Archive of entries posted on June 2009

Random Thoughts

Posted by on

If Sanford has a lovechild, it would be awesome if, to get to know him better, he worked with him at a junkyard.

Michael Jackson will always be with us as he’s 80% recyclable.

So, any news from Iran? How are they coping with Michael Jackson’s death?

Remember the arcade game where MJ would touch a chimp and become a robot? That was fun.

How long until someone says if we only had Obama’s health plan, MJ would be with us now? Or has that already happened? Of course, do you want to make the argument that national healthcare means more pedophiles walking the streets.

“I’ve come to bury Michael Jackson, not to praise him. Also, I’ve come to dance. Woo!”

I love how EA sports games have the most options of any games and the smallest instruction booklets. Great combo.

Troopathon

Posted by on

Can’t believe I’ve neglected to link this, but there are a couple hours left to watch Troopathon and donate to help our troops. They need your support just as much as ever.

Heartbreaking

Posted by on

I was thrilled to read that a Russian cruise liner was selling “pirate cruises”, wherein tourists could rent weapons, go cruising off the Somali coast, wait to get attacked, and fire back with impunity.

However, I got suspicious that everyone who linked this story all linked to the same source at Ananova and nobody linked to a mainstream media source. Odd… figured the bleeding hearts would be frantic on this.

So I did some digging.

Ananova mentioned that they got the story from the Austrian business paper Wirtschaftsblatt.

Wirtschaftsblatt said they got the story from Golden Morgenstern & Partners.

And the story there is clearly marked “Satire!”

So curb your enthusiasm if you’ve read about this story elsewhere. It ain’t real.

Meanwhile, for your reading pleasure, here’s the clumsy Google translation of the original piece:

Rich Russians hunting pirates on Somalia

Satire! 16,000 unarmed merchant ships each year to try healing through the Gulf of Aden to sail and not the Somali pirates to be upset. A Russian cruise business now turns the tables around and loads of Russians to hunt down pirates before the coast of Somalia, the most dangerous waterway in the world.

His business idea is simple: His cruise ship is the bait for the pirates. Try the real pirates, the seemingly harmless ship to enter and experience the wonders of blue its Africans. Instead defenseless sailors are trading them to the teeth armed Russian tourists compared. A macabre tourist fun.

A day on board the chartered Kreuzfahrschiffes costs $ 5,790. It is geschippert while until the real pirates are actually attacking. At least one pirate attack Kaperungsversuch with entrepreneurs from the travel is guaranteed.

The route goes from Djibouti to Mombasa in Kenya. The ship sails as close to the Somali coast with a speed of five nautical miles along. The tourists can taste and budget in accordance with arms monoplane.

A gun-type AK-47 can cruise by the Russian passengers on board for $ 9 a day for rent. 100 rounds of ammunition cost $ 12. A grenade launcher costs $ 175 a day. These included three grenades, which are included in the rent. The use of Reeling in the permanently installed machine guns should cost $ 475.

In order for the pirates but not yet on stupid ideas, rich Russians will receive an extra personal protection. On board the ship at any time hold a large number of former employees of Russian special commands a watchful eye on the guests. The Russian elite fighters will be mainly at night for security on the cruise ship care.

As the international naval associations tourist to this military operation to combat pirates react, however, is still unclear.

Don’t Trust Your Eyes

Posted by on

See the blue and green spirals? No, you don’t. You’re perceiving the blue and green but they’re both the same color. People like to think they’re eyes are like video cameras, but things go through a bit of interpretation before reaching your conscious mind.

Trust nothing!

So Unscientific That Even FOX Wouldn’t Dare Mention It

Posted by on

One of my favorite tricks for spell-checking a word with two popular spellings is to put both versions in Google and see which one comes back as more popular (like with “adviser” and “advisor”, both of which mean “one who advises”). It’s a “wisdom of the crowd” sort of thing, and it’s sometimes useful in minor matters of taste and sensibility.

In today’s experiment, keep in mind that Obama has been in office for 5 months. George W. Bush held the office for 96 months:

I’m not going to say that this comparison has any use or meaning. Rather, like a documentary by Michael Moore, I’m going to hang a contextless fact out there and hope that it encourages people to jump to conclusions.

Meanwhile, I’m gonna sit here feeling cruelly and delightfully smug.

Oh, and just to be a scurrilous wag, I’ll point out that Obama’s name isn’t hyperlinked by Google because the man lacks definition.

Monkeys and Civility

Posted by on

More evidence you can’t be a civilized country and have monkeys running around. Who can respect the leader of a country who get regularly urinated on by monkeys? As much as people like to say political debate is low brow in this country, at least our politicians aren’t used a lavatories for lesser primates. We don’t have this problem in America because once a monkey peed on Benjamin Franklin. Big mistake. That guys is nuts. Right on the spot he invented the shotgun and went to slaughter all the monkeys in North America and you still can’t find one here to this day. And now America is the most powerful country in the world.

Random Thoughts

Posted by on

Be careful what you say about Iran today, because it may be the president’s position a week later.

Do you think al Qaeda’s members sometimes slip up and call Osama bin Laden “Obama”?

Not to spread more rumors, but I was in Argentina and I didn’t see Sanford anywhere.

Are we going to have to spend the next four years dragging Obama kicking and screaming to do the right thing in every crisis?

Can the nearest adult to the White House please takeover?

Re-thinking that we should just dissolve the Republican Party and start over. New party won’t allow any politicians to join. I don’t trust them.

I fear that Sanford is yet another indication that we as a nation are not doing enough to combat the problem of jackassery.

People Who Think the Christian Right Are Just Like Iranian Mullahs Are Just Like Iranian Mullahs

Posted by on

New column up at Pajamas Media.

It’s Nice When They Tell Us Their Plans

Posted by on

AMERICA: “Hey, Al Qaeda, we were just wondering if you took control of Pakistan, whether you plan to use their nukes against us.”

AL QAEDA: “Oh yeah. Totally.”

AMERICA: “So, if you ever seize power in Pakistan, we have ever reason to nuke you first