Although Governor Eliot Spitzer has not been heard from all day, (aides say he’s formulating a plan on fighting crime and corruption in NY), a new candidate has emerged as a potential replacement should he resign.
Wanting to be known only as Candidate 9, Governor Spitzer’s favorite Lady of the Evening proclaims, “I have intimate experience sleeping with the governor. I don’t see how that CAN’T qualify me for this very important office.” Governor Spitzer recently was tied to a very high end prostitution ring.
Speaking to reporters via conference call she emphasized that although she would be doing to the public exactly what she had been doing to the governo,r that she wanted to emphasize her record in making the rich pay their fair share. The conference enthralled reporters. Even though the prepared statement took two minutes to read, she spent 20 minutes talking dirty.
Should Candidate 9 not be elected to office, she is also considering her own perfume series — potentially called Love Potion.
Harvey, you magnificent bastard, you’ve outdone yourself with this one.
Then, if elected, Candidate 9 would not only be New York’s new Governor, but also its first Lady-in-Waiting. Sort of, Ducky.
hope!
CHANGE!
herpes
You know, I think actually having sex with somebody in executive office may make her even more “experienced” than Hillary.
Well!
I was doin’ the math…
Ol’ Spitzer blew (or had blown) $80,000 over 6 years (that the feds know of) on nookie.
At between $1000 and $4000 per ‘nook’, that works out to somewhere between 3 and 13 nooks/year.
SO! Not only does he overpay horribly for some admittedly tangy poon, he’s only knocking off a piece once a quarter to once a month?
He should resign in shame for his budgetary wastage and for causing inflation in the “personal service industry”! …And get a checkup.
And some Wheaties.
Even though the prepared statement took two minutes to read, she spent 20 minutes talking dirty
Well, she’s got MY vote.
Want an idea what an Obama presidency would be like? Keep an eye on Paterson as he hands out state jobs to half of Harlem and only appoints judges who vow to convict as many cops as crooks.
I know most of you probably hate us here in New York, but there ARE good people here, occasionally even me, and we need your prayers, Flyover Country…
Say post #4 that reminds me. Wouldn’t Monica be a better candidate by Hillary’s criteria? I mean she was probably “closer” to the president and spent lots of time in the oval office -even while important business was going on.
Obama might counter Hillarys claim to more experience by putting Monica on the “short list” for VP.
I’m confused. Is this Spitzer’s hooker you are talking about, or is it Hillary Clinton?
I realize this is not going to be appreciated but:
There is an old adage that states we get the leaders we deserve.
I find it fascinating in a culture of hookups, wholesale cheating, AIDs and STDs run amok, pornography as entertainment, voyerism to the extreme and a whole host of other sexually deviant practices being embraced by what seems to be a majority of Americans (nay humans everywhere) that this is even a blip on the radar screen.
No wonder we have the leaders we have.
Apologies to Dr. Duck. My comment should have started “Ducky, you magnificent bastard”. A truly fine post.
Wrong, seanmahair, definitely appreciate your comments. When the “ideal” is to hold on to your adolescence as long as possible, it isn’t so surprising that some do. Especially those who have the cash, the power and the ego to to it. Most of us grow up when we realize that if we don’t, we are going to have to deal with the fallout from our kids’ screwups that result from an unpoliced childhood in this hedonistic culture.