Help Frank Buy New Laptop

I want to buy a new laptop, but it’s been a while since I’ve been in the market for a computer so I decided to ask you, my readers, for advice. I want it to be light and not prone to overheating as I’ll be using it mainly as a net-surfing and blogging laptop (and maybe programming). I would like to be able to play games on it if possible (but the be able to play the most modern games on a laptop seems to mean having a GPU with dedicated memory which means it will be much more expensive, heavier, and it runs hotter). Anyway, I’m hoping to spend under a thousand (well-under, actually), and extra points if it’s available at Best Buy since I have a couple hundred on a gift card for them (though would it still be cheaper to get it from a place like NewEgg.com?).

Oh, and does anyone know how much of the cost of the laptop I can deduct from taxes since I’ll be using it a lot for blogging (a home business) and occasionally working my day job from home?

Thanks for any help.

UPDATE:

Wow. Lot of advice. Okay, let’s be more specific. How is this computer? Probably won’t run the newest shooters, but otherwise seems decent. What say you?

A Story Bit-By-Bit
Hellbender: Chapter 43 – Action Hero

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“She’s still alive and on the fifth floor.” Bryce rushed down a hallway, hand to his earpiece. “But she’s under fire.”

Lulu led the way. “Remember: A lot of people are shooting at each other, but very few specifically want us dead. So, if we’re not all trigger happy, maybe most people will leave us alone. So let’s be regular happy.”

“Anyone get in my way, I’m fighting back,” Doug said.

“So we saw.” Bryce took a glance behind them. “Let’s not be bloodthirsty, though. Bloodthirsty gets you killed.”

The building rocked from a few more blasts outside and they could hear gunfire nearby. They headed down a stairwell and there were dead bodies lying by the fifth floor exit. “Always encouraging.” Lulu took a rifle off one while Bryce kept his pistol in one hand and the metal case in the other. He tried to inch the door open to get a look outside, but Doug didn’t have the patience. He threw the door open and marched into the hallway.

At the end of the hallway stood Lara holding a pistol. “Hey, if it isn’t the man of the hour.”

Doug pointed his rifle at her. “Where’s Charlene?”

Lara dropped her gun and raised her hands. “Do you mean physically or metaphysically?”

Doug slowly approached. “I don’t know what that means.”

“That’s okay; I was just saying it to distract you a few moment longer.”

Out of the rooms around him came a five more of Elza’s forces, all holding rifles. Doug glanced behind him and they had already surrounded Bryce and Lulu. Another was holding Charlene with a gun to her head.

“Great job, action hero,” Bryce said as he dropped his gun.

It pained Doug to give in again having just won his freedom, but he didn’t see any other choice and dropped his rifle. Lara picked back up her gun. “Good boy.”

They moved Lulu and Bryce towards him and tossed Charlene to him. She had a bloody wound on her arm. “You okay?” Doug asked her.

She looked the most distressed by the situation. “I’m sorry.”

Doug carefully put his arm around her so as not to touch her wound. “I’m sorry I’m not more useful.”

“So… what now?” Lulu asked Lara.

Lara shrugged.

“Seriously,” Bryce said. “What possible reason do you people have for making all this effort to just jerk us around?”

Lara laughed. “It’s because we’re all insane and devoted to… what’s her name.” Lara pulled out the bunny cube from a pouch. “It’s all stuff above your head. You’re only going to make things even worse trying to place reason behind it all.”

Doug stood up to her. “If you hurt my friends, I will kill you!”

She smiled. “I thought you would have figured out by now that death doesn’t really scare us.”

“Then I’ll find something that does scare you and do that to you!”

Lara chuckled and put away the cube. “I’m starting to like you.” She noticed the metal case Bryce was still holding. “What’s in that?”

“Can’t we have secrets?”

Lara smiled. “There’s little left in this world that would surprise me.”

“Drop you weapons and let them go!” Everyone looked down the hallway to see a dozen scraggly looking people holding rifles.

Now Lara’s smile went away. “What the hell?”

“Hellbender!” Chimezie announced.

Bryce dove to the ground, bringing the others with him. “Just shoot them!”

Gun fire erupted, and Doug could see a couple of Elza’s forces drop. He still had his sword on him, and quickly drew it and cut through one of the enemy. Lulu was grappling with Lara, but Lara struck her in the face with her elbow knocking her off of her. Doug went to cut her down, but caught a foot to his face. Lara fled towards a side hallway with two others. Charlene grabbed a rifle, shooting at them and gunning down one as Lara and the other got away.

Doug noticed a scary amount of determination in Bryce’s eyes as he stared where Lara had fled. “Bloodthirsty get you killed,” Doug reminded him.

“Not bloodthirsty; just have a few questions.” He handed the metal case to Doug and was off.

NEXT

Why Not Pick Caroline Kennedy to Head the CIA?

So what’s it with Leon Panetta as head of the CIA? I guess anyone who even has enough intelligence experience to know what CIA stands for is tangentially related to Bush’s policy (read: “pro-torture”), and Obama wanted to pick someone the left wouldn’t whine about.

Little tip for Obama: The left will always whine if you’re being practical. That’s what they do; they complain about reality and throw a tantrum until someone changes it. It’s best to just get used to the whining if you don’t want to be a complete failure.

