Frank received a letter from the RNC yesterday. Simply seeing a letter from those clueless losers makes me collapse in fits of giggles, because I know they’re going to ask for money, and the answer is always a resounding “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Anyway, y’all know where this is going, so I’ll just get started.
First, the date:
Wednesday Morning
Hey, that’s today’s date (well, it was this morning)! Seriously, what kind of date is “Wednesday Morning”? We get those roughly fifty-two times a year. I’m starting to think they recycle these letters. Dear Mr. J, blah blah blah, ah.
I don’t want to believe you’ve abandoned the Republican Party
I don’t want to believe the Republican Party’s abandoned me either, but I also didn’t want to believe that they killed off Captain America or that Buffy broke up with Spike. Lousy do-gooder.
but I have to ask… Have you given up?
Um, duh? Has any conservative not given up?
Our records show we have not yet received your Republican National Committee membership renewal for the critical 2008 presidential election year.
Presumptive much? Your records should also show you have not yet received our Republican National Committee membership renewal since about 2004, when the Republicans started acting like they didn’t win that election and started being like Democrats with the spending and the hating conservatives.
As the Treasurer of the RNC, I know our Party’s success depends directly on grassroots leaders like you.
What? The Treasurer wrote this letter? Why don’t you just get the RNC Historian to write to us so we know just how important we are?
So I am surprised and concerned especially because I know how generously you supported President Bush and the RNC in the past.
And after that generous support, imagine our surprise when President Bush and the RNC started screwing us every chance they got! (Except lately, with the oil thing, but he should have done that ages ago.)
You helped to advance our vision for America and elect Republicans at all levels of government.
Hey, we accept no credit/blame for anyone but the conservative one. Or two. There are two, right? Please tell me there are two.
Mr. J, I know other things come up, and perhaps you’ve just been delayed in renewing your membership. If that’s the case, I understand.
I hope you also understand that we hate you and would moon you from the back seat if we passed you on the highway.
But we’ve not heard from you this year — and I hope you haven’t deserted our Party.
Party with a capital P. They’re important.
Your generous financial assistance and active involvement are more important than ever as we work to elect a new Republican president and Congress.
But we asked for a conservative president and Congress, not Republican ones. Sorry to nitpick.
There is so much at stake. The Democrats are determined to put a liberal like Barack Obama in the White House,
The Republicans are determined to put a liberal like John McCain in the White House, so your argument would have gone better if you’d called Obama a socialist.
expand their narrow majorities in the U.S. House and Senate, and push our country to the Left [again with the capitals?] with their agenda of high taxes, big government and weakened national security.
Big government and weakened national security. That reminds me of this one time when the president passed every bill the big government Democrats put in front of him and this other time when John McCain decided that sovereign borders have nothing to do with national security. Good times.
Big Labor [dude, relax with the ShifT KEy], radical liberal protest groups and Hollywood elites are planning to spend more than $500 million to defeat Republicans and aid the Democrat power grab.
Oh no! Not the protesters and the actors! The unions do scare me a little, so I won’t scoff at them.
Mr. J, the RNC relies on the voluntary support of Republican activists like you.
Frank’s an activist? Anyway, you can rely on our voluntary support when you stop being voluntary tools. Begging for money, turn the letter over (it’s a two-pager!)… Blah blah blah…
The RNC is also the ONLY Republican organization permitted by federal law to directly support our presidential nominee.
You’re proud of this, yes? Proud of the fact that there are laws in place that say who can support nominees and how much they can spend? Oh yes. Your candidate is into that.
If we fail to hold the White House and make gains in Congress, the Democrats have made clear they will overturn every reform you helped President Bush achieve.
If you fail to hold the White House against a breezy empty suit and fail to make gains in a Congress that has a 13% approval rating, then you have only yourselves to blame. And Ron Paul. It’s fun to blame him for stuff, because he’s crazy. Say, do you think the Democrats will also overturn McCain-Feingold, even though I didn’t help President Bush achieve that one?
Democrat presidential candidates and the Reid/Pelosi-run-Congress
Ok, see… you’re reminding me how you failed so HARD in 2006 that these two are in charge of the legislature.
have promised to blah blah blah…
We cannot allow them to succeed!
Cannot? Or must not/should not? Because I’m pretty sure you can. I believe in you.
