My Pajamas Media column is up. Now that Obama has taken over the auto industry, I’ve got the specs for the new car he’s working on.
My Pajamas Media column is up. Now that Obama has taken over the auto industry, I’ve got the specs for the new car he’s working on.
As Laura Ingram has said, that one wants us to be roof sitters and drive clown cars. I wonder what the Guestapo, I mean “civillian security force” will say when I run over their clown car with my monster truck? Maybe Aiee, mucho destructo cavrone, soy lal al, blah blah pass the fried chicken beatch?
Excellent column, Frank.
Entirely too damn accurate. The sad thing is it could have been twice as long with no hint of running out of irony.
If I have to drive that clown thing kill me now! Other wise they can take my real car from me when they pry the steering wheel from my cold dead hands!!!!
When you honk the horn it plays “In a Yugo”.
Other than a few concerns, thanks for that fine article on B-ROC specifications, Frank. I’m likin’ that car. Have you considered submitting your article to Consumer Reports or JD Power & Associates?
Frank, I’m very concerned about the B-ROC’s fuel economy for it’s 2-stroke, made-in-China, Briggs & Stratton aluminum engine and the size of it’s tank. I’m hearing 15 mpg with a 5-gallon tank which is okay for city driving, I guess, but what about long trips? Can I get the bigger, ‘Ted Kennedy alcohol tank’ option? And is it true that it won’t burn gasoline made from domestic oil since it comes standard with the new ‘Pelosi Botox inhibitor sensor?’ I also read that it has the new ‘Obama commerce transponder’ that prohibits you from crossing state lines without a downloaded Homeland Security certificate. Is that really true? Or are these just vicious rumors?
Of course, The One, Al Gore, Nancy Pelosi, and the others who place themselves in the “ruling class” of the new communist state will continue to drive large, air conditioned vehicles, unlike the rest of us in the unwashed masses.
Frank, congratulations on continuing to wring cash out of PJM and also for successfully changing that car battery by yourself. The first time I tried that on a friend’s car when I was a teenager, I tried to loosen the pos side first (instead of ground), and the wrench touched the metal fitting at the end of the AC hose and arced vigorously. So vigorously it burned a little hole in the metal and vented out all the freon.
My friend wasn’t happy. Neither were the penguins who got sunburned due to my careless release of ozone-killing fluorocarbons.
For an extra $10k, do we get the option of a TelePrompTer instead of the hand signal book? It could tie in with the “Big Brother system”…instead of just the voice, we could get Obama’s face on the screen telling us how insensitive we’re being. You also forgot the new radio with no tuner…it’s always tuned into “Air America” so we can’t listen to “hate speech” from our favorite talk radio personalities.
So I’m imagining that in the book of communicative hand gestures will be the one hObama has been giving the American people since January. ,,!,,
Those Door locks that BigBrother will include are going to be coupled with sensors that detect dangerous materials. If they detect anything like, say, Cordite from your .45 cartridges, you’ll be detained for your own safety until authorities can disarm the offending propellant and ensure your safety. They will also have immediate, mandatory in-patient counseling and education camps to get you over the whole scary ordeal of having been so close to such a dangerous thing as a handgun..
Isn’t That One just swell?
Will the new GM models be like the Ford Model T and the US presidency? (What did Henry Ford say when questioned about the choices for exterior paint?)
The OBAMA of automobiles—– I can’t believe they’re bringing back the Pinto. At least I think it would be a Pinto— sure it might get you around for a short time but eventually it’s gonna burst into flames killing all occupants. (Sounds like the hand basket THE OBAMA has us in ) Or maybe a Fiat— three months of trying and still can’t get this damn thing started (OBAMANOMICS) Or perhaps a Yugo— put fuel in it , put it in gear, it burns up all your resources but gets you nowhere. (stimulus/omnibus) The point is if we stay for the ride we’re all dead!!! Get those drunk drivers out of the drivers seats before it’s to late.
Hey i drove a Yugo for 10 years! Ran like a champ once i “modified” the pollution control device. Had to put a bullet in it when i could not longer get parts. Sure wish i still had that gun, I just might need it sometime soon.
So now that Government Motors is responsible for the warranty on my new Chevy, does this mean that Barney Frank will be in charge of the lube jobs?
#7 Innominatus – Good news! I am about to relieve your guilt with science! You harmed no penguins when your wrench became part of the circuit. CFCs posing a realistic threat to the ozone layer is a bald faced lie. I was lucky enough to have an awesome organic chemistry professor who clued my class in.
Chloro-Fluoro-Carbons (CFCs) pose no threat to the ozone layer unless someone puts them in a rocket and disperses them 10 to 50km above the earth. Admittedly, CFCs can start free radical chain reactions which have the potential to destroy large amounts of ozone. Essentially, they act like a catalyst in a reaction that breaks O3s into O2s.
Luckily for us, CFCs have a molecular weight that causes them to sink like rocks in our atmosphere, so it is nigh impossible for them to affect the Ozone layer, unless some evil genius attaches a canister of CFCs to a rocket propelled dinosaur and launches it into the stratosphere to make anthropogenic global warming a reality. True, it won’t happen due to the atmospheric trace element CO2 (less than 0.005% of the atmosphere), but hey, who’s counting? Ask any HVAC repairman if he would take a nap on the floor of an AC room. He’ll say “No way you non-technical douche! Refrigerants sink, and I could suffocate if there was a leak.” (Note: HVAC repairmen talk like that.) BTW, CFCs break down when exposed to UV (ie. sunlight), so O3 is pretty much safe from us even if we did get all crazy and put CFCs in the ozone layer. Lets get serious, you would have to be one crazy blogger to think that your schemes stood any chance of overpowering the sun….
Here is the math (rounded a little): Atomic weight of Carbon, 12. Atomic weight of Fluorine, 19, Atomic weight of Chlorine, 35.5. That means the smallest possible CFC consisting of one carbon, one fluorine, and one chlorine atom has a molecular weight of 66.5 (note: real world CFCs are heavier, as they contain more atoms. I simplified this so even liberal trolls can understand how they were duped by the filthy enviro-Nazis). Oxygen (O2 – 21% of the atmosphere) weighs 16, Carbon Dioxide (CO2 – 0.038% of the atmosphere) weighs 28, Argon (Ar – 1% of the atmosphere), Nitrogen (N2 – 78% of the atmosphere) weighs 28. Put all of those gases together with CFCs, and they will rise and the CFCs will sink. Peace out.
I learn something new every day! 😉