In honor of Cinco do Seis, I present these:
* Mexico declared its independence from Spain on September 16th, 1810. This should not be confused with the first Cinco de Mayo of May 5th 1862, which marked Mexico’s victory over the French Army. Every day is Cinco de Mayo somewhere in the world.
* In absolute numbers, Mexico has more native Spanish-speakers than anywhere else in the world. Percentage-wise, the winner is any given Home Depot parking lot.
* The Chihuahua dog breed was developed in 1850 in Mexico. Purebred Chihuahuas are quite rare and VERY expensive. If you can’t afford one, a shaved rat is pretty much the same thing.
* In the 16th century, Mexicans used poinsettia leaves for medicinal purposes, including to help control fevers. In modern times, they mostly use hospitals in Los Angeles.
* The national sport of Mexico is bull-fighting – where a pretty man prances around while cruelly butchering an innocent animal. Sorta like American Idol, except with bulls instead of pop music.
* Mexico is made up of 31 states. 38 if Obama is counting.
* The three colors of Mexico’s flag hold deep symbolism: green is for hope and victory, red is for the blood shed by the nation’s heroes, and white is for the nation’s vibrant cocaine export industry.
* Mexico City is the second-largest city in the world, with a population of 25 million, all of whom share a single car and apartment.
* The border between Mexico and the United States is thought to be second-longest in the world – after the border between the United States and Canada – although no one can say for sure, since it’s been completely obscured by footprints.
* All of which, mysteriously, point north, leading scientists to speculate that Mexicans are made out of some sort of magnetic material.
* Because Mexico is located in an area known as the Pacific “Ring of Fire.” the region is rife with millions of small, active volcanoes. These are harvested annually and sold under the name Habañero.
* Tequila, the liquor for which Mexico is famous, is made from the native blue agave plant. It’s named after the city where it originated, and not – as American overindulgers often claim – a Mexicanized pronunciation of “to kill ya”.
* 90% of Mexicans are Roman Catholic, which is why they tend to see the Virgin Mary in their tortillas instead of Barack Obama like normal people.
* Mexico has seven hundred and seven species of reptiles. Which one is in that taco is anyone’s guess.
* Chocolate was invented in Mexico as a sacred drink for the Aztecs. The original recipe contained no milk or sugar, leaving it a dark, bitter, unpleasant mess which few could stomach without retching. Think of it as Michelle Obama in a cup.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go shave me up a Chihuahua.
Mexican towns along the U.S. border have a thriving tourist industry. Tourists are sold back to their families at a healthy profit.
Apparently, present hussein can’t count in mexican either. (See Harvey’s link. Follow link to Hot Air.)
As long as there are Mexicans….Chevrolet will never go out of business!
“Think of it as Michelle Obama in a cup.” That would be retching over a wretch, Harvey.
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leaving it a dark, bitter, unpleasant mess which few could stomach without retching. Think of it as Michelle Obama in a cup.
BARF!!!PUKE!!!BARF!!!BARF!!!PUKE!!!BARF!!! Now that’s torture………..let me go beat my head against a wall to get that tought outta my head………
I thought the White in the flag of Mexico was representative of the majority population in the countries where the second largest contributor to their GDP, Wire transfers, comes from.
The clunky VW Beetle had been produced in Mexico from 1955 until mid 2003 with little design change. In keeping with their grasp on modernity, Mexican innovators are retooling the old car factories for exciting new technology purposes. Rumor has it that they’re working on a device known only cryptically as a “CD player”.
I love IMAO.
That was great. I especially loved the “that’s why they see the virgin mary in their tortillas instead of obama”.
All the Mexicanos call O-bah-muhh, El Presidente Negro.>>>Donkey shows are not for the children.>>>Mexico, where the sopa isn’t soap, and the ropa isn’t roap, and the butter’s mantequilla.>>> The white part of the Mexican flag represents the flag used by the French Surrender Monkeys on Cinco de Mayo.
Now Harvey, you know darned well that they dig tequila out of the ground at the Fabled Tequila Mines of Cuervo.
* The green in the Mexican flag is for all the US dollars that Mexican visitors send back to Mexico.
* If Americans cut down on buying cocaine, they could hire more Mexicans.
* Mexicans at the US – Mexican border head north because they are attracted to the magnetic north pole. The magnetic north pole is in Canada. If the Mexicans could only get past Canadian customs, the Mexicans could make it to the magnetic north pole.
* People are worried about the drowning polar bears. The Mexicans, who learned how to swim by / while crossing the Rio Grande, can teach the bears how to swim.
* Swimming is going to replace foreign languages in the Mexican shcool system.
* Mexicans are proud of the worms in the ‘to kill you’ bottles. The people think how smart the worms are to get through the US customs without being stopped.
this place sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got nothing.
I just wanted to comment as ‘quatro de septe’ once.
Ok, I’m done.
thanks! this is a great homework study guide. so keep on going!
wtf why are u dissing the obamas
Angry – I disrespect the president because I disrespect his political positions, which I consider harmful to the liberty and prosperity of a free nation.
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The fifth column is moved into place sir and restless for your order.
WOW! YOU THINK YOUR SHIT SMELLS LIKE ROSES?? Come on! USA is made of immigrants, I don´t know why you believe in freedom if your nation got bigger with the help of slaves….
Let me ask you something, have you ever been to Mexico??
Actually, my shit has more of a lilac aroma.
Yes, the USA was built on LEGAL immigration.
Yes, there was slavery. Has been since the dawn of civilization. America outlawed it in the 19th century. I think this country deserves a lot of credit for that.
I’ve been to Mexico. As a civilization, it’s only moderately advanced.
Congratulations for such an amazing website! I was desperately looking for a website that would clearly show how most “americans” can be so stupid, arrogant and ignorant… CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Why are you spending time reading things you don’t like? Life is WAY too short for that.
Oh, and “Americans” is a proper noun.
You’re such a bitch y r u being mean to obama n the first lady n the mexican like seriously have u been to mexico…GET A LIFE!!! N next time if u dont knoe shit dont post anything at all!!!!!!!