That’s why your renewed commitment is so important.
You first, dude.
So if you have delayed in renewing your membership because you feel the RNC has let you down, or no longer needs you, please let me know. I want to hear from you.
You do NOT want to hear from me. I promise.
Just include your comments and suggestions with the enclosed Membership Confirmation
LOL. Really? Is the postage prepaid, because the envelope could get pretty heavy.
and return them with your 2008 membership renewal check.
Darnit. Blah blah blah, thank you, signed Mr. Treasurer of the Party.
The last time I saw a letter that desperate, hopeless, and full of empty points was from one of my ex girl friends.
You and Frank should be very careful. In my experience if you don’t respond to the letter next week your tires will be slashed. After that it’s the road kill in the box delivered via UPS.
My suggestion is to get a restraining order from the RNC. When they break the order you can get the RNC thrown in the local mental health hospital. It’s where the RNC belongs anyway.
You are almost reading my mind when you write back to the RNC. I am now calling myself a Conservative Constitutionalist, a phrase that works much better.
While McCain sucks, he is better than Obama. Not much, but a little. I pray.
My wife gave the local republicans a $100 bucks, if I only I’d proposed to sarahk (assuming she’d say yes; how couldn’t she), I’d be able to fill up my gas tank and drive to the strip club to spend my left over 3 dollars.
McCain is a considerably better leader and statesman than Obama. To say the difference is small is kind of petty… If you look at McCain’s record, it is a record of integrity and honesty in public spending. To me, those two issues are pretty important to his conservative credentials. I heard some guy at the gun show saying that “McCain-Feinstein” was trying to shutdown bulletproof vest sales and gun shows…. “Conservatives” need to cut the slander and get their facts straight. Else, they might spite McCain (like Bush Sr.) and end up with another Billy…
I want to see somebody come up with a plausible plan for instituting an actual conservative 3rd party that has a viable shot at winning any national elections. I mean, getting a plurality of seats in one of the legislatures at least. I’m starting to feel like the RNC has drifted leftward long enough that there’s not much hope of getting them back, and frankly Fred Thompson was probably embarrassed to have the little (R) after his name in TV captions. Call it the Conservative Party, Conservative Constitutionalists, whatever you want, so long as people know we’re not going to get wishy-washy when the shit hits the fan.
Have you yet seen the two envelopes marked “second notice” and “final notice” in red? My shredder didn’t even burp, entitled chumps. Frankly, I think the Fred Thompson campaign gave them my address and I’m not happy about it.
Dang, that was good, SarahK. Bravo! Encore!
I have long enjoyed filling out pleas for cash with a big zero and answering their question honestly in their polls. Of course the multiple choice options NEVER say what I want, so I add my own words.
The best part though is stuffing in the handful of gravel before sealing the envelope and dropping it in the mail.
That Was a FuNny Letter!! And your Replies were even Better, Sarah. Great Post. 🙂
Get our heads out of our @$$es and stop giving Obama more ground. We need to keep him out of the office he has ties to terrorist organizations and wants to cut our defense. Defense is too important and we can’t let him win. I’d rather give to the RNC that sucks then concede and give the DNC that is bent on the US’s destroction.
“I … would moon you from the back seat if we passed you on the highway.”
And all I have to do is pass more earmarks?
I drive on I-10 pretty much every day, so feel free SarahK to moon me if you see me. I’d send you cash in an RNC envelope if you did.
Whoa – echo5a. Check a map. Frank and Sarah live in Idaho now. Not I-10. Ah, no.
Note to FrankJ: Do not let the old lady blog when she is on her “unpleasant time of the month”.
Just sayin’ if she is ever on I-10…
Note to FrankJ: Do not let the old lady blog when she is on her “unpleasant time of the month”.
#13 – Posted by: Sanjayrupta Pravati on July 30, 2008 10:34 PM
She can post anytime. And what makes you think this is that time of the month. I didn’t get any unpleasant vibes from what she wrote. She just feels betrayed by the Party. Kind of like the Family, only better connected.
This would be more believablably homurous if it had Frankj’s or Harvey’s sig, as sarahk is not very funny and gets pissy about foul language, especially when aimed at fags.
sarahk: “OOOO, I’m so mad, but don’t talk mean about the fags.” yawn
Remember, it’s wishy washy attitudes like hers that made the repubs think it was okay to go socialist. Pick a side and stick with it, sarahk.
