Hurray,
We have a new president, and let me tell you, out of all the possible choices, this amazing man would have been my fourth overall pick. Maybe my fifth. Are we allowed to vote for None of the Above?
But since I’ve been watching TV now for a few days and Ashton Kutcher hasn’t popped up in my living room, I’m going to assume that I am NOT undergoing some practical joke or some acid trip. I will assume that somehow America, in it’s pet rock loving, chia pet giving , ginsu knife loving, bamboo bowl ordering, NASCAR watching (sorry) glory has decided that this man will now be leading one of the most powerful countries in the history of the world.
I’m not bitter.
If anything, the Duck has been reawakened. Where I once slumbered and didn’t care while President Bush tried to get through a whole press conference by reading his TelePromTer with all the words spelled FON-E-Tic-ALLEE (Really Ashton, where are you?) i sat by and didn’t care. I let others make the jokes because I just didn’t have it in me.
No more.
So let’s talk about President Elect Obama, from the Office of the President Elect.
The Obamas spent a part of today interviewing at a school for their daughters. it was tough for Barack. It was the first time in two years that anybody really asked him any tough questions. The good news is that the school in question will now be teaching the two first daughters. The bad news, the school will no longer be allowed to attend any press conferences.
So now the school is like Fox News, except the President Elect acknowledges the existence of the school.
The first press conference went great if you ask me. He said he consulted with all the living presidents. See, he’s from the Chicago political machine where the dead are still active in the community. Especially during elections. Anyway, he got in this quip about Nancy Reagan and how she used to hold seances with past presidents. HA HA. This was his B material. Otherwise he would have said something classy like “I know people really loved Reagan, so I went and danced on his bones to get a feeling for his vibe.” HA HA. Well, i guess it’s all in HOW you say the joke.
Anyway, Barry apologized and now all is good. Great first press conference. His entire staff was there including Rahm his new chief of staff. Rahm was quoted as saying “I will work hard to cut off the Republicans’ heads and S@#t down their throats.” Which, when translated by President Elect Obama meant, “I will work in the spirit of bipartisanship to forge a new Washington and reach across the aisle to serve America in this time of need.”
Also, a bunch of foreign leaders called him to congratulate him and tell him that America has FIFTY states. ironically, that’s also how foreign leaders start their conversations with Dubya.
Anything else happening?
Lots
I’ll be sure to keep you informed.
ahhh that’s better. It’s about d*mn time, Ducky!
Awesome post, just awesome.
Very gracious as well. I thought it was very big of you to suggest PEBO would have been in your top five choices.
How anti-climactic to see him as the president-elect, still acting like a campaigner. He even said what he will do “as president of the United States”… sheesh, at this point he could just say “as president” dontcha think? Cheesey look & feel to the press conference. The dude is ego-trippin’. His presidency is gonna be a joke for sure.
Too bad the joke’s on us and the rest of the free world.
We are now over the rainbow. Obama, Pelosi & Reid, oh my!
I too have been motivated from my stupor of ennui to comment humorously on the ongoing of presidential affairs.
It brings to mind the question, if you could go back in time, and kill Hitler, would you really do so, knowing that you would in so doing destroy the perfect caricature of a humorlous German authoritarian which has since supplied Monty Python and countless others with comedic gold?
Yes, I did just compare Obama to Hitler… but in a good way!
The Press was likening him and Michele to John and Jackie Kennedy. That is when I threw a fit and told my husband that he is never again to have it on any of the Communist news networks(CNN NBC CBS ) And then I saw the humor in it and said I wonder how many women he’s sleeping with. OMG, He’ll be worse than Billy Bob Clinton!!!!
You know what’s going to be fun? Watching the Obama cultists come to the realization that their hero is a flabby wimp and nothing but hot air. It will be like when they realized there really is no Santa Claus. Wait, they do know there is no Santa Claus, right?
Don’t worry Ducky, revel in the schadenfreude.
Let’s see…right out of the box this twerp takes a shot at an 87 year old widowed First Lady? Yup…Hail To The Chief…in deed…
In case your looking in my local paper this AM. Browning Cynergy 12 gage, new $1800. Desert Eagle .50Ae $850. Mossberg 300 Win Mag New $600. Center Arms 22-250, special trigger, 3-9 scope, shells $575. S & W Model 19 Combat magnum 357 6″ $350. (Good buy). S & W model 586 357 nickle, 6″ mint $500. Sig Sauer p229 40 cal xtra mag like new $700, AK-762-39 $750. Sks china (2) 30 round clips + accessories $350.
No background checks, no waiting period, no sales tax, no registration, no residency requirements. Just pay your money and go.
