Archive of entries posted on 11th June 2009

Award!

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Helen Thomas (via her shameless boy-toy FormerHostage) has honored IMAO with the “Zombie Helen (No Brains!) Worst Blogger Since Herbert Hoover Award” Award.

First, I’d like to congratulate Helen on bravely coming out of the closet on her status as an Undead-American. I mean, sure, it was kind of an open secret like Adam Lambert’s homosexuality or David Letterman’s fetish for airline stewardesses and their underage daughters, but still, we gotta give Helen the credit she’s due.

And double credit for admitting that she’s part of the shunned “no brains” community of re-animated corpses, who prefer to feast on the crunchy, empty skulls of Democrats, rather than the sweet, chewy brains of Republicans.

It’s a hard existence. Sorta like being a vegan in Texas.

As for Hoover being a bad blogger, well, in his defense, he didn’t have a Democrat president to make fun of like IMAO does.

FINE PRINT:

To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 2 Award posts), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

Everday Normal Republicans

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The first team up of Crowder and Zo from PJTV. It’s almost too much awesome.

Top Columnists

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John Hawkins has named me one of the best columnists for 2009, and I think that might be the first time I’ve been called a columnist. Of course, if you use Maureen Dowd of the revered New York Times as your standard, I should have like eight Pulitzers by now.

Hateful

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A hateful man made the news yesterday. You’ve read or heard about it, I’m sure.

This hateful old man — born prior to the U.S. entry into World War II — has, for years, spouted hate for others.

This hateful old man has a long history of criticizing Jews. If you search the Internet, you can find his rants.

This hateful old man is a racist, who has made statements that have inflamed relations between blacks and whites.

This hateful old man is a conspiracy nut. Despite serving in the U.S. Navy, this hateful old man now spouts anti-government rhetoric, and blames the U.S. for the events of 9/11.

This hateful old man was a strong critic of President George W. Bush and GOP presidential candidate John McCain. Admittedly, this doesn’t make him hateful, but it does show you something about his political leanings.

This hateful old man made the news recently. And my reaction was like many others that hear or read about him and people like him: “That darn Jeremiah Wright is at it again.”

Of course, his recent comments that made the news were pushed out of the forefront by the actions of another hateful old man: James Wenneker von Brunn, another pre-World War II anti-Semite, who served in the Navy, made inflammatory statements, opposed Bush and McCain, and is a conspiracy nut.

The difference between them is as stark as black and white. But no deeper than color. Beneath the color, there’s not a bit of difference.

That Vigilant Obama

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Who said he couldn’t talk to Obama because of “them Jews”? No, not the Holocaust Museum shooter, it was Barack Obama’s pastor for twenty years, Jeremiah Wright. Now Obama is saying, “We must remain vigilant against anti-Semitism and prejudice in all its forms” and I keep thinking about how that speech would be better with Wright standing by his side.

OBAMA: “We must remain vigilant and look out for anti-Semites.”

WRIGHT: “If I had an aunt who was a Semite, I’d beat her with a baseball bat!”

OBAMA: “Oh, hi, reverend. I didn’t even notice you there. Did you want to say something about this tragedy.”

WRIGHT: “Yeah, why was that crazy cracker shooting up a museum? If he wanted to shoot Jews, he should have shot up a bank.”

OBAMA: “And is there any wisdom from the Bible that can help us in this occasion?”

WRIGHT: “Hell if I know. The CIA is trying to give me AIDS.”

OBAMA: (laughs) “You’re a cut-up, Jeremiah. I can no more disown you than I can the black community.”

If Obama really wants to unite people, maybe he can take those who want to kill Jews and blacks and those who want to kill Jews and whitey and get them to meet together and hash out their white/black difference on focus on just killing the Jews. He can get his buddy Ahmadinejad to help out.

Obama is so useless and ineffective as president that…

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…he’s letting Iran drill for oil in ANWR.

Random Thoughts

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Have any of you stopped to think that maybe we haven’t been giving Willow Palin enough critical scrutiny?

Since the Holocaust museum shooter was born in 1920, he has of history of hanging out with anti-Semites that’s even longer than Obama’s.

One day we’ll stop saying that Palin is the next Ronald Reagan. Instead, we’ll say Reagan was an early Palin.

Sometimes I don’t know who I’m making fun of… but I’m pretty sure I’m mocking someone.