[SK: Hi shimauma! Nice to see you!]
Commenter #16:
Ok. What?
As for the article, yep, that pretty much describes how I feel with the RNC. And the sad thing is that here in Canada, the Republicans (even John McCain) would be considered too “extreme” to get elected.
Love the part of the letter where they want your “comments and suggestions.” The one group of people the RNC has made it clear it doesn’t want to hear from is registered Republicans.
I received the same letter and my comments were the exact same as I read it to my wife. I can’t believe their arrogance to ask ME if if I’ve abandoned THEM. I’m still the same bitter, gun-owning conservative that I was in 1980 (but with more guns now!!) and they are….
….WTF are they anyway?
#16
yeah, because SarahK is so wishy-washy. Do you even read this blog?
I got the same letter this week. SarahK, get out of my head.
I wonder if they’ll read our comments, even if we -do- send a check… self-important bastards. Who the hell voted for the RNC leadership, anyway?
I got to the “read more” blivet, and didn’t need to. You’d already echoed my thoughts sufficiently. SIGH F^#K it. McCain ’08.
Received the same letter.
I just wrote:
Tell McCain to ask the moderates for money. He doesn’t work for me.
The only times I’ve given money to a Republican Presidential campaign was 1980 and 1984 and Ronald Reagan. The RNC – never.
Hey, #16, you forgot to sign. Low cred’s.
Good to see SarahK still remembers how to type! I miss her snappy snarking. I was beginning to think Frank had buried her in the back yard.
VOTE SARAHK in 08!
[SK: Hi shimauma! Nice to see you!]
Hi back at you, you snotty brat. Still riding your hubby’s coattails I see, that or you should probably stop taking credit for his work…unless Harv did this one for you out of pity?
Make sure to do a big sappy post when the faggot you shelter molests your children, because that’s what they like to do. ;}
Hey, shimauma, what are you doing here in the IMAO comments when you should be protesting a Marine funeral with Fred Phelps?
But really, I’m glad you loved my post so much that you thought Frank or Harvey wrote it. I thought it kinda fell flat at the end myself. But your approval is all that really matters.
coughI think echo & Todd like big butts… cough
Hey, Frank, if anybody talked to my wife the way that pussy Shimauma talks to yours, I’d be kicking some arrogant punk ass.
Although, in the war of words dept., Sarahk seems to be doing just fine on her own. Still. Ass-kicking is fun, and should happen to idiots more often. Just sayin’.
Geez, SarahK, venting is fun and all, but maybe a few points from grown-up reality are worth mentioning:
(1) Politics is the art of the possible, not the ideal. Here’s a clue: the average American voters is not as conservative as you. Not nearly. So your perfect candidate has an exactly zero chance of ever being elected in your lifetime. Sad. But there it is. Shed a tear or two over that fact o’ life and then get over it and get on to figuring out which candidate is the least of all evils. If, as I suspect, that’s John McCain, then hold your princess nose and pull the lever for him, lest you end up, as my grandmother used to say, cutting off your nose to spite your face, by helping elect someone who is far worse just to “show them.”
(2) Politics take money, lots of it, and money is not the root of all evil the aristocratic left say it is, but rather the condensed, stored labor and effort of human beings, such as yourself. By donating money you, in essence, donate your labor, support, interest, and so forth. People in the business know this.
So they also know that if you don’t donate money, then you’re really not a serious person, and there’s no point to listening to you. What you’re saying by donating your criticism, instead of your time and effort (a.k.a. your money) is that you want to supervise, to carp, critique, et cetera — but not actually contribute your labor and interest. You’re a sidewalk supervisor. You’ll spend 10 minutes writing a blog post criticizing party policy, but you won’t spend an hour down at the local headquarters hashing out a strategy for even a dogcatcher’s election that will hold together an electoral coalition big enough to actually win an election, and govern afterward.
There’s no shortage of criticism on the Internet, huh? If the RNC wants some criticism, it’s not like they need to go hunting for some, pay focus groups for it, right? Criticism is extremely cheap. If all you’re selling is criticism, it’s pretty hard to see why they should spend any of their own time and effort buying it. Would you? Do you make blog posts just so that you can get some useful criticism, see where you’ve been going wrong all these years? Ha ha.
