Barack Tells It Like It Is

Barack Obama speaks his mind:

You go into these small towns in Pennsylvania and, like a lot of small towns in the Midwest, the jobs have been gone now for 25 years and nothing’s replaced them…And they fell through the Clinton Administration, and the Bush Administration, and each successive administration has said that somehow these communities are gonna regenerate and they have not.
And it’s not surprising then they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations.

To give you an idea of just how elitist this statement is, he told it to the billionaires that made him come him through the servants entrance.
So people only like religion and guns and criticize illegal immigrations because they’re stupid and jobless? I liked religion and guns and criticized illegal immigration before I was jobless, so there.
As these slip ups show, Barack Obama, much like his wife and preacher, hates America and Americans. The question to ask is whether America is better run by someone who doesn’t despise it? This is something reasonable people can disagree on.
UPDATE:
I was thinking: If clinging to religion and guns and criticizing illegal immigration is what typical white people do when they lose their jobs, what happens when they’re punished with a baby?
UPDATE 2:
Being attacked by both Hillary and McCain, Obama has responded:

“Senator Obama has said many times in this campaign that Americans are understandably upset with their leaders in Washington for saying anything to win elections while failing to stand up to the special interests and fight for an economic agenda that will bring jobs and opportunity back to struggling communities. And if John McCain wants a debate about who’s out of touch with the American people, we can start by talking about the tax breaks for the wealthiest Americans that he once said offended his conscience but now wants to make permanent.”

He then added, “See, all I have to do is get those jobless crackers jealous of people with more money, and they’ll forget everything I said. Stupid honkeys.”

More People Should Be Artistocrats

Thoughts on the pleasure of donating to bloggers.
I have always believed that my thinking is so important that I should just get paid to think and for occasionally sharing those thoughts in a blog post. Hopefully society will be civilized enough to realize this soon.

