Scientists think they have figured out how to make a warp drive, which is good because I’ve always said we need to find other planets with life on them and drill there for oil. Also, people won’t care so much about ruining “pristine” wilderness here by drilling if we have like infinite other planets to choose from.
The problem with doing warp speed has always been Einstein. I don’t know if this has happened to you, but often I’m watching something like Star Trek and say, “Wow! That’s cool!” when the ships zoom off faster than light. Then Einstein bursts into the room and yells, “It’s impossible! Theory of relativity! It would take infinite energy to get mass to move at the speed of light, bitches!”
And I’m like, “SHUT UP EINSTEIN AND LET ME DREAM!!!”
The idea here, though, is to completely bypass that jerk Einstein by not having the ship move at all and instead just fold space by manipulating the 11th spatial dimension in front of and behind the ship. It’s like super simple.
I know what you’re thinking. “That would take like more energy than there is in the universe to do!” Uh-uh. It would only take about as much energy as if you converted all the mass of Jupiter to energy through E=mc^2. It’s totally doable… as long Einstein doesn’t try and figure some way to stop us. But he’s currently lost his dimensional anchor and is concurrently existing it all dimensions at once, fluctuating between them so fast as not to exist at all. As long as some mad scientists isn’t foolhardy enough to try and return Einstein’s stability, we’ll all be fine.
So let’s get working on that warp drive. It will take a lot of oil to power it, so we better start drilling now.

Tom Matzzie of Accountable America is planning on sending threatening letters to Republican donors to scare them away from helping conservatives causes. Iowahawk received one, and it does look like it could have an effect.