On the forty-fifth anniversary of Martin Luther King’s “I Have a Dream Speech,” Barack Obama gave his speech accepting the nomination of the Democratic Party. King’s speech was about judging people not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character, and while Obama’s character lacks any content whatsoever, this was still pretty historic. And, if you can’t nominate someone competent, you might as well go for someone historic.
Anyway, it was an important speech that everyone should be talking about for about five or six minutes until McCain’s running mate pick dominates the news cycle. Of course, I didn’t watch it; I was busy playing Pokemon on my DS. There’s these berry trees in the game that could die if I don’t water them once a day, and we Republicans are all about responsibility. Still, I rounded up the reactions of other people to Obama’s speech for your convenience:
REACTIONS TO OBAMA’S SPEECH
Nancy Pelosi: “It drilled my brains!”
Harry Reid:”I wish I got applauded after speaking.”
Tom Daschle: “Do you think he’ll hire me? Target is working me like a slave-driver.”
Joe Biden: “This was Obama at his most articulate. The speech was completely devoid of the ghetto slang we would expect from his kind.”
John McCain: “I’ve heard more coherent things out of gooks I’ve strangled. They also were less negative about me.”
Robert Byrd: “Holy crap, we just nominated a (censored)!”
Joe Lieberman: “They wouldn’t let me in the building.”
Keith Olbermann: “I had to change my pants twice during it.”
William Ayers: “To know my good friend Obama may go in the White House almost makes me not want to blow it up.”
Jeremiah Wright: “Bet the crackers ate that up.”
Kos: “Blig awagga gerrrrblah!”
Michael Moore: “After it, I was speechless and obese.”
Chris Matthews: “The doctors found out that the tingle up my leg is nerve damage.”
Hillary Clinton: “Enjoy your moment in the spotlight, wee child, but never think this is over.”
Fred Thompson: “I’ve crapped better speeches.”
Barack Obama: “It was the greatest speech ever given. It was like God Himself was speaking through me and then I realized: I’m God.”
Paris Hilton: “It lacked substance.”
I can’t find the sixth star to rate this, Frank.
I’m dying here. Brilliant.
Objectively speaking, His Sermon On The Mound was the most inspirational, wise and profound speech of our time!!!!
To call it a mere “speech” does serious injustice to the soaring retoric and absolutely beautiful, sonorous voice that produced it!!!
We’re gonna have a VPILF
“Robert Byrd: “Holy crap, we just nominated a (censored)!”
Pure brilliance, Frank!
Like I said a few threads back.
Gobsmacked.
Let’s have a sweep on how long it is before she gets called ‘inauthentic’.
I think picking Palin is McCain’s way of saying “I hate you stupid conservatives,
but here’s a bone to chew on!”
Let’s see if BO can reinvent the candygram and take care of that awful Mongo.
Well, it sure beats:
“Screw you guys, I’m gonna take Lieberman for VP!”
Kos: “Blig awagga gerrrrblah!”
Maybe Obama can work miracles if his speech can raise the level of discourse at the DailyKos to the level of gibberish.
Nancy Pelosi: “It drilled my brains!”
Anyone catch the double entendre?? I sure hope you meant that one, Frank! It’s too good to be an accident.
Michael Moore: “After it, I was speechless and obese.”
Spot on, but this quote made my day.
And, Sarah Palin? Boo yeah! She’s Teh Hawt, and more qualified than people might expect.
The Lieberman line kills if you do it in the proper Droopy Dog voice.
Chris Matthews has been found out. His real identity is Tinky Winky the Teletubby with the Obama grab handle mounted on the top of his head.
http://www.amarketplaceofideas.com/chris-matthews-should-get-to-the-mit-leg-laboratory-for-help.htm
MIT does have a leg laboratory that possibly may help Chris Matthews.
“Fred Thompson: “I’ve crapped better speeches.””
Frank Barone – “I coulda eaten a box of Alphabits and crapped a better interview.”
Bill Clinton: “You didn’t listen, son. I told you what to say.”
All you conservative republicans are real idiots, you must all work for Target!! There is not one intelligent comment on this useless blog. You guys are angry because OB has the his own and the extra brain that McCain lacks. Let me put it into terms you may more understand — na ne na ne boo boo!!
Mmmmm. Trolls. We eat them before they wake up!
Does IMAO stand for I’m an A$$Hole online? Im not sure if I’m supposed to take this seriously or if this entire blog is a big joke. I don’t get it…
Holy smoke that was hysterical!
I’ve been wanting the “entire list,” Jack Ace. Do you have a blog? I need to bookmark you. Or, just come back often to help old guys out ’cause M. Love is coming back and I need to be ready for him/her/it.
Here’s a tip: when trying to insult someone else’s intelligence, it really helps to use proper grammar and spelling. But that’s ok – your way was more funny.
And don’t worry about not understading this site: satire is often difficult to grasp for lower species – I’m impressed you managed to use a computer at all! But I can try to dumb it down so you can understand:
We funny. You dumb. Our VP is hot, and Obama sucks a big one.
Ernie says, satire is often difficult to grasp for lower species
But is it satire or parody? You’ll have to check with the brain surgeons at Feministing on that.
(Link not to feministing but to an IMAO post).