We have only one option: We destroy the sun first.
Think of it, if we can just make our own heat source, we can destroy the sun and free float through the galaxy, tethered to no particular orbit. We’ll be free. Free!
We have only one option: We destroy the sun first.
Think of it, if we can just make our own heat source, we can destroy the sun and free float through the galaxy, tethered to no particular orbit. We’ll be free. Free!
Step One: Shoot Al Gore at the sun. There’s a blizzard at every global warming event he goes to, so shooting Al at the sun will either extinguish the sun or incinerate Al Gore. Win/win.
Step Two: Miss California is hot. All we need is a bunch of swiveling mirrors aimed at her that follow her around and reflect her hotness to those parts of the world we think deserve the warmth. The rest of them can freeze. Screw ’em, as some like to say.
Step Three: Have the dinosaurs fire their rockets, pushing the Earth out of the plane of the other planets. Because once free of the sun, we don’t want to get stuck orbiting Jupiter or Uranus.
May I suggest the destruction be planned for approximately 4.9 billion years in the future, just before the sun expands to absorb the earth, so we can get the most use out of the sun before we destroy it? I am willing to negotiate down to some slightly closer date, but not less than 4.2 billion years at a minimum. After all, the thing puts out FREE heat, light, and occasional astronomically interesting things like eclipses.
And if we destroy it, the temple at Chichen Itza will no longer be able to determine the solstices. If there is one thing we should avoid, it is an angry Mayan god.
Great idea! The Earth will travel around the galaxy like a one man motorcycle gang, beating the crap out of anything it sees.
Hey, it worked for Pierson’s Puppeteers, why not us?
You all realize that the Sun is listening to this discussion, very, very quietly from a distance and seems to be puzzled at something (no sunspots, no flares, low RF and particle emissions, etc.). All the great ones get quiet before a fight, you know. I think you’re playing with fire here, Frank.
If we get rid of the sun, we would need a source of heat and light.
For heat: I suggest we get Al Gore to say something stupid to Fred Thompson. The Fred will get so angry, his face will get red and heat radiating from it will be enough to keep the earth warm for thousands of years.
For light: No idea.
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the earth can free float through the galaxy and when we get near other inhabitated worlds will invade them and take what we want!!!! But first we’ll send all the liberals into the sun so then we can plunder without liberal saying we can’t plunder.
Actually, by destroying the Sun we get rid of the real cause of Climate Change™. Then the regressives will have to find something else to whine about, like man made viruses that cause diseases named after farm animals.
I have some issue with destroying the sun.
First it will make it dark, so I won’t be able to see a hippy to punch it, thus maybe missing an opportunity to punch a hippy.
Second it will get cold, and leftist liberals do not have enough fat on them to make good blankets. And they smell.
Third, no more girls sunbathing in bikinis. Nuff said.
Forth, are we sure its the sun? After all this comes about from nashole “scientists”. the same people that buy into al gore’s global warming hoax.
Fifth, no more sunbathing girls.
Sixth, what about all that money that that one is throwing at solar energy? Never mind, that is just to line the pockets of union people.
Seventh, no more sunbathing girls.
Then I’m gonna buy stock in tanning booth manufacturers.
we don’t want to get stuck orbiting …. Uranus.
Speak for yourself, #1!
At Plentyobailouts:
I’d like to address your concerns:
“First it will make it dark, so I won’t be able to see a hippy to punch it, thus maybe missing an opportunity to punch a hippy.”
Flashlights and night vision goggles. Also, now you get to stealth punch hippies.
“Second it will get cold, and leftist liberals do not have enough fat on them to make good blankets. And they smell.”
First off, the liberals will be used to fuel the fires, not made into blankets, second, if we are to follow IH8Socialist’s proposal, the cold will mean we will become a planet of VIKINGS! Which is pretty sweet.
“Third, no more girls sunbathing in bikinis. Nuff said.”
Okay I see this as a trade-off. Sure we lose some sexy (only on the coasts, here in Oklahoma we rarely see sunbathing), but we trade it for cute as girls bundle up in ski-gear, coats, and what-not, and this will be far more global then sunbathing is.
“Forth, are we sure its the sun? After all this comes about from nashole “scientists”. the same people that buy into al gore’s global warming hoax.”
Of course it is the sun. It’s a giant ball of fire! Do you know what is associated with fire? Demons! Also Fire Giants, and vikings (and we should be vikings) hate Fire Giants!
“Fifth, no more sunbathing girls.”
Indoor swimming pools with artificial sunlight, duh!
“Sixth, what about all that money that that one is throwing at solar energy? Never mind, that is just to line the pockets of union people.”
Well, according to IH8Socialist’s plan, we will be plundering other worlds, so we can just steal their uranium and fossil fuels for power.
“Seventh, no more sunbathing girls.”
Good point, but if women have to wear more outside, maybe they will wear less inside!