A Story, Bit by Bit
Hellbender: Chapter 17 – Facade

PREVIOUS
“As civilization moves into its next phase of existence,” Doug read aloud from a pamphlet while seated on the floor, “it is of increasing importance who leads humankind into its next and final evolution. Ironically, being freed from the animinalistic handicap of childbirth and childrearing, women are being further made into second-class citizens despite the empty words of equality. The fact is that all the current leaders including the Transcendents — no matter what forms they take — have integrated primitive masculine instincts into their societies. This has to be stopped now, before these out-dated impulses are imprinted into us for all eternity.”
“Makes sense; I wonder if they have a newsletter I can subscribe to?” Lulu was sitting near Doug with an odd pad over her eyes. Lara gave it to her to help clear up her black eyes. After the train ride (which Doug quite enjoyed as it was actually relaxing), they crossed over the Viathian border to the city of Avaro. There, Lara recommended a hotel — not too expensive not too cheap — where they rented three rooms. They were now meeting in one of them, where Lara shared the information she had on the followers of Elza, including recruitment pamphlets. They seemed hard to track down, as Lara was convinced that Elza’s people were made up of many groups only loosely connected.
“You think they would have taken the cube here?” Charlene asked Lara. She was seated in a chair by the bed and also looking over some of the pamphlets. “I’ve heard more of their attacks on Asmod’s territory lately.”
“Viath’s territories haven’t seen much conflict in a while,” Lara said, “and one pattern I’ve noticed with Elza’s people is they tend to attack wherever things get too peaceful.” She was seated on the bed next to Bryce who was looking on her quite fondly. Doug had never seen Bryce tricked by a woman before, and wasn’t sure how he’d react.
Charlene tossed a pamphlet onto the bed. “How much thought do you think they put into these attacks? Most of them seem just random and poorly planned.”
“My theory is that the mindless terrorism and the arch-feminism is all a front,” Lara answered. “I think they’re up to something big and Elza is taking pains to get people to underestimate them.”
“That’s some commitment to pretending to be incompetent,” Charlene said. “The last two attacks they did on military installation had a lot more deaths on their side.”
Lara shrugged. “Just a theory based on my observations. Of course, Elza claims to know the secret to immortality, so perhaps they have reason not to fear death.”
“Maybe we should just behead Bryce as an offering to join up,” Lulu suggested.
“What about me?” Doug asked.
“No one cares about you.” Lulu took the pad off her face. “Do I still look like a raccoon?”
“Washing off the whiskers might help,” Bryce said.
“But I want to look like a kitty-cat.”
Lara held up a handheld computer to Doug. On screen was a woman. “Do you recognize her?”
Doug looked at her a moment. “She was one of the women who beat me up in that bathroom!” He had been too scared to go again until they had gotten back to the apartment. It was very painful.
“She was one of Colette’s hired goons,” Lara said, “and I had some suspicions about her which were confirmed when she went missing today.” She stared a moment at Doug. “Interesting they left you alive. That’s certainly not how they operate. Do you actually know something about the cube?”
Bryce laughed. “Doug doesn’t even know how many sides a cube has.”
“Yes I do! It’s six… right?” Bryce gave Doug his “Shut up!” look, and Doug took the hint. “Or does a cube have eight sides? I don’t remember.”
“Don’t take this the wrong way,” Lara said, “but I’m banking on all of you actually being a lot smarter than you seem.”
Lulu put the pad back over her eyes. “Were going to be such friends when this is all over.”
Charlene pointed to the woman on the screen. “So is she our lead?”
Lara smiled. “I can do better. When she went missing, I went to her apartment, and she forgot her phone. There was a message on it from a Doris Handler. I looked her up, and she’s a research scientist in an interdimensional studies lab in this city. I think that’s where they took the cube.”
“They’re going to secretly study it?” Bryce asked.
“Maybe they’re trying to open it,” Doug suggested.
Lara stared at him with curiosity. “Why do you say that?”
“Because, of…” Bryce was giving Doug a look again. “I don’t know. I was just guessing.”
Charlene had a great amount of suspicion in her eyes. “So let me get this straight. All in one morning, you negotiated this job with Darius, decided to warn us so as to set up Colette, investigated a missing employee, and then tracked us down to help you. You’re quite a busy girl.”
Lara appeared angry. “It wasn’t exactly like that. I’ve been at this sort of thing a lot longer than you amateurs, and I know how to seize an opportunity quickly. What exactly are you implying, Ms. Marshal?”
“We just have so many reasons to trust you.” Charlene’s hand rubbed one of the bruised cuts on her face.
“Girls, let’s calm down.” Bryce put his hand on Lara’s shoulder. “We have a great opportunity here, and Lara is a very lovely and talented woman and it’s quite a boon for us to get to work with her.”
“She’s awesome,” Lulu said, still holding the pad on her eyes. “I’m thinking of having a lesbian relationship with her right now.”
Lara stood up. “Anyway, let’s get some sleep and then try and find out what Handler knows tomorrow. We need to move as quickly as possible because we don’t want to still be around when Loch gets up to speed.”
Lara began to leave, but Bryce walked up to her before she reached the door. “Lara, I feel like I have need to apologize to you,” he said in the nervous, sincere voice Doug often heard him use when trying to get into bed again with a woman who had found out what a cad he was. “If I could talk to you privately…”
“Bryce, I’ve known you were a weasel from when I first met you. I was bored and felt like having sex, so I pretended I fell for your act. I then tricked you and your friends into raiding a military base, so no apology needed.”
Bryce looked disappointed, but soon perked up. “Well, if you’re bored now… I could tell you about how I shot Colette multiple times. It’s a great story.”
Lara laughed, and then motioned for Bryce to follow as she left the room. He quickly complied. Lulu took the pad off her face and looked towards the door with disbelief. “What a slut. I think Bryce is out of his league, though.”
“We’re all out of our league right now,” Charlene said. “Something just seems off. Let’s keep our eyes open.”
Doug took a deep breath. “If you’re not doing anything now, Charlene…”
“Doug, this is our room. Get out.”
Lulu chuckled. “You both could do better.”
Doug slowly got up and headed out. “Wait.” Charlene walked over and handed him a snub-nose revolver. “Five shots. Double-action only. Can be a back up when we get you something better. These are dangerous people, so try not to get yourself killed too quickly if something happens.”
“I have a pretty good record of not getting killed.” Doug put the gun in his pocket. “This could all work out you know. We could be rich when this all over, and frankly I think we deserve it.”
Charlene laughed. “I really can’t see that happening, but I guess we have to try.”
Doug honestly didn’t see it happening either. Somehow, he knew something horrible was going to happen. He also knew there was nothing he could do other than try and be prepared for it.
NEXT

