The New York Times has a piece that feebly examines why late night talk shows are avoiding skewering Obama in their monologues. Here are some of their excuses:
“The thing is, he’s not buffoonish in any way,[…] He’s not a comical figure”
“A lot of people are excited about his candidacy […] It’s almost like: ‘Hey, don’t go after this guy. He’s a fresh face; cut him some slack.'”
“We’re not trying to lay off the new guy”
“I think some of us were maybe too quick to caricature Al Gore and John Kerry and there’s maybe some reluctance to do the same thing to him”
“Anything that has even a whiff of being racist, no one is going to laugh […] The audience is not going to allow anyone to do that.”
“I think white audiences get a little self-conscious if race comes up”
“I think it’s more a problem because he’s so polished, he doesn’t seem to have any flaws.”
“We can’t manufacture a perception. If the perception isn’t true, no one will laugh at it.”
I can’t believe these limp-wristed auto-fellators call themselves comedians. If you can’t make a joke about something, it’s not because the subject is unmockable, it’s because you aren’t trying hard enough. Hell, I made 30 jokes about Nebraska, and that’s universally regarded as the boringest state in the world.
Quitters.
Still, Jimmy Kimmel suggests there might be ONE possible approach for these slack-mastering layabouts:
“His ears should be the focus of the jokes.”
Fine, let’s run with that. Here’s a double handful of punchlines to the setup, “Obama’s ears are SO big…”
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- … Alfred E. Neuman took one look at them and said “if mine were that big, then I would worry”.
- … he can’t go to the zoo without getting hit on by lady elephants. Or the boys, when he’s in Frisco.
- … Michelle nearly refused to marry him after she found out that it’s NOT true what they say about the size of a man’s ears.
- … he doesn’t have to attend church to listen to Rev. Wright’s sermons.
- … the thought of trying to squeeze through a revolving door makes him break out in a cold sweat.
- … moderators at presidential candidate debates will never know he’s cheating. Seriously, who’s got 6 hours to inspect those things for a smuggled wireless earpiece?
- … Curious George sued him for copyright infringement.
- … teenagers frequently mistake them for a totally rad skate park.
- … mobile news crews use them to get a satellite uplink.
- … they have their own zip codes
- … and time zones.
Personally, I recommend the Late Night Lame & Lazies either get their noses back on the grindstone or just come right out and admit that the REAL reason Obama gets a pass is that they’re a bunch of humor-impaired socialist wanna-be’s who wouldn’t know a good joke if it jumped up and bit them on the Liberal Arts degree.
…they slap the hell out of him on windy days, or when he’s really excited.
Boy, this is harder than I thought. Hats off to our hardy late night “comedy” writers.
That’s Liberal Arse degree!
-his ears are so big, ross perot makes fun of him.
-his ears are so big, they’re actually his white half.
-his ears are so big it takes him 45 seconds to listen to the Jeopardy theme song.
-when his ears ring, they violate noise ordinances.
What’s so tough about this? Call Jimmy Kimmel – I need a job.
Hey, I live in Nebraska! There’s no way we are more boring than Wyoming and Kansas.
…… before they got too big, Michelle used them for love handles.
Larry Sinclair agrees that it’s not true what they say about a man’s ears… heh, heh.
OMG- He’s a perfect fit for Disney’s flying elephant…. Think about it…
“Prissy: Have you girls heard what’s happening to Dumbo? He’s being demoted to a clown!
Giddy: A CLOWN?
Elephant Matriarch: Oh, the shame of it. Let us take the solemn vow. From now on, he is no longer an elephant. ”
“Timothy Q. Mouse: Remember, you come of a proud race. Why, you’re a… a pachydoim, and pachydoims don’t cry. ”
The movie is loaded with good quotes…
Careful Andrew, when you move to Wyoming, you get a complementary six-shooter and box of ammunition.
what’s more fun then that….
By the way….