“Good point, but if women have to wear more outside, maybe they will wear less inside!”
You have slept next to a woman right? Their damnable feet are like ice. I think since they get cold easily, I’m going to have to go with POB and say this plan is not feasible until we can find a way to raise the temperature forcing the womenfolk to the skimpy side of the closet.
Are we taking the moon with us? Nuking it regularly and often would provide a measure of useful light. We should include this in the plan somewhere.
#12 we could use the moon as a dinosaur cloning lab and as a factory for all the other stuff we would need to plunder the galaxy……
we’ll just send Dick Cheney to the sun to kill it or Chuck Norris, if he needs help.
Frank. Following Carl Sagan’s belief that the universe scales to infinity in both directions – In this situation, the Earth, roaming free, could find it’s way into the yard of a next level up Rottweiler who would start playing with it like any other stray trespassing ball. We’d be drown in Rottweiler Spit.
Just one of the possibilities.
We just need to slipstream through a worm hole to a solar system that has a benign star(sun). That would be AFTER exhausting easier, but temporary stopgap measures, like ‘The Purge’ of RINOs and commie-libs to the Mayan fire god. Of course, White Dwarf stars are out (sneaky bastards) and Red Giant stars are practically cool to the touch, but surely some benign yellow star would be willing to take us into it’s solar system once we can show proof of being RINO and commie-lib free.
It might be easier to build a force field generator on the moon, that will protect the earth from solar belligerance. However, then we would have to rethink the NUKE THE MOON PEACE PLAN. Never mind, just thinking out loud.
Re #4 Pierson’s Puppeteers.
That takes me back, loved those Niven yarns, thanks,Veeshir
The Mayans were probably liberals. They’re prediction for the “end of the world” is the year when their Messiah will get voted out of office and their utopian dream will have been devastated. I think it may be more the end of THEIR world, than of ours.
As further proof, the article stated, “Worse yet, the next period of intense solar activity is expected in 2012, and coincides with the presence of an unusually large hole…” Yes, that is probably the giant a-hole that is currently residing in the Oval Office plotting our destruction.
According to the article, the impact of this solar storm would be $1-2 trillion in damage every year for 10 years.
Obama/Pelosi/Reid/Frank have already beat the sun in how much damage they can do to the US economy.
It takes a whole lot of stupid to outdo a 4 billion year old hydrogen bomb explosion that could swallow a million Earths.
Fact: There is not a single, NOT ONE solitary peer reviewed scientific article that dispels global climate change and the effects that carbon dioxide has on planet Earth. Moreover, there are thousands of such articles that have undergone the scrutiny of the scientific community that PROVES the existence and defecating effects of global climate change. If one was to say that global climate change does not exist means that a) one is terribly misinformed or b) one is lying.
I like this plan.
Worked out ok for the moon back in 1999:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_1999
At Harvey,
This is a serious debate, you shouldn’t be making light of it by making stupid movie references.
#24 Harvey,
So your saying that we should dress up like really bad actors in polyester jump suits and float about the universe looking for a new home, instead of plundering neighboring galaxies for booty?
If we do the ‘plundering the galaxy’ thing like the aliens in “Independece Day” let’s make sure we have up-to-date anti-virus software in our mother ship so some Jeff Goldblum wanna be alien doesn’t do to us what he did to them.
I’m just saying.
If we can’t do Larry Niven’s Ringworld, maybe we can do Terry Pratchett’ Discworld. Clone a really big Dino-Sea turtle for starters and we’ll go from there.
the sun is causing global warming, why not charge it taxes for its carbon footprint?
Excellent! Global Warming and Sunburns are HISTORY! You are so Fricking smart, Frank J that I think I want to have your child…oh yea…I’m like a dude so I guess I will just have to like give you a Monica or something… Umm…what did I just write? I think the democrats are making me teh gay…
Global climate is REAL. Find me one, just one, credible peer reviewed source that claims otherwise. Stop the lies! Stop lying to everyone for your political agenda. More importantly, stop lying to your selves.
#31 – BillM,
The key word is ‘credible’, isn’t it? If the report doesn’t support your dogma, it can’t be ‘credible’, can it?
But good news; Mother Gaia is getting cooler, the glaciers are increasing, the sea ice is thickening, the growing season is shortening and the number of people facing starvation, hypothermia and malnutrition is increasing worldwide as unemployment increases and available sources of fuel to heat our homes, run our industries and maintain our civilization are increasingly banned from development, hog-tied in red tape or taxed into insolvency by short-sighted, power-hungry politicians, or stalled by frivilous lawsuits.
Of course, over in China, where they got no time for foolish jibber-jabber, Coal-burning power plants are shooting up like mushrooms, so nothing will disrupt our supply of poisoned dog food, lead painted children’s toys and flamable pajamas. Maybe Someone should talk to Them about Going Green.
P.S. Global Cooling Denyers are just like NAZI’s!