I saw an ad for the DVD release of the anti-Iraq screed Lions for Lambs. While the ads for the theatrical release made it pretty clear it was a pedantic talkee film, the ad for the DVD played it up like its an action movie about heroic troops under fire because I guess they thought that might trick some people into watching it.
Here’s an idea for Hollywood: Why don’t you actually make a movie about heroic troops in Iraq and then you won’t have to trick people into seeing your crappy films. We get movies about people heroically killing aliens and zombies and transforming robots, so why is it so hard to get a film about troops heroically killing terrorists — like they are actually doing right now? If you’re up for it, I swear I could hack out a script in one afternoon for a movie that would earn way more than the anti-American, anti-troop crap about the war you’ve been putting out lately. I’d call it Terrorists Die: An American Story and it would star Adam Baldwin. It wouldn’t just be a mindless action flick of terrorists getting blown to pieces, though; it would be educational in that it would teach you the value of killing terrorists through the cool plot and dialog that would be integrated with the action.
You might ask, “Why have any plot or dialog? Why not just show terrorists getting shot for two hours?” Well, you have to have pauses between the action to allow anticipation for more action — that film making 101 — and the best way to fill up those pauses is with dialog and plot. See, I’ve put thought into this. It will be a very productive afternoon when I hack out that awesome script. Better start right now mixing red dye with corn syrup for all the terrorist blood.
I have stopped watching “war” movies. I should have learned from “V for Vendetta” (I’M persistant, I lasted half an hour), The Shooter(of course it’s about the oil), and The Hunted (special forces, trained by some guy who was never in the army, or even a ninja). They have got to stop letting hippies write movies.(even in easy rider, the only good part comes in the last 30 seconds)
That does sound like a movie worth watching. You would think that at least the independent film makers would make a film about that.
Maybe there’s just too many hippies and the conservative filmmakers get too tired from all the face punching to film.
Or maybe they can’t stand the stink. I can see that happening too.
Frank, Frank, Frank,
You do realize who you’re talking about right. These are post (as well as dumb as) hippies, whose brains have been permanately disabled by recreational drug use. They are also liberals who never let the facts interfere with a great story. They wouldn’t recognize the truth if it put on a Barak mask and danced naked on the table with a rose between its …….
teeth.
I have a cool plot idea! It involves a faint or fake by terrorists who set off a plot to over-run Hollywood by sending fake information that they are about to invade NY. All our law enforcement heads east leaving H.W. to be protected by fake toughs!
The reason for the invasion? They have been watching our movies and the idea of butt sex with the young and soft nubiles like Penn, Damon, Pitt and Bill Mahr are too much to pass up!
The only question I have is: Will Adam Baldwin play the role as Jayne or the guy from Chuck. Either would be ok, killing wise, but Jayne is funnier with out a dopey sidekick. Oh wait, brainstorm. Add a dopey hippie sidekick that Baldwin can lecture as he blows up the terrorists and at the end the hippie can either die from his own cowardace or be converted into a BA.
I’m not sure why they make anti-America movies, but I think it’s got something to do with boofoo, as USSJC suggests.
Have you noticed that they always take one sort of plausible example, like a guy who signed up for the Reserves. You know: we’ll give you money and send you to college for free, but if we need to kill terrorists we’ll let you know. They take this one made-up example, twist it around, and imply that all servicemen are like that.
Funny they don’t mention all of the guys in Iraq who are reenlisting so they can stay there.
That wouldn’t fit the boofoo narrative.
Suggested filler dialog between scenes of territz gettin’ kilt:
Filler 1:
Joe Foo: “Fire Mission. Target point alpha, zero, zero, one, fife. Troops in the open. Danger close.”
Fire Coordinator: “Copy target point alpha, zero, zero, one, fife. Troops in open. Danger close. Stand-by”
Fire Coordinator: “Splash. Over.”
Joe Foo: “Splash. Out”
Filler 2:
Joe Foo:”Damn! That blowed-up reallll good!”
LCpl Schmuckatelli: “Yeah! Reallll good!”
Filler 3:
Joe Foo: “Crap! No more targets!”
Filler 4:
Achmed: “I really don’t think we should be meeting like this. Those cursed Americans have eyes everywhere.”
*** murmured agreements from the others in the group ***
Mahmud: “Stop being a bunch of women! The owner of this house is part of the resistance and it’s the middle of the night. There’s no way the yankees could possibly….”
JDAM: BOOOOOOOOM!!!!!
hollyweird liberals lost credibility back when they were making Billy Jack movies. Now days you can’t expect any good conservative movie unless a conservative invests his money in it.
That being said I say we take up a collection for Hellbender to get made into a movie.
You might ask, “Why have any plot or dialog? Why not just show terrorists getting shot for two hours?”
Well, they need time to reload.
#6 Socrates
And (since enlistments are for a maximum of four years) there are no “grunts” that are currently serving who joined up when things were peaceful.
This one fact is the BANE of the so-called Peace Movement. The moonbats desperately want traction on this issue but haven’t achieved it despite their scattered, useless protests.
My son’s unit is in Baghdad and they’re kicking butt whenever necessary.
Frank: sounds like it’s time for another multi-part running story. I expect to see a category “Terrorists Die: An American Story” appear on the sidebar by next week.
Do it.
I’m all fer it, ‘s long as it has both Joe Foo AND Adam Baldwin.
oh, and Vera (or some variation of such) oughter be in it too.
You also have to have the scene where they load a mule up with explosives and then Abdul takes it on a trip to blow up some Joooos but on the way decides to be “intimate” with the beast and it goes BLAMMO!
Do it Frank! Write it up! I’ve been longing for a good war movie and every thing since Eastwood did the supid chick flick have suxed!
I 2nd #15…write the screenplay. I bet Mel G. and Bruce Willis would bankroll it…Bruno would even make a great field commander.