just your typical white person!
Good Lord! Has it been 2 1/2 years of nuptial snugglebunnies already? It seems like just yesterday you were making all those weird “I’m in WUV!” posts.
Congratulations!
She’s still too good for you, though.
Just wanted to add that I was flipping through some old posts from Dec 2004 (hey I was bored). I ran across “Fun Facts About Hospitals” in which Frank tells us these facts…
“Monkeys don’t use hospitals. If a monkey gets sick, its fellow tribe-monkeys turn on him and tear him apart while accusing elephants of causing the disease in the first place.
Much like Democrats.”
I think we should change Demos to Obama/Wright for an up to date reference…
Humm??? So this means that electing Obama won’t bring in the Age of Aquarius. DAMN YOU CHRIS MATHEWS!!!
I don’t get it and I’m worried that I’m getting dumber reading IMAO. Does that mean that this website is a clever ruse used by the Democratic party to make me one of “THEM”?
and requires a new political string theory
This is gonna get me in trouble, but would that ‘string’ need to be shaped in an old-west type ‘knot’ (Kinda like the Iranian-homosexual-danglin’ from the gallows String Theory)???
I don’t know, ussjimmycarter, but do you have your re-education camp ready in Minnesota? You should plan on making two signs: One for Hillary and one for Barack – just in case. It could still go either way. Plus, pictures of Richardson and Wright are good, as are ones of Hillary in Bosnia having a hard time. Don’t bother with McCant, because he refuses to take a stand on anything suitable for re-education. And Fred Thompson is going back to acting so we’re all done with any input from him. I’m jumping ahead and making a list of everything I’m willing and unwilling to give up prior to camp. You should, too.
Hey I love the 5th Dimension. Their music was awesome especially the Age of Aquairus. I don’t think left wingers are hangin’ there.
They might be at the palace of the Queen of De’nile, or busy jumping to conclusions without benefit of facts or lazing around in the land of Oz (which I promise you is not in rural Kansas, but may be found in any large city around the country.) They are still looking for “a brain, a heart, a home, the nerve.” Since they don’t have any idea what these things are used for I seriously doubt they will find them anytime soon. They should stay away as long as they can, we might get something meaningful accomplished!
Sorry just had a thought.
Liberals do have a terrible problem with relationships. For example the relationship between action and consequences.
A+B=C in other words:
If I jump out of a perfectly good airplane A
Without a parachute B
I will most likely die (go splat on the ground) due to gravity C
Liberals think like this:
A+B= what ever I want it to
If I have unprotected sex A
and I get pregnant B
I get to abort the “tissue mass” and go on about my way suffering no consequences at all for my irresponsible behavior.C
Hence the disjunct in the relationship liberals have with cause and effect.
Actually, innominatus, I think the Democrat Party has a candidate that recently invented the new theory. Some strings got pulled and Foster wrote a note; Brown mysteriously tanked along with his aircraft. I’ll wager still others were at the wrong cocktail party but didn’t make the news.
Yeah, Jimmy. Wonder how many hookers got boinked by billyjeff and were never seen again. Also makes me wonder where that stickboy Obama hides his body armor.
seanmahair, I think you’re on to something. But you better be careful or you’ll want to go back to school and study advanced engineering mathematics.
Here’s another form of your new liberal rule:
A(B + C) > AB + AC
That’s read: If A associates with the group comprised of B and C, that is not equal to A associating with B and A associating with C.
E.G., if Obama sits in the church, that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s associating with it’s pastor. He can just say “I didn’t hear it.”
Or something like that. I gotta go back to work programming now.
Note to self: don’t try a “not equals sign” comprised of greater than and less than signs. They’re HTML.
Also Seanmahair don’t forget the rest of that equation. (X+RAlso Seanmahair don’t forget the rest of that equation. (X+R<$)
Aborting tissue mass along the lines of racial genetics is okay as long as a large cash donations are involved.
And dollar signs are also HTML… You think I would have caught on from jimmy’s post, but no..
Ussjimmycarter is a HUGE supporter of both Senator Obama and Senator Clinton and re-education camps shall not be necessary in his case. As for the rest of you Conservative, Blood for Oil, Halliburtan, Bush Lied…People Died, Gore actually won Florida, pricks…I’m sorry but I won’t be able to help you when they come for you….Jimmy there is still time to wimp out and climb on board the liberal train my friend! Power to the people…as Stalin said!!!
The extradimensional closeness of squamous and eldritch Things would explain a lot about the Democratic primary process. Fhtagn!
