I’m pretty optimistic after last night’s episodes of 24. SarahK breaks them down for you.
It’s time for my predictions for 2009! And you know mine are going to be more accurate since I waited until we were a couple weeks into 2009 so I could get a feel for things.
FRANK PREDICTIONS FOR 2009
* Katie Couric gets another exclusive interview with Sarah Palin and as part of it goes out on a moose hunting trip with Governor. She is never heard from again.
* When Barack Obama is inaugurated, he wows his supporters by walking on water across the reflecting pool and healing the sick with his mere touch. This fails to have any positive effect on the economy.
* Housing prices drop to the point that the average price is two for a dollar. No one takes advantage of the deal as they’re all unable to obtain financing.
* The Middle East runs out of oil. They try to supplement their economy by selling rocks and sharpened sticks.
* The economy is further hampered when Dick Cheney holds the world hostage from his new undisclosed location inside a hollowed out volcano.
* Temperatures will rise, defying all computer models of global warming.
* The Rick Warren prayer goes as bad as liberals fear, Rick Warren spending most of his prayer beating up gay people while Obama watches and laughs.
* Rod Blagojevich is thrown out of office and defiantly appoints his replacement: Rod Blagojevich.
* Nancy Pelosi’s skull finally escapes the face barely holding it back.
* Helped by the bailout money, the big three automakers work together to build a super car that is hailed by everyone for how it doesn’t always explode.
* Aliens invade and demand to be taken to our leader. When they see our leader is Obama, they’re so impressed they give us free candy.
* Israel is condemned by the world for whatever it is it’s currently doing.
* Iraq becomes a becomes a beacon of hope and democracy in the Middle East, but Obama panics when he gets his head stuck in a bucket while visiting the country and accidentally sets it on fire, screwing up everything once again. Oooobamaaaaa! ::shakes fist::
* Microsoft claims its Windows 7 will fix all the problems of Vista, but FEMA prepares just in case.
* So many companies receive a bailout that soon all the American people are forced to work in underground salt mines to keep failed businesses a float. That’s Obamanomics for you.
Remember to vote again today for Treacher. We want him to beat Jon Swift who replied to a previous post with:
After all I have done to keep this competition as civil as a presidential election, I am a little disappointed to see you launching this unprovoked attack on me and attempt to drag my good pseudonym through the mud. What happened to Ronald Reagan’s Eleventh Commandment: Thou shalt not speak ill of a fellow Republican blogger?
See, he’s really a conservative; isn’t that funny?
So who do you think would win in the a fight between Jack Bauer and Superman? I think that’s easy: Jack Bauer would pull a piece of Kryptonite out of his rucksack and beat Superman with it until he told him the location of the Fortress of Solitude. A harder question is who would win in a fight between Jack Bauer and Batman. Batman is like crazy prepared; he probably has some sort of anti-rucksack device on his belt for just such an occasion.
