Joe the Plumber was busy working under a kitchen sink, which is why he didn’t hear someone come up behind him. He was slammed in the back with a pipe wrench, leaving him crying in pain as he looked up at his attacker: Barack Obama.
“You made one mistake, Joe,” Obama said. “You made too much money.”
“I’m just trying to expand my business.” Joe lay on the floor, clutching his back. “I was just hoping to–”
Obama kicked him. “I don’t care! It’s my money now! Give it to me!”
Joe pulled out his wallet and Obama greedily snatched it away and looked through it. He then kicked Joe again. “There’s not enough in there!”
“What’s going on?” The owner of the house stood at the kitchen’s door, looking shocked at the scene in front of her.
“This doesn’t concern you!” Obama shouted at her.
“Should I call the police?” she asked.
Obama ripped the kitchen phone out of the wall. “You’re not calling anyone, bitch! Now what were you going to pay him?”
“Hey, leave her alone!” Joe pleaded. “This is about me!”
“Shut the @#$% up!” Obama shouted back. He then waved his pipe wrench at the woman. “Write the check out to me! Do it! Do it now!”
The woman broke down crying as she pulled out her checkbook.
Obama walked back over to Joe. “This is why I have nothing but disdain for women.”
“What do you want?” Joe asked desperately.
“I just want to help everybody, Joe.” Obama knelt down and smiled. “Just trying to spread the wealth around. But @#$% like you got to make this difficult. Here’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to take your cell phone, call your banks, and wire $40,000 to me. If you don’t, I’m going to raise your taxes even more by making you lose your Child Tax Credit. And know how I’m going to do that? BY @#$% KILLING YOUR FAMILY!!!!”
The screen turned off and Obama turned to the press. “And that was the dramatization of my new tax plan. Any questions?”
“Why are you so awesome?” a reporter squealed with glee.
“It’s hard.” Obama bowed his head sadly. “Especially when FOX News allows critical things about me to be said.”
“Awww, poor Obama,” the press said. “Everyone is against him.”
“Let’s only write positive things about him and negative things about McCain!” one reporter said.
Another reporter looked confused. “Um… I thought we were already doing that.”
And I thought IMAO was a satirical blog????
You shouldn’t just plagurize news stories like that. .. what? It didn’t happen? … oh.. sort of did? .. hmm.. seems like it did…I was so sure I read this on AP or something…
Bravo. Joe the Plumber is a whiny little b@!$#. In the commercial, at least.
Now Frank, this is in no way accurrate. In real life, Joe knows his way around a pipe wrench (and “a few rifles,” according to one interview I read). I doubt Obambi would be left standing for long.
But in Obama’s world, yeah, that pretty much sums it up.
Man, we know he’s just going to spend that money on Crack anyway. Probably the same stuff that he’s been giving Urinalists, I mean Journalists, to keep them dumb, blind and addicted to Dumbo the Candidate.
Yeesh. And I woke up in a good mood this morning. That lasted about an hour. Thanks, conservative bloggers. Time to Irish up my morning coffee.
I had a wierd dream last night:
The great nation falls under the leadership of the Nubian prince
His minions desecrate the sacred scrolls of the republic
The unbelievers are forced from their homes while the living envy the dead
Anyone know what it means?
When did Frank start writing non-fiction?
If you want to talk plagarism, talk to the candidate that plagarized Neil Kinnock’s speech.
Yeah –
“Joe the Plumber” will be on Huckabee this Saturday night –
Maybe we can ask him how he REALY feels about redistribution of his wealth or lack thereof
I can see it now on SNL – Joe the plumber scenes are being made as we speak!
What? Huckabee really got his own show? Thats awful! I thought they fed him to the pigs.
My sides hurt, I’m laughing so hard!!!!!!!!!!
In the Ladder of Success Obama just wants to pull out the middle 5 to 10 rungs.
More Crack for Crackheads !
Yes We Can !!
By the way, the libs are already trying to dig up all they can on Joe the Plumber. How sad is it that they’re worried about investigating a random guy who asked a question of a presidential candidate, but they can’t be bothered with looking into said presidential candidate’s past? I know I shouldn’t be amazed, but dammit, that’s sickening.
Can I vote for Joe the Plumber and Sara Palin?
The democrats have hated all plumbers since 1972. Remember, it was plumbers that broke into their holy chambers in the Watergate Hotel. I suspect they are trying to prove that there are fewer than 25 degrees of separation between Joe and Karl Rove. If they can prove this association, Joe will have to be eliminated. He doesn’t even have to have launched a political campaign from Karl’s Kitchen.