Did you know Barack Obama is going to start a new record label?
It is going to promote politically oriented hip-hop music.
Apparently the company will be named Flip Flop Records…..
…that when he’s walking towards you it looks like a car coming at you with both doors open.
…that the question frequently arises, “Barack. Prince Charles. Separated at birth?”
…that he can wear ANY size hat and it wouldn’t fall over his eyes.
… he heard a Who long before Horton did
… he has his own version of SETI@Home. He stands in the yard with an ear to the sky.
Or, you know, we could make fun of his raving Marxism. Is that so hard for Leno to do?
James, did you just ask why a prominent Hollywood figure can’t make fun of Obama’s marxism? Seriously? That’s like wondering why Christians don’t slam Christ.
I already lampooned his ears. Do not need to be much of a spears flinger to hit that target. Basically my theory in the piece is that Obama is RuPaul as you never see them at the same time at the same place. In addition its a proven fact that Obama is LBJ’s love child and the ear DNA proves it.
… he doesn’t have to attend church to listen to Rev. Wright’s sermons.
… teenagers frequently mistake them for a totally rad skate park.
Yes!! Hilarious!!
Q: How many Obama supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: That’s not funny.
“Q: How many Obama supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?”
A: We don’t have an answer yet; so far we have 2 million Obamaniacs in a circle hoping the light will change itself, but so far it hasn’t even made it out of the box. Come back when we have four million.
Obama supporters will only change a compact fluorescent bulb anyway.
The first Senate bill he sponsored was a measure to outlaw those annoying dog whistles.
Harvey, Harvey, Harvey. Don’t you know that making fun of an African American’s ears is racist? You’re going to be strung up by the New York Times for this.
Besides, Barry’s ears are so big:
… you could land a fighter jet on them.
… Steven Tyler thought his lips had been stolen.
… he doesn’t need an umbrella.
… he once head-butted a soccer ball and it got stuck.
… some people get earwigs. Barack Obama gets earponies.
… he’s gonna meet unconditionally with A’Jad and smother the little midget.
… he can’t ride in a convertible because all the signs on the freeway will have to be replaced afterwards. (This is fun – I wonder if I could get a job on Letterman)
… he’s actually wearing a flag pin on his lapel – it’s just covered up.
… he can smuggle a switchblade past a metal detector behind each earlobe.
… he’s Ross Perot’s love child.
… he is what Mr. Burns used to block out the sun.
… when he said he could solve global warming by the end of his first term, he wasn’t talking about CO2. He meant he would personally provide shade for everybody.
He’s not Muslim – he’s Ferrenghi
Props on the Ferrenghi reference. I laughed my ass off for like 20 minutes.
His ears are so big, you can barely get a noose around his neck…
Q. Why doesn’t Barack drink Pepsi?
A. He thinks that things go better with coke.
I’m sorry, the surprise inside the Cracker Jack box would be, what?
That the talking head of late night are LIBERAL. No, say it ain’t so.
Is there anyone in the known universe that is surprised by this particular revelation? If so I have land south of New Orleans for sale. Water view. Very affordable.
Love this list, love this site but you can’t use the curious George reference. They will think you are racist and God forbid someone have a different view from them! BTW: My brother in law has one of these shirts..lol..
http://www.chicagotribune.com/business/chi-obama-curious-george-shirt-080514-ht,0,348581.story
……. When he heard that the Twin Towers had fallen, he screamed and reached for them.
Obama’s ears are SO big…
…that DARPA has secretly wired them as skew-polarized, off-axis, microwave HARP antennas.
Someone should tell the leftards of late night about this site. They could troll here for excellent material for some of teh funny on Obamsa-bama ding dong. And his little dog too. Mwhaahahhahah.
HE’S THE ONE! HE’S GOING TO FIX THE MATRIX!
“Yeah, I could stick my whole fist in there if I wanted…”
Buwahahaha!!!