WASHINGTON (AP) – After months of careful deliberation, presumptive Democrat Party presidential nominee Barack Obama today announced the identity of his vice-presidential running mate – an American Flag. The announcement comes amidst – and possibly in response to – recent attacks by Republican candidate John McCain, who has repeatedly questioned the patriotism of Mr. Obama.
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“People – and I use the term loosely, since I mean ‘Republicans’ – have questioned my patriotism for months,” said Obama at today’s press conference. “They accused me of not loving my country because I wouldn’t wear an American Flag lapel pin. Truth is, I didn’t wear it for the same reason John McCain doesn’t wear a Mitt Romney lapel pin. I didn’t want to give away my choice for Vice President.”
“The American Flag and I enjoy a close personal relationship,” said Obama, “very casual, very comfortable. Neither one of us feels compelled to make phony hand-over-heart gestures in each other’s presence. It’s a relationship where the mutual love and respect is just so well understood that it never needs to be spoken of in public.”
“You hear me, McCain?” shouted Obama, shaking his upraised fist, “I said NEVER!”
Although disappointed at not being chosen, Senator Joe Biden still praised Obama’s selection. “It’s no secret that Barack Obama has no military experience. On this issue an American Flag brings much needed balance to the ticket, having proudly served overseas in every war this country has fought. However, like Obama, it’s also very experienced at saying nothing intelligent while waving at crowds of foreigners.”
Still, not everyone approves of the selection. Bubba Gumperson, self-appointed “Town Bigot” of Hogeye, Arkansas, says that Obama’s veep choice won’t affect his vote. “Well, I ain’t votin’ for that colored fella, ’cause he’s half white & half black. I sure as HELL ain’t voting for the other colored fella – he’s half white, half red, and half blue. Besides, I hear both of them is half Muslim to boot.”
like Obama, it’s also very experienced at saying nothing intelligent while waving at crowds of foreigners.”
Easily your best line. 😎
obama is just ‘not’ my choice. I pray American’s wake up!
Funny!
“I sure as HELL ain’t voting for the other colored fella – he’s half white, half red, and half blue.”
Yeah, Harvey, McCain is a pretty good Democrat. But as the choice draws near, the prospect of a Marxist as Commander in Chief and Chief Executive is enough to make me vote for him (McCain). At least he’s a “nationalist.”
Reality is setting in, folks.
#4 – Posted by: Jimmy on August 20, 2008 12:03 PM
Okay, but McCain had better not pick Lieberman, because I, for one, won’t even consider voting for Screw the Base ’08.
#4 – Posted by: Jimmy on August 20, 2008 12:03 PM
That was a reference to the flag, not McCain…
3/2 of different colors makes a Democrat? I don’t get it.
#5 – Posted by: MarkoMancuso on August 20, 2008 12:44 PM
isn’t the War on Terror just a tad more important than that?
Sorry for the double post, I didn’t think of it right away.
Well, Marko, as much as I detest the prospect of McCain / Lieberman, I’d still vote for him now. Obama has made it very clear that he intends to disarm the United States. At the rate that China and Russia are arming our enemies, Obama can not be allowed to win. For me, it comes down to this alone.
asdf: McCain is “white.” He’s a Republican (red) that acts like a Democrat (blue). You gotta think like Harvey!
I’m, ugh, probably going force myself to vote for McCain. Solely because Obama is such a radical. However, if McCain picks Lieberman or some other “Maverick”, the deal is off. That would just be McCain’s way of saying, “I don’t need you guys, so screw off!” There’s no way I could vote for a ticket like that without vomiting all over the ballot.
But I doubt even McCain is stupid enough to pick Lieberman, so this is all just speculation.
It’s simple. Obama would piss himself when facing Vladimir Putin, or any other marginally masculine foreign leader. He’s weak, and the world is drooling over the prospect of a president Obama. Scares the crap out of me.
McCain is our only choice this time around. Talk of VPs is only a distraction.