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Double plus good. I pity anyone that thinks this is just fiction.
Obama is a communist trying to be the president of the United States of America! Why the hell isn’t he dead yet?!
🙁
You think Obama can swing a pipe wrench hard enough to make Joe cry?
Where’d that idea come from?
The attempt to destroy “Joe the Plumber” is typical of the Stalinist tactics of the left, a.ka., the democratic party, aided an abetted by the MSM and the Koskids. If you do not vote for Obama – you must be a “racist.” If you stand up and point out the obvious – that “spreading the wealth around” leads to less wealth and opportunity overall – they try to discredit you.
Now, Stalinists would call you a “wrecker” or a “fascist” and spread horrible rumors about you. You were an enemy of the party and needed to be destroyed. What the MSM and left wing blogosphere is doing to a guy like Joe – It is the same damn thing. And it is happening here. Really, what lesson does your average citizen watching the media show trial learn. Never speak up. Never tell the truth. Because if you do, they will destroy you. First amendment be damned. That’s were it always starts. Making people afraid to stand up and speak.
If Obama wins – it is just going to get worse. Now, for us IMAO reader types the first reaction is “Ok, someday they’ll want to come and take me a way to be ‘re-educated. Well, you know, I have a 00 buckshot solution to that problem.” But when you consider what happens when you become an “enemy” of party, and soon to be the State, this Nov. 4: pilloried in public, slandered, declared persona non-grata, etc. – to stand up to that type of attack requires a degree of moral courage that is harder to come by then the “let the bastards come” variety. It is a possibility that all us – especially a guy like Frank J. – whose website is clearly anethema to the fascist zeitgeist – will be dealing with. But if not stopped, and stood up to, well, we know where it ends. Just hope I have the strength when the time comes.
Joe the Plumber is the canary in the coal mine. Actually, when you consider all the stuff going on – we have a canary genocide on our hands. BuddaBoom..Crash. Anyway,perhaps this is just conservative hyperventilating – and its not that bad, but, no joke, I sense a great disturbance in the force.
Do you actually think The One would use profanity, such as @#$%!? I thought he was clean, bright, and articulate. Maybe you’re ‘xaggerating again Frankie.
You forgot this part at last
Barack Obama “I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.”
The truth is merely a tactic for democrats, and an evil one at that.
Oaths? Blah blah blah. They have the schools and tell you what to think. They are taking the banks and they will tell you what you have.
They want the hospitals so they can tell you when to die.
Every properly diversified portfolio should include shotguns and canned goods.
The Trading With Enemies Act passed by Woodrow Wilson [D] was amended by FDR [D] to include American citizens, which is why you need a license to start a business or go fishing. THE GOVERNMENT EQUATES THE AMERICAN PEOPLE WITH ENEMIES OF OUR COUNTRY !!!!!
Sounds like Parker Griffith [D] from Alabama running for Congress RIGHT NOW.
Hate is a waste of energy, but survival is not.
This is supposed to be funny but it is actually an accurate analogue to the essentially violent nature of taxation. The left thinks violence is relegated to those holding guns.
Depends on what your definition of “Constitution of the United States” is, doesn’t it?
When you hold a mental reservation that the document, as written and as currently interpreted, is evil, then you are free to act as you please in preserving, protecting and defending it.
Or maybe you just make life simpler by not giving a damn about the oath after you’ve taken it. It’s not as though the congress that the Kool Aid drinkers elect to go with you will do anything about your malfeasance.
Another check for your survival lists:
An enemies list.
When the hopeless depression of being forced to slave for an oppressive totalitarian dictatorship becomes more than you can bear, find that list and take as many of the people on it as possible with you when you go.*
Make the list now, while you’re still sane. (Then hide it deep.)
Suggested criteria:
1. They need killin’!
2. Objectively provable that the world will be a better place without them. (as a public service).
3. You can Actually get to them. (no celebrities, billionaires, or politicians – unless you’re already a member of their staff).
4. They drive around with their windows rolled down and playing their music Too D*mn Loud!
*Since suicide is a mortal sin already, murder can’t make you anymore damned.
No 72 virgins or field-trips to Fiddlers’ Green however,
(Maybe Valhalla – if you can speak Norwiegan, Swedish, or Danish),
so you’ll have to be Really depressed before this seems like a good idea.
I’m just saying.
It’s disturbing that Frank’s world and ours are becoming so similar.
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The efforts of the illuminati are at it again! Not even the power of the media can control the thinking minds of the people! I admit we are exposed to lot of fools but truth and justice will surface. Cream always rises to the top!