Try donating some money — or better yet, some time. Get involved with the party, work with it, learn how successful coalitions are put together, educate yourself as to how politics and governing actually work (instead of relying on your personal insight from out of your navel as to how it ought to work), and, yes, donate some of your hard-earned cash, and then you’ll find that they’ll start listening to you. You criticize them for not listening, but nothing you’re saying here suggests you’re serious enough and informed enough to be worth listening to, outside of your own echo chamber (e.g. IMAO).
Dear Mr. Pham,
To what lengths your many paragraphs demonstrate the very pretentiousness and condescension typical of the organization SarahK speaks of. Your last paragraph is particularly obnoxious as you have absolutely no idea of her previous or current involvement in politics. Yet your reference to her ‘naval’ as the source of her personal insight is insulting and beyond the pale here at IMAO. This from a reader of your many postings over time.
This (Frank’s and Sarah’s) particular “echo chamber” apparently works quite well as your six laborious paragraphs demonstrate. I would contend, to the contrary of your assertion, that IMAO is very widely read by thousands of politicians, pundits and citizens alike. If you think so poorly of this forum and its reach as a means to express opionion without an “echo chamber” (as you put it) perhaps you should have availed yourself to a private e-mail with her.
By the way, I have campaigned and donated for/to one “perfect” candidate in my lifetime (and several non-perfect ones) but have steadfastly refused to donate to the RNC. Perhaps there’s a valid message there. Perhaps the only echo you may be hearing is your own.
Jimmy
Man, why did this post get people so riled up? It made me laugh.
And I totally agree that the RNC has abandoned us conservatives, but I also sure as heck don’t want to see a deomcrat controlled House, Senate, and Whitehouse this fall. So, Go Republicans!
(not that I’ll give any money to the RNC, but I’ll do what I can for the Republican candidates in my area)
Hillarious… yet so true. It’s a sad state of affairs when I have almost the same level of contempt for the GOP – my family’s party for three generations – as I have for the (spit) democrats.
“Big government and weakened national security. That reminds me of this one time when the president passed every bill the big government Democrats put in front of him and this other time when John McCain decided that sovereign borders have nothing to do with national security. Good times.”
Hits the nail on the head.
Oh, and I rolled my eyes at this in the lengthy post by Carl Pham:
“So they also know that if you don’t donate money, then you’re really not a serious person, and there’s no point to listening to you. What you’re saying by donating your criticism, instead of your time and effort (a.k.a. your money) is that you want to supervise, to carp, critique, et cetera — but not actually contribute your labor and interest.”
In other words, shut up and send in your check to an organization that increasingly doesn’t work for your goals so they’ll know that you’re serious in… um… rolling over and taking it?
But hey! What if I gave my money to the democrat party? Would THEY take me seriously and start doing the things I want, like balancing the budget, shrinking the government, reducing taxes, securing the borders, winning the war, leaving my guns alone, drilling for oil, etc, etc? Actually, there’s some truth in this: if you can give the filthy dems a bigger check than George Soros, the unions, and the Hollywood crowd, Dingy Harry and SanFran Nan will do whatever you want. Money talks and BS walks…
Saddly, Politics has become more like football. A person defending the RNC is like that friend of yours who still thinks the Cowboy’s are going to win the Super Bowl because at one time they were great, no matter that they have consistantly sucked for the last several years. I think that summs it up.
I support the American Legion, the National Rifle Association; I sent a donation to American Solutions to get their cool “Drill Here, Drill Now, Spend Less” bumper-sticker; and I may send a check to the Heritage Foundation next week; but I haven’t sent a dime to any candidate or party so far.
I’d rather spend my spare cash (if I have any after paying my bills and filling my gas tank) on supporting state higher education by buying lottery tickets.
I believe I’ll have a better chance of getting a return on my investment than I would if I sent a donation to the RNC this year.
I’m waiting until after the conventions to decide if I get involved or just dig a bunker and wait for the end.
I’m So Depressed! But I’ll get over it!
Correction!
The bumper sticker reads “Drill here, Drill now, Pay less”, not ‘Spend less’.
I want to Pay less; it’s the Government that should Spend less. I guess that was a Freudian typo!
See! I feel better already!