I’ve been wanting to get back to trying to write a novel, and instead of trying to come up with a new idea, I’ve decide to try and expand out Superego into a novel since so many people seemed to like. I went back and read it, and there’s a lot of great stuff in it. I don’t even know where it came from – I think I just started it one day with no idea where it was going – but I think it had a good arc. It could use a lot of work though (hopefully a lot a lot of work since it needs to be about twice as long to be novel length) as I don’t think the tone was consistent and some parts seem silly now, but it has a real solid foundation.
Anywho, for those who were a fan of it, that’s what I’m going to be working on. Any suggestions on it (like what needs more expanding) would be appreciated.
Maybe I can fit a dinosaur with a rocket launcher on it in there somewhere…
I wasn’t here yet when you wrote that. I don’t want to read through all the archives. Someone summarize it for me!
At MarkoMancuso,
I agree with your point of view, and would support the implementation of your recommended action.
Content-wise, I seem to remember being largely satisfied.
Stylistically, well, usually there are problems that I just attribute to the nature of being written as blog posts. The flow often gets broken by unnecessary phrases, repetition, or words for which the references aren’t clear.
For instance, this is how I would edit your first part to the series (without make any serious additions to content):
http://pastebin.com/f106d06ef
One example is the sentence you wrote: “Vito, my instruction were to kill the purple alien with tentacles out of its head at the north most bar in Zertres, right?”
It’s decipherable, but it really breaks the pace as my natural language processors are caught up trying to decide whether ‘at the north most bar’ refers to the alien or the tentacles, and whether ‘in Zertres’ refers to any of the last three. (even though logically it has to)
If I write it like this “Vito, I’m at the northmost bar in Zertes. My instructions were to kill the purple alien with tentacles out of its head, right?” it flows soooooo much better.
Just saying this is something that Frank J. blogger should try to instill in Frank J. novelist. Having a third party edit it would probably be the best bet, since only they will be trying to parse your sentences from scratch.
[I’d definitely at least have my wife edit it before I’d try submitting it anywhere; she’s pretty good. Thanks for the critique. -Ed.
lazy bums
“One example is the sentence you wrote: “Vito, my instruction were to kill the purple alien with tentacles out of its head at the north most bar in Zertres, right?”
It’s decipherable, but it really breaks the pace as my natural language processors are caught up trying to decide whether ‘at the north most bar’ refers to the alien or the tentacles, and whether ‘in Zertres’ refers to any of the last three. (even though logically it has to)”
I think he was trying to make it unclear, as a commentary on post-modern philosophy.
Would they be real dinosaurs or alien dinosauroids? Or would they just be robots built in the shape of dinosaurs?
If real dinosaurs, would they be cloned back to life by Earth scientists or bred from stock abducted from Earth by aliens before they supposedly went extinct?
Would they simply be given nicely fitted harnesses mounted with rocket launchers and trained to use them, or given cybernetic enhancements that wire the rocket launchers directly to their brains and possibly conceal them inside replacement limbs?
Would the rockets be regular high explosives, nuclear, antimatter, or even nukular?
If the rockets are nuclear or nukular, could they be used on the Moon? If so, how would the dinosaurs breathe?
Finally! This is awesome. Superego is what got me hooked on this blog in the first place. To reiterate, awesome.
Frank, Superego was awesome. This coming from an avid science fiction reader. I does need editing and expansion. So what? You have the talent to hook people with a story line, after that it’s just a lot of hard work. You’re not afraid of hard work, are you?
Maybe someone else can do it. What’s Larry Niven’s e-mail address?
I think you should try to make it funny. Here and there, in various postings on this web site, I have noticed the faintest beginnings of the delicate touch of a modest sense of humor. The threads are tenuous, and not easily observed, but I, Socrates, have noticed them.
Obviously the effort toward comedy will add stress to the creative effort, but you may find energy in it once you break out of your sober, scholarly mold.
Do it, always liked that story.
Do you have a degree in psychology?
This is awsome news. I always thought Superego would make a great movie and have looked forward to a sequal. I’ll have to go back and read it but I remember thinking at the time there were a couple of opportunities for subplots that could fill it out a little.