I’m John McCain and I have a long history of bi-partisan healing between the parties and of reaching across the aisle to get things done for the American people. It has come to my attention that my close personal friend Barack Obama has been falling in the polls recently and to remedy this situation I have decided to select Joe Lieberman for my VP. This shall heal the politics of personal destruction and help my good friend from across the aisle with whom I am proud to have served for many years in the United States Senate in the polls!
“It’s simple. Obama would piss himself when facing Vladimir Putin, or any other marginally masculine foreign leader. He’s weak, and the world is drooling over the prospect of a president Obama. Scares the crap out of me.”
Well put PaleoMedic, you know if Jesse J wanted his (Obamas) nuts/balls all he would have had to do is ask Michelle to open her purse, she carries them for him…..
Hey! That’s an obvious Photoshop! That flag’s supposed to be upside down!!!
John John and Joe Joe.
Thus would complete the full Democratization of the Republican Party.
The alternative is President Barack Obama.
(pause)
Choice of bad news?
Look at it this way: the bad news has already happened. We can’t throw our country away because we’re mad.
And God knows, we’re mad.
We need time to rebuild…
You are correct, Jimmy! I’m going to go into the voting booth this fall and throw up a little in my mouth as I vote for John McAmnesty knowing that he has told all of us conservatives many times over the years to go F ourselves!
We need time to rebuild…
#14 – Posted by: Jimmy on August 20, 2008 02:30 PM
And form commando groups.
Well, I’m taking in a full-size grocery sack after drinking a case of beer first, ussjc (as opposed to a measly airsick bag). But I’m gonna do it! Clothespin on my nose, butt cover tied around my waist, walking sideways step-by-step while kicking and screaming…
Oh gawd, don’t get me started! (too late)
🙂 Marko
I have a “favorites” group setup on my IPOD that includes stuff from Miles Davis, Weather Report, Johnny Cash, Trisha Yearwood and The Moody Blues. One of the songs I’ve placed on the list that I just listened to is “Mansions Of The Lord” by the US Military Academy Glee Club. I cannot see Barack Obama as Commander In Chief…EVER!!!
Mansions of the Lord
Thanks, patriot.
News Flash! The Flag just told NOBama to F Off!
“I never agreed to be that Commie SOB’s running mate. He used a fake stand in flag instead of me. He wanted me to drop the stars n’ stripes in favor of a hammer and sycle, or what ever that damn Commie thing is. No way, I said, you can F Off, you asshat!”
Thank God the Flag of The United States of America has some sense!
Thanks, Jimmy! I’m always in tears when I hear this song!
In all seriousness it really makes you wonder, since he cleary hates our flag, which flag would he wear if he had the choice?
I’ve listened to it 6 times since posting the link. I had forgotten it.
I have a son serving as a pilot in the US Army. And I pray I never have to sing this song for him.
To all who have served…
All I have to say is that all of you people voting for McCain are out of your minds. Look at our economy people…if McCain is president we will be standing in soup lines before you know it…we will have nothing. Also, our troops will never come home if it’s up to him. Basically, we will have a puppet for Bush up there leading our country. At least Obama wants change and has a plan, McCain doesn’t.
Oh my goodness. Do you live on the same planet that I do? Have you listened to “your messiah” lately? He has NO plan! Nope not a clue, except tax the rich-translation anyone who has a job, and give to the poor-anyone who refuses to work and votes Democrat.
After two years in control of the Congress the county is falling apart. Why? Because business is what powers the economy. When businesses fail people lose their jobs, sell their homes, can’t buy food, cars, clothes, electronics et al. Then more people lose their jobs. If no one is buying anything and nobody owns anything tax revenues go ……wait for it……….. DOWN.
The government then doesn’t have the funds to pay it’s workers, more people get laid off and the spiral deepens.
That my friends is why socialism and communism will NEVER work. Are there greedy morons who refuse to look at the long term? Absolutely. Are all business men like that? Of course not. Demoncrats have been beating that horse so long that it doesn’t even stink anymore.
