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NEW YORK (AP) – A new name has been proposed as the replacement for Senator Hillary Clinton: Fluffy Kennedy.
Fluffy Kennedy is the heavily spoiled Kennedy family dog, and supporters of his appointment say making him Senator will be a great way to honor the legacy of John F. Kennedy. “In an era where empty hope has won over,” said one supporter, “shouldn’t we also indulge pointless nostalgia? JFK was a great president in how he said inspiring things and was killed. I think Fluffy Kennedy will give us back a piece of that greatness.”
Senator Ted Kennedy also supports the appointment. “Fluffy deserves the Senate seat. He’s from the Kennedy line, and he is a pure bred dog. He only has ever ate the finest foods, and unlike commoners, his life has not been marred by hard work or having a job. Who else can you name who would make a better Senator? Certainly not anyone named Kennedy.”
Republicans have generally been against the appointment. “I swear, the Democrats are all retarded,” said one Republican. “Super retarded, that is. They should literally be wearing helmets at all times to prevent them from injuring their heads that contain their pea-sized brains. Yeah, that’s exactly what the Senate needs: an inbred miniature collie. Still, he’s a better choice than Caroline Kennedy.”