All my life I’ve felt left out because every other racial, national or religious group in the country used their coincidental membership in that group as an excuse for their antisocial, self-destructive and just plain crazy behavior. Now at last I have an excuse, “Poor typical white people! They can’t help it; they’re bred that way!”. I’m going to milk this for all it’s worth! One thing I’m not clear on yet… If typical white people are bred to fear strangers, does that mean that typical black people aren’t afraid of stangers? For the last three thousand years or so Europe had been invaded, over-run, conquered, looted, torched and crapped on by every barbarian horde with fur hats and a bad attitude. I suppose it’s possible that typical white folks alive today are the decendents of the white folks who got nervous around stangers, especially the ones with large edged weapons, and headed for the woods at the first hint of their approach. If black folks lack this inbred suspicion of strangers… No, on second thought I’m not going to go there. Sorry. I may now have an excuse for my antisocial, self-destructive or just plain crazy behaviour, but my inbred caution tells me not to push it. Love your site.
Either John NovoCain has numbed your brain, ussjc, or Hillary ‘Swampgas’ Clinton gased you with her combined cackles and flatulence, or, maybe you’ve been listening to those Reverand Obama books-out-loud CD’s. Jeepers! What the heck has happened here?!
You gotta get out of that methane-invested swamp of a state before it’s too late! Leave that land of 10,000 liberal swamps. Get out… Get out… Get outta there!! Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go.
I appreciate this site more and more all of the time, especially since my conversion to Obamism.
However, as a new liberal I have come to see the light. It isn’t as seanmahair says, that A+B=C and C is whatever we want it to be. It’s that if A and B cause C, then if we want C we need only provide A or B. It may not always work, but we Hope it does, and we will have tried.
For instance, if we want to cure poverty, then we need to find the cause of poverty, which is, of course, not having enough money. So we must give money to people who don’t have any. Not too much money, because being poor and stupid they would just waste it, but enough to get by until next month.
Likewise, we know that the essence of self-discipline is resisting temptation. So if we want our kids to avoid premarital sex, we must first teach them how to have sex, and then tell them not to do it. How can you tell them not to do it if they don’t know what it is? Actually, it’s not really our place to tell them anything, since they should be free to experiment on their own, in small groups.
Similarly, we know that the only reason the so-called “terrorists” engage in holy wars against us is that they have strong feelings about the bad things we have done, like winning World War I (Ottoman Empire, anyone?) and II (creating that horrid apartheid where the Palestinian nation should be, anyone?).
Well, thanks for your time. I’m looking for another site that’s as much fun as IMAO, but catering to the new liberal me.
Obamism? Obamanism? Obamanist? Cathobama? Obomethodist? Pentacobamalists? Seventh Day Obamantists? Church of Barack Obama of Later Day Honkeys?
Well, I see there have been some major liberal conversions here of late. Heck, not even Ron Paul was able to accomplish that. Obama sure has a strong influence on people. It’s almost magical.
Speaking as a Latter Day Honkie, I know who my Savior is and his name is NOT Barak Osamabama. I may be waiting for the Saviors return but not as some kind of selfish, egotistical, left wing, socialist, lunatic, bigot with truth issues. Jesus is Conservative all the way.
I don’t know, seanmahair, ussjimmycarter and Socrates were men of conviction and stong will and they’ve CHANGED. Keep your guard up. Remember what Churchill said:
Winston Churchill also said “It’s nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash” I think he had the Democratic party in mind…
30 Hillarious ….. “Latter Day Honky”… I want to join the CLDH “Church of the Later day Honkies” and then go missions to enlighten others.
Please expand on the churches doctrine.
Not to worry Jimmy. I grew up in the land of liberal dogma, the socialist republic of Maryland. When I grew up, my spouse and I left the land only to return, except for vacations and only then when forced, once (the longest two years of my adult life). My conservative karma ran over their liberal dogma a long, long time ago. There is no going back.
(my mother in law a life long Democrat has finally see the light and at 70+ years old has switched parties.)
It is never too late to get right.
What if one of the parties is inserting a cigar into the other party’s spacial dimension?
Now that’s just perverted, disgusting and a waste of a good cigar.
Bill Clinton has issues with space anyway. It seems he was constantly invading someone’s personal space, cigar or no cigar. Makes one wonder if he’s been medicated. The bimbo eruptions have tapered off drastically since Monica got her dress splattered.
As far as we know. Could this be a VAST LEFT WING CONSPIRACY?