Obama is a flake, a poser, a fool and a racist. He’s already shown that he isn’t interested in change. Just politics as usual. Just ask Bill Ayers or the librarians protecting him. But what’s a little censorship between friends eh.
Put down the Kool-ade and back away slowly.
Bama got a plan? No Shit? Since when? Only thing I’ve seen are statements.. no plan of action. A plan would note a course of action designed to go from one point to another. You know a specific set of steps to reach a conclusion? The only thing I’ve seen is rhetoric about “wealth redistribution” nationalization of a industry(ies) and some other happy crappy about how things “should be”. No plan. No course of action.
All right, the cat’s out of the bag. But you are mistaken.
Senator Biden is my obvious choice, because the punk peeing in the pool needs a lifeguard and everyone knows it.
Now, I haven’t had much sleep in the last 42 years, so I deserve all the slack you should give me, and all the lies the mainstream stooge media can fling like a monkey at the zoo.
So I’m claiming Affirmative Action for the dream job above my pay grade. And wartime along with increasing Russian threats of impending nuclear attacks against an ally of ours is no excuse for the American people to deny ME what history demands: the extinction of the human race.
Didn’t Harvey recently turn 42?
I’m in love with #26. 🙂
http://my.barackobama.com/page/content/callquestions/
So anyone know the legality of straying from the phone script? This seems like it could be more interesting than the WEtard mails. Might require getting a prepaid cell phone though. BUT dont want to advocate or do anything illegal.
“I am calling on behalf of Barrack Obama, vote for change and hope to kill whitey.”
While at West Point I had the pleasure of hearing the Glee Club perform on several occasions, and I can honestly say that just about everything they sang imparted the same feeling as “Mansions.” And, as I just found out, the song was also performed at Reagan’s funeral. Thanks for that link.
The feeling is mutual, Jimmy boyo. Of course the sweet spouse is always first in my affection but there is always room in an Irish mothers heart for one more. You’ll be in excellent company, 6 kids, 3 children in law, 4 grandkids, one golden retriever and the most amazing mother in law. I am well and truly blessed ……
and Osamabama is still walking proof that private education is no guarantee of intelligence.
So, get to writin’, you Celtic master! You got lots to say, Irish girl. It’s proper seein’ that “seanmahair” in blue.
We need time to rebuild…
#14 – Posted by: Jimmy
And form commando groups.
#16 – Posted by: MarkoMancuso
#16 Are you saying we should go commando? 😉
#26 That post needs to be read by every single voter. Seriously.
Elizabeth,
Of course Dumbama wants change. He wants to change this from a great country to another hell-hole failed socialist state. The guy is a commie piece of garbage, has no esperience, hates America, is incoherent and stupid when he has to talk on his own instead of a prepared statement. He associates with the worst anti-American slime. You must have drunk a whole gallon of Yobama Kool-Aid (like all the YObama-bots) to believe this son of the corrupt Democrat Chicago machine is anything but what he really is, The Big Zero. The more I learn about him, the more I oppose him.
I’d even vote for Hillary over this idiot, and I’d rather be boiled alive than vote for Shrillary.
McCain hasn’t named his VP choice yet. I nominate Seanmahair!
I once suggested she should write his speeches; after this last week I suspect that she is!
At least he’s been reading her posts and stealing her ideas!
seanmahair! seanmahair! seanmahair! seanmahair!
#34- That was a truly kind remark, thank you.
But I really don’t want to picture any of the candidates going commando, yucky 😉
#36
If I was anyway involved with McCain’s campaign he’d be a lot closer to his base and a lot farther from the left. However since I am of the same belief system as Mitt, who some think is the devil incarnate, I doubt there’d be a place for me at the Conservative “religious” table.
After Mitts experience, politics is the last thing I’d ever consider….. but hey I’m not bitter, however I am Irish, so ………
Rather unbelievably he picked Joe “Public Hair Transplant” Biden.
No its not a comb-over from your crotch to his head….its a transplant.
So if he gets head lice does he need to put on the blue ointment to the crabs dissappointment?