NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) — Former Vice President Al Gore announced a $300 million, 3-year public advocacy campaign called “We” to educate the American public about global warming and urge solutions from elected officials. The American public responded by offering Gore $300 million if he would “please just shut the hell up”.
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The first ad of Gore’s campaign tells viewers that Americans didn’t wait to storm the beaches of Normandy in World War II, or to overcome segregation or to put the first man on the moon. “We need to act now” to solve the climate crisis, the ad says, and refers viewers to www.wecansolveit.org.
America’s response campaign, dubbed “You”, will feature an ad telling Gore that fighting Hitler, landing on the moon, and overcoming segregation weren’t wacky pseudo-religions based on bad science and an insatiable lust for political power, and refers the Nobel laureate to www.youcanshutupnow.org.
“When politicians hear the American people calling loud and clear for change, they’ll listen,” Gore said in a statement. He will provide some of the initial funding through proceeds of his Oscar-winning climate change documentary “An Inconvenient Truth” and his Nobel Prize.
“No matter how loudly and clearly you talk to Al Gore, he just won’t listen,” said Cathy Zoi, chief executive officer of the You Campaign. “I’ve even tried speaking slowly and using small words, like you would to a slow child or a smart chihuahua, but it’s like English is a language Gore took one semester of 20 years ago and now only uses when he wants to impress his date at a restaurant. We’re hoping America’s $300 million is enough to get him to stop prattling his ignorance in that semi-retarded Sling Blade voice of his.”
A major focus of “We” will be TV and print advertising campaign and online social networking outreach, said Gore. While there have been advocacy campaigns before, “we’ve never had these kinds of resources to get into people’s living rooms,” he said. “Americans watch 4 1/2 hours of television a day.”
“I only get 4 1/2 hours a day to watch TV,” said Zoi, “and I’ll be damned if I’m going to waste it watching some washed-up ex-hippie preach to me about my environmental responsibilities from the comfort of his 10,000 square foot energy-Godzilla mansion.”
That’s the best photoshop of that pic of the Goracle I’ve seen yet, even if the “category” of the post is wrong, bravo.
Especially considering the number of times you’ve made me wash my eye with bleach after a FrankJ p-shop.
Ok, be honest. Who tried out http://www.youcanshutupnow.org to see if it really worked?
Funny, Harvey. Venturi went to work on my nose for a moment right during a sip of coffee.
Josh, I didn’t go there. But years ago I thought about starting http://www.getalife.com. I searched for the name, etc., and found it was not taken. Now it is. What a disappointment.
I was half way through before I realized it wasn’t true. I’m a little tired today. When I realized it was fake I was really disappointed. I don’t know about anyone else but here in “flyover country” every time Gore opens his mouth we have a cold snap or ice or snow.
I wish the man would just shut up. Find a new hobby, get a girlfriend, sign up to be launched into space, anything to get him to stop talking.
Prov. 17: 28
28 Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.
Maybe someone should tattoo this on his forehead.
Ok, be honest. Who tried out http://www.youcanshutupnow.org to see if it really worked?
….me.
If he wants to inform the public – why not inform them of something important, like the Monte Cristo sandwich. Much to my chagrin, i never knew that there existed such a thing until just a few years ago. I went 30 years without ever tasting a deep-fried sandwish – what a waste! And there are all sorts of great things like that, and the information is not being dispersed. Another example is the show on Discovery Channel called “Fight Quest”. The season’s over, but it is one kick-@$$ show. It’s basically two Americans, one of whom is is an Iraq War veteran and amateur boxer, and the other guy is an MMA guy. They travel around the world studying different fighting styles for five days each and then they fight a local champion using only the techniques involved in that particular style. I’m not a fighter, I’m not even particularly athletic, but that’s a good show. Tell Al to get that information out. Also tell him that he’a a fat waste-of-space.
juggernaut, in #6 you have a real winning idea there. Algore should tell the world about
– This disease called malaria which kills bazillions of little brown children all over the world, which can be wiped out with a simple, safe insecticide, which we have known for decades not to harm birds or bees, called DDT.
– The benefits of nuclear power
– If you start at age 20 with nothing and invest $30/month in the stock market (at its historical average rate of return of 10%) for 45 years, you can retire at age 65 with $1,117,000, having helped create jobs and make our currency strong along the way, and retire into a nice life of relative ease, able to share your wealth and wisdom with your less fortunate neighbor. On the other hand, if you give 15% of your pay to the government in Social Security taxes for that same period of time, you will end up just the income to keep you fed enough hobble to the polls that you might vote Democrat for the rest of your miserable, inconsequential life.
Ironically, a Russian author by the name of Yevgeny Zamyatin wrote a book called We in the early 20th century. It is basically the Russian equivalent of Orwell’s ‘1984’…
I get the disturbing feeling that we’re all going to play the main character’s role in Gore’s vision of the future.
This so needs to be a website-slash-petition, photoshop and all. I’d sign.
#3, If getalife.com is a real website then it’s a sucky one: http://www.getalife.com/. Take it over and show ’em how it’s done.
#6 wrote “If he wants to inform the public – why not inform them of something important,”
Yeah, like where to get a good burger in Vegas.
Frank, would you kindly have the decency to rickroll links like http://www.wecansolveit.org?
Or do I have to click it to find out?
Oops. Sorry, Harvey. I should read the by-lines.
Duh….
Superb, Harvey; we are not worthy.
For what it’s worth, I commute on my bicycle, I don’t even own a television, and I still think that Al Gore is full of shit.