“I hate crackers!”
“Yes, I know,” Barack Obama told Jeremiah Wright. “So does everyone else, so now its time to throw you under the bus.”
Obama Secret Service agents picked up Wright and prepared to toss him under the bus. “But I married you! I baptized your kids!”
“And I appreciate that. Say hi to my grandma when you’re under the bus.”
“But I hate that cracker!” Wright said just before being tossed under the bus.
“Now I need to just clear this up with the press.” Obama walked over and stood up on a podium just as the press was assembling. “I was unaware that Jeremiah Wright was a crazy man,” he told them. “This is something I’ve just become aware of… and not something I ignored previously for political expediency. I totally just found out about it now.”
“So you had no idea in all the time he was your spiritual mentor?” a reporter asked.
“When all the time he advised me about the evil crackers,” Obama said, “I thought he was referring to Ritz crackers. I only recently found out how rich and buttery they are — quite the opposite of evil.”
“But didn’t you quote Wright ranting about ‘white greed’ in your book Dreams from My Father?” another reporter asked.
“I’ve never read that book,” Obama answered. “Far as I know, that book is full of extremism, and I condemn it.”
“But… you wrote it.”
“Someone named Barack Obama wrote it; that’s a very common name. Any other questions.”
“Since before you said you couldn’t disown Wright anymore than you could disown the black community,” a reporter said, “are you now disowning the black community?”
Obama shrugged. “I guess. I never particularly cared for black people, especially now that I finally found out what they are like since Wright gave those interviews.”
“So you really never saw any crazy extremism in the twenty years you went to Trinity?” a reporter asked.
“Well… I’m secretly a Muslim,” Obama replied. “Every time I attended a service at Trinity, the whole time I was not paying attention as I was trying to figure out what direction Mecca was so I could pray towards it.”
“So are we to believe–”
“I think it’s one of those Mecca praying times,” Obama interrupted. “So I’m going to have to go now and do whatever it is Muslims do.”
Michelle Obama walked on stage and asked Barack, “You done talking to those crackers? Why do you even want to be president of this country? I hate it!”
Obama looked back to the press. “By the way, also due to things I’ve just suddenly become aware of, I’m getting a divorce.”
Cracker is such a dirty word. I prefer honkey.
Super-awesome, Frank J. you are on a roll!
Very funny, Frank! I needed a good chuckle after a crummy day at work and this provided it! Great stuff!
HeeHee. Wow. Used to be that IMW posts were a trip to a humorous fantasy land, but this one pretty much sums up BHO’s reality.
I don’t get what Michelle meant when she said “Why you don’t even want to be president of this country?”
Other than that, great IMW. I loved the lines:
“I’ve never read that book,” Obama answered. “Far as I know, that book is full of extremism, and I condemn it.”
“But… you wrote it.”
“Someone named Barack Obama wrote it; that’s a very common name. Any other questions.”
I am 42, old enough to have some wisdom about such things: I’ve come to the conclusion that this is without a doubt the stupidest, lamest, and potentially most dangerous presidential election cycle in American history. Great IMW, dewd. I LOL’ed.
Succinctly funny, accurate, scary and discusting, all rolled into one laugh out loud, Frank. Thanks.
that was sheer brilliance Frank. one of your best!
I’m John McCain and although I personally find this article offensive and racist I cannot and won’t comment on it’s use in this campaign.
Not bad Frank. For a dumb honkey.
Probably the shortest IMW ever, but one of the best. Disturbingly close to life, however.
So this web site has returned to its roots in investigative reporting. That is a fact to be cheered by all liberally minded, thinking people.
It must be pointed out, however, that for most in the electorate the phrase “threw her under the bus” refers not to a literal bus, but to metaphorically ridding oneself of an erstwhile ally or fellow traveler in order to shed criticism. The fact that in the case of Obama it refers to a physical bus will be something of a surprise to them, though we who follow the news more closely have been aware of this possibility for some time.
And the twin disclosure that Senator Obama is actually a Muslim fills in many gaps in our understanding. It indeed fully explains how he was able to maintain a personally fulfilling spiritual connection with his formerly Muslim mentor Wright and completely miss Wright’s opinion on just about everything except soup kitchens. He mind was elsewhere.
From all of this, the Obama-Wright Affair and your reporting of it clearly indicate to us that the weapon of choice of the modern terrorist is no longer the Uzi or the commercial jet, but the humble bus.
Thank you, Harvey, for this unbiased, hard-hitting, and frank news reporting.
Say hi to my grandma when you’re under the bus.”
Now that’s funny.
paleomedic, sure, but you have to admit, it’s also the most entertaining.
Even though elections aren’t supposed to be entertaining (except in California).
But he’s Muslim – wouldn’t he just bury her up to her neck outside town and stone her?
you know what? If Rev Wright is the reason Obama converted to Christianity, then I say it doesn’t count.
#12 made me laugh. Don’t tell him, though.