Quick Path To Victory

Apparently we could conquer the entire Middle East just by raising American flags everywhere and calling it “New America”, since Muslims can’t figure out how to work flagpoles (last line of the story).

In My World: Near Slip Up

“Our biggest threat is Al Qaeda,” Barack Obama told a crowd of supporters. “We need to go after them, and Al Qaeda is not in Ir-… wait… um… that’s not right… uh… the key Al Qaeda leadership is not in Iraq. That’s the ticket! So, no reason for us to be in Iraq.”
“But if we leave Iraq, won’t the leadership set up base there?” a supporter asked.
“No… um… because… of the… uh… the violent Shiites there who will kill all of them.”
“Then don’t we have to worry about the Shiites?” another person in the audience asked.
“No… because… um… they’ll all eventually be… um… eaten by the sandworms. So, if we leave Iraq, everything will solve itself. There’s no reason for us to be there losing money and lives over spice… um… I mean oil.”
“Do you actually know anything about foreign affairs?” someone else asked.
“Well… um… I read the paper every day.”
“Articles or the comics?”
Obama thought about that. “What do the classifieds count as?”

Red Dawn 2: Beaten By Toys

HOLLYWOOD (AP) – United Artists has announced that they are currently filming a sequel to the war movie classic Red Dawn, which will be released in 2009, on the 25th anniversary of the original.

“Hey round-eye! Bang Bang! We kick your ass with finger gun!”

The new movie will be based on several true stories, none of which are connected in real life. In “Red Dawn 2: Beaten By Toys”, a brigade of Chinese Communists will – under the guise of carrying an Olympic torch – rampage through America, conquering city after city with no resistance using only objects which have been banned in American school systems. For example:
* A real WWII grenade with no explosive charge or detonator.
* A butter knife.
* Overly sugared Kool-Aid mix.
* A beeper.
* A Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue.
* A squirt gun.
* A pen with the Glock logo.
* Jolt Gum.
* Nails.
* Non-alcoholic jello shots.
* Mouthwash.
* A drawing of a gun.
* A Sharpie marker.
* A ham sandwich.
* Snowballs.
* An emergency roadside kit.
* Midol.
* A pointed finger combined with the word “bam”.
UA publicist Dennis Rice is enthusiastic about the upcoming release. “First, we’re thrilled that we can bring the sort of ‘ripped from the headlines’ relevance that America expects from its movies. Second, it’s a well-deserved fart in the face to the greatest nation on earth, and it’s sort of our way of thanking America for letting us make a living by biting the hand that feeds us.”
“While it’s true,” admitted Rice, “that these sort of movies haven’t been doing well lately, we prefer to look at the numbers and think ‘Hey! We’re WAY overdue for a winner!'”

“This Country Is Full of What I Call ‘Bleeding-Heart Liberals’ Who I Guess Are Turned Off by the Idea of Torturing Monkeys for No Reason”

I have fond memories of the sketch comedy The State, but I think it only lasted a season or two on MTV.

Excellent Observation

This could cause troubling rumors for McCain.
SPOILER WARNING for people (like my brother and sister-in-law) who are still waiting to watch the third season of Battlestar Gallatica