Just So We’re Clear on Cows

Got this e-mail with the subject “‘frank answers’ tried to post this as an answer”:

That’s an outright lie. The reason why we have so many cows is because many stupid people insist on using cows for dairy…which requires constant impregnation for “our” own selfish, unnecessary, and unhealthy dairy consumption.
I love basically all animals regardless of whether man has made use of them for his own selfish purposes or not. I’ve raised chickens as a vegetarian and given the means, I would do so again in a heart beat. Cattle seem even more intelligent than fowl, IMO.

No idea what post that’s in response to, but I think it stands by itself.

38 Comments

  1. No sir, you only have to impregnate a cow once to get dairy. They will produce milk as long as you keep milking them. We have so many cows because we have so many people that think they are tasty.
    Oh, and because of ice cream. Who doesn’t like ice cream.

  2. Cows intelligent? Wow, as someone who has lived near cows for quite sometime, I never realized that when they were standing around doing nothing but standing in the same place for hours they were contemplating their place in the universe, or that when coyotes attack them and they freak out instead of just using their superior size and numbers to stomp on them, it was because they are intelligent!

  3. mateo r –
    Can we test Senator Biden at the same time? He seems to be really proud of his IQ. My guess is that he’s smarter than the chicken. I’m less sure about his IQ relative to the cow’s.
    I’ve raised chickens as a vegetarian
    Isn’t that the only way you CAN raise a chicken? They’re naturally vegetarians, aren’t they? Who raises them as carnivores?
    They sure are tasty, though.

  4. Actually, have you ever given chickens their own eggs? They scarf those down like there’s no tomorrow. Both of these animals are only so common because humans have a vested interest in keeping them around.
    Let that be a lesson to you evolving species out there: if you evolve to be tasty, make sure to be reeeaaly tasty so that we’ll keep you around.

  5. Silicon Valley Jim-
    Chickens are not vegetarians, they will eat bugs and probably other wimpy things like liberals if given the opportunity.
    Jimmy-
    There are questions you definitely don’t want answered. My money is that yours is one of them.

  6. Clearly a blogger from the DNC convention.
    Poor fella, he’s been surrounded by so much stupidity all week that cattle seem “EVEN more” intelligent than fowl. I can see how, relative to all those freaks around him, cows and chickens would suddenly seem friggin’ brilliant.

  7. Yes, I stupidly insist on using cows for dairy. My cat won’t let me milk it and, lets face it, cat burgers just aren’t as tasty as hamburgers. Which, while I’m on that subject, shouldn’t they really be called ‘cowburgers’?
    Why would a vegetarian be raising chickens? Do you like the noise? The first time a rooster woke me up at oh-dark-thirty in the morning, I guarantee I’d be having chicken and eggs for breakfast.

  8. Maybe he/she is just bitter because he/she no longer has the means to raise chickens. I mean – ANYbody can raise chickens – this person must be REALLY poor. Maybe it’s Obama’s brother or something.

  9. Brian The Adequate – I have answers.
    1. He must have seen that dairy on TV where they impregnate the cows every day just to get their milk.
    2. If you screw with the chickens, they up and die on you. Then you HAVE to eat ’em.

  10. I watched some of the DNC coverage over the past two nights and there appears to be a large contingent of cows in attendance and they seem to be angry! I doubt the intelligence theory, however…

  11. Chickens are not vegetarians, they will eat bugs and probably other wimpy things like liberals if given the opportunity.
    Thank you, Brian. I don’t get to see a lot of chickens here in Silicon Valley, so I don’t know these things. I was going to be moving to Iowa in a week, but the fact that a car hit me while I was bicycling home last week, and, in the process, broke several bones in my leg, has changed my plans for now. I still look forward to learning about pigs and corn.

  12. Maybe we should give chickens and cows an IQ test to see which is smarter.
    #5 – Posted by: mateo r on August 27, 2008 12:48 PM

    It’s chickens – I’ve seen them play tic-tac-toe. Ever seen a cow do that? Yeah, didn’t think so.

  13. Jim,
    Sorry to hear about your injuries. You will find Iowa a very nice state. I grew up there. The people are very friendly, highly educated and great neighbors! Just make sure you make the Iowa Hawkeyes your football team and not those totally gay Iowa State Cyclones…

  14. Yeah, chickens eat every thing that is not nailed down, and would eat the nails if they could Jim. But to someone who has never seen a chicken run around with it’s head chopped off, fun little farm facts can’t prepare you for the joys of rural life and the friendly, gracious, helpful and giving people you meet there.

  15. Thanks for the kind words, Jimmy and ussjimmycarter. I’m in very little pain, thanks, I think, to some very skillful surgeons; it took two hours of surgery under general anesthesia to put my left ankle back together. I’m just gaining a little more energy every day and doing all the things that I’ve been told to do (which occurs about as often as Teddy Kennedy stays sober).

  16. Reminds me of a National Peoples’ Radio (NPR) reporter a few years ago about her experience on a dude-ranch – after setting the scene (how she’d been vegan, then normal, then vegan, then omnivore again, and how she thought that she’d go back to vegan after her experience)-

    After only two days of working with these incredibly stupid animals, I have come to realize that they are food.

  17. Jimmy in Silicon, I have tried to raise chickens as carnivores, much to the dismay of my other animals. Now all I have to show for it are uncontrolable meat eating machines that constantly crave hippy flesh. Wow, I never realized until now, that isn’t a bad thing at all. DNC here I come!!!!!

  18. Silicon Valley Jim…. you cant break “several” bones in your leg…. there are only three Femur, Tibia, Fibia….. as the current recipient of a brken ankle.. I commiserate and wish you a speedy recovery….
    Jimmy “If you screw with chickens they up and die on you”. Please spare the readers the intimate details of your nefarious lifestyle….

  19. Terrible Troy–
    I commiserate with you and Jim, and hope you are feeling better, but yes, it is indeed possible to break several bones in your leg. Several means, “more than two, yet not many.” Three is more than two, but is not many.
    I looked it up in my Funk and Wagnalls

  20. You know I’m always fascinated by people who think they are more compassionate, caring, righteous, and sensitive than anyone else.
    Why on God’s green earth if you are a veggin would you bother to
    raise domestic animals. They are of no earthly good except as food. They will simply become extinct, somewhat like people with common sense.

  21. Didn’t there use to be a nut job group called the United Poultry Concern that was taking in all kinds of money to protest the use of chickens as food. Then one day a Talk Show host discovered they were just a crazy old hippy woman living in a house with about a hundred chickens, and her boyfriend.
    Maybe the writer is that old dried out prune trying to become relevant again?

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