You can also punch them in the nads, because the sound they’ll make from that isn’t anymore annoying than the whining. That another free tip from me to you; I’m being bi-partisan.

Two Americas

I have this neat idea. I think I’ll have to work on it and expand it and you can help out, but here’s what I got so far. Anyway, this idea, like all great ideas, comes from John Edwards: What if we had two Americas?

Hear me out: Now we conservatives all want freedom, and there is no other country in the world even close to the freedom of America. That’s why we get so angry at liberals; they try to screw that up even though there are plenty of crappy socialist, nanny-state countries already. They look down on patriotism, so why don’t they leave America? Because they’re lazy, and deep down they don’t want to be away from the protections of the USA.

The thing is, the sissies who want the government to take care of their worthless selves screw things up for those of us who want freedom and the government to leave us alone, but we can’t get rid of those sissies. So that’s where the two Americas come in.

See, we’ll have one America where it’s super difficult to pass any laws and especially any taxes and a second America where liberals can have all the government programs and crap they want. They’ll both be protected by the same military, but otherwise they shall not interfere with each other. We can call the two Sissy America and Free America. I’m not sure of how we’ll parse that out geographically, but make sure to include Idaho in Free America because I don’t want to have to move.

I think this is a workable idea. Liberals can keep all their goofiness; they just have to geographically confine it. Conservatives can then get their bubble of freedom in this world to do what they want and liberals don’t have to be scared that nasty freedom will hurt them. We’ll all still be Americans. Yay!

So what if liberals can’t keep enough business in sissy America to support all their government programs? That’s the thing; we don’t have to care. That’s their problem. They can’t take our money to do it. If they try, they need to remember we have lax gun laws. Try to make all your money making movies and drawing pictures and whatever the hell liberals do and leave us alone; we have real work to do, suckas!

So how would we draw this up? I guess we can just make most of both the coasts Sissy America; that’s probably easiest for everyone. And the Sissy Senators of the Sissy States will have to have a separate Sissy meetings to discuss Sissy laws. The Senators and Representatives from the Free States probably won’t have enough to do to make it a full time job; maybe then we can elect people who do real work instead of just lawyers.

I think this is an excellent idea with a lot of possibilities. I’ll have to keep thinking on it and draw up an official proposal. Maybe even liberals will like the idea of not having us conservatives block them and we can get them on board. Then we have a movement.

Harry Reid, War Hero

Harry Reid is apparently now taking credit for helping win the war. So by doing stuff like this, he was actually helping. By calling Petraeus a liar who couldn’t be trusted, he was supporting him. Wow; glad we got Reid on our side then.

Really, though, Reid could show up to the Capitol without pants and he wouldn’t be anymore of an embarrassment.

lolterizt! Part 72

This week terrorists, next week That One. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com

Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.

NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.



From William:

From G Fresh:

[reference link]

From Neil:

From Jason:


Some submissions for last edition’s uncaptioned picture:

From Big EZ:

From JumpOut of You Should Be Tasered:

From Steve:

From Fast Eddie:


This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:


PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolterizt! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

HAT TIP: Snapped Shot for handy links to ripe-for-captioning photos.

Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

The Cipher

I saw this article in the Guardian (Europe liberal beats American liberal in distance from reality), and apparently people still see Obama as a blank cipher. In it, the author argues that Obama needs to weigh in on the current conflict in Israel, somehow believing Obama is going to have a radically different policy and really work to help the po’ harmless Palestinians from those mean ole’ Jews. That’s why things are going to go downhill for Obama quickly when he takes office; his biggest appeal was that everyone who wanted to could project all their hopes and dreams on to him, but as president he’s going to have to make actual decision and do actual things and the blank cipher will be no more. Just think of all the whining by the left-wing over Rick Warren; what happens when Obama actually makes a decision on something substantial?

Oh yeah; they don’t care about substantial.

Anyway, I thought this line from the article was funny:

“Yet if Obama were to take a tougher (some would say more balanced) line with Israel, for example by demanding a permanent end to its blockade of Gaza, or by opening a path to talks with Hamas, he risks provoking a rightwing backlash in Israel, giving encouragement to Israel’s enemies, and losing support at home for little political advantage.”

Opening a path of talks with Hamas when Obama takes office? He already has a funny name; what are people going to think when they seen him using a ouija board?

So, can my crack dealer make change?

Ran into a situation Monday.

It actually began Friday, when I received a $100 bill as part of a transaction.

The C-Note sat in my wallet all weekend. Then, Monday, I went to Hardee’s for lunch.

They don’t take $100 bills. Fifties either, as it turns out, though I didn’t have one those, so…

Anyway, there I was, with legal tender (for all debts, public and private), and I couldn’t spend it.

As it turned out, they take credit cards. So, I broke out my Visa card, and paid the bill.

But that $100 bill? Useless. At Hardee’s. McDonald’s, too. As well as Wendy’s. And all the other places a cheapskate like me eats lunch.

So, I can’t use it for food.

I’m wondering if I should accuse Hardee’s of being racist. I’m not sure why. It just seems the thing to do these days.