Only caveat: If you show up looking like a San Francisco queer with the nose rings, dirty hair and tatoos they will probably not sell you anything.
Idaho Spud, I was grateful to read your answer to Salamie’s question about living in Idaho, as I would like to leave nyc at some point possibly sooner than later, but haven’t the slightest idea of where to head or what to expect. Sounds real nice, especially how you can drive to all those places in l/2 a day and be around beautiful scenery without sighting any tall buildings.
Salamie, thank you for your encouragement, that felt good what you said !
Are we allowed to vote for None of the Above?
I know I did.
Bad Andy said:
revel in the schadenfreude.
That’s my plan for the next 8-10 years.
If they’re already comparing he and Michelle to JFK and Jackie, how long before they call his presidency the new Camelot?
I call it “Obamalot”, where they hate ham, and slam Uncle Sam alot.
Duckie!
Wonderful to see you back. And in such good form.
Everyone,
I was thinking about Rohm sending that dead fish to a pollster who annoyed him. I guess they were out of horse heads in Chicago-Mob-Tactics-R-Us-Mart. Then I was thinking – maybe one of our first acts at the Republican Underground should be to send a dead fish to Rohm at the White House on Inauguration Day. If they make a fuss about it to the media, well, where did we get the idea? If doing something that rude is acceptable enough to get you made White House Chief of Staff, why can’t we do it to him?
Possible outcomes:
1 – They realize that if they condemn it, they will effectively condemn Rohm, so they’ll have to shut up and take it.
2 – They are dumb enough to make a fuss in the media, everyone will get the joke but them.
3 – If they consider it some sort of threat and send the Secret Service to your door, call the police and have them escorted in and video tape the exchange. Post it on YouTube and send it to Bill O’Reilly. While they patiently explain why sending dead fish to the White House is bad, ask them why the White House Chief of Staff can do it, why can’t we? And if it gets you promoted to that position, maybe this is like sending a resume rather than a threat. Tell them it’s in the spirit of bipartisan unity in the opposite-land of the Obama White House. Mafia-style threat? NOooooooo. Love letter! Yep!
If they ask why you called the police, you just wanted to confirm they were not black panthers or Farrakhan fanatics in black suits and you wanted their credentials checked.
If you don’t want to send a real fish, send a plastic one with it’s eyes X-ed out, or a picture of one, but just send one! It may actually be best to do that, so that they can’t just sniff-test all the messages we send and leave them unopened.
Put this idea on other blogs. A few days after Inauguration Day, I hope a thousand dead fish are waiting in the White House post office. All with Rohm’s name on them. Don’t do anything before then because I don’t want the dead fish processed by Bush staffers. This is a message to Obama – you put a hyperpartisan hatchet-man in charge of your staff and pretend that you are bipartisan for the cameras. From that I can only assume you are planning to silence or “convert” everyone who opposes you. Game on, b**ch.
It’s been said that violence is the last refuge of the stupid. Personally, I think that honor belongs to the Huffington Post, but it does raise a good point. There are very clever, legal, funny ways to attack this administration that will pierce the Wizard of Oz curtain and reveal the little ineffectual man behind it. Shoot him and you have a martyr for generations and a prison sentence. Send a dead fish now, with other pranks to follow, and get him laughed out of office and reduce the democratic politburo and its rancid madhouse frothing hypocrisy to sniveling sound bites that will be mocked on late night TV and around early morning water coolers.
Unfortunately, Ashton isn’t always there, which I’m sure is a disappointment for those celebrities who are Punk’d, but suddenly realize that they’ve received the Punking from a paid extra and not the actual Ashton. I’m sure at that point, you must realize you may be a B-level celebrity, as Ashton always shows up to Punk the A-listers in person. Kind of a 2nd Punking if you ask me…but for real.
I’m hoping that now that the election is over FoxNews will actually go back to being the “Fair and Balance” network, instead of the “Let’s See How Far Left We Can Lean To Try To Impress The Leftards That We’re Really Fair and Balanced” network. Maybe then, they’ll stop breaking phony stories slamming Sarah Palin and stop gushing over what type of dog the Obamas are going to get. Interesting that there are suddenly “allergy” issues, which may create a problem with their daughters coming into contact with the dog…but, then again Muslims aren’t supposed to have dogs.
…Oh, and good to see Ducky back. I hope he’s replaced Cadet Happy, as Cadet would really fit in better at the Huffington Post.
IdahoSpud- I wish I wasn’t stuck here in CA, because instead of “No background checks, no waiting period, no sales tax, no registration, no residency requirements. Just pay your money and go”……we have background checks, a waiting period, sales tax, registration, residency requirements, you have to give blood, relinquish rights to your firstborn child, and sign up for a save the whales beach clean up day, all while swearing to never ever take your gun from the case at any time or for any reason. *sigh*
Mary Sunshine-You are not Stuck in CA. YOU are in control of your own destiny. Who decides that you stay in CA. Are you incarcerated? If not, Move.
Californians are moving here in droves. Why not you? Your whole family (the sane ones). Come on down or up, however you choose to look at it. Housing is down here like everywhere else so there are affordable choices. If you compare to what you are used to in CA it might appear to be free.
Mexicans are moving here. They don’ even speak english but they seem to survive. I would just as soon see the state fill up with conservatives as some of what are coming now.
Besides, with the growth in population new services are required and services that were not available are becoming practical. The wages are not going to be what they are in CA but it doesn’t cost as much to live. I do hear Californians complain about health benefits not being what they were back in the socialist republic but, self reliance has a value over living in a nanny state that could be priceless.
What skills do you have. Is whatever you do only valuable in CA or could it be done in Idaho. If not, start something. I sell insurance, (please no comment), but I am self employed, work out of my home and have done so for years. If I ddn’t sell insurance I might start cleaning houses. OK, that might not sound exotic but most who do it find themselves so busy that before long, you get help. Pretty soon you are just scheduling. I happen to be really good at windows.
That’s not the most inspiring thing to offer. Yay!!! I’m going to Idaho to clean houses. People pay 15-20 bucks an hour for it which is double the usual Fred Meyer or Target type wage. For all I know you are a court reporter or do medical transcriiption. I’m sure you could do something.
Can you imagine not looking at a true hippie in only one in a thousand population.
Conservatives to Idaho!!! Home of the last stand.
We won’t be moving to ID anytime soon, unfortunately. I live in communist WA and we’ll be moving to CA soon to be near and help take care of hubby’s grandparents.
Idaho – my husband’s an engineer. He works for a company in RI but is based here in San Diego. He’s seriously going to look into it (whether or not he could transfer/find work there). I was glad to hear homeschooling freedoms are alive and well there. I’ve homeschooled all my kids since kindergarten (my oldest is in 6th grade this year). So that’s super impt. to us. So is church, but I’m not worried about finding a good one. And yeah you were right about the houses – my husband looked some up (I forget where) and it looks like we can get MUCH more house for our $. In fact, we could probably pay cash after we sell this one (they are crazy inflated over here – even in this stinky market).
Thanks for all the info. I appreciate it. I honestly would not know what to do with myself if I didn’t have to clash with liberals every day! Sigh. Sounds a bit like Heaven!
Oh and Island Girl – you’re welcome! I love how you called me “salamie” – hahaha – yum!
Ducky and spacemonkey are posting. Good times for IMAO.
This is golden. Someone needs to put you on Fox News so I can stop wanting to vomit every time they say “Presiden-Elect Obama.” You’d knock him down a few pegs.
Well, that’s just ducky!
Idaho spud; be careful how many Californians you invite to Idaho! I am from Oregon originally and watch that state leave more conservative roots of the rural areas and become way left after a 20 year influx of Californians. I moved to Nevada 10 years ago. There has always been a lot of Californians and Chicagoans here, but there is still a wild west attitude, of the old timers. Now the state has gone blue.
Obviously everyone here is a friend, just make sure you check credentials before letting more in 😉
Shouldn’t “Rohm” be spelled with an “e”? Or am I confusing my shirt colors again?
I am both a Chicagoan and Californian and have never had a liberal bone in my body despite the indoctrination attempts of my ultra-liberal college. This is just a theory of course – but I think the natives here in CA are the ones who lean mostly in that direction. There are so many folks from all over the country here and that seems to be what I’ve found. In Chicago, however, no one was from anywhere else so it basically came down to how you were raised. My husband and I are from the same exact neighborhood in Chicago – his family is a union family so votes Democrat without fail. They are liberals with a capital “L”. My Dad joined the Army, worked his tail off despite having no formal education, and became a small business owner. Needless to say they were die-hard Republicans. The differences in our families were dramatic. His family didn’t even own an American flag. My Dad hung ours without fail, even when he was in a wheelchair and could barely walk. I will never forget that. Nor will I forget my Dad carrying a gun in his sock! I’d ask, “What’s that Dad?” and he’d say, “Nothing you need to worry your little head over.” Thankfully my husband and I met very young so it wasn’t hard bringing him over to “my” side – hahaha. His love of guns made it easy, too!
Okay, my husband points out that I had nothing to do with it – he was just “smarter” than his folks – hahahaha.
I particularly like the “HA HA” usage in there, ducky. In a monotone sort of way.
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gravatar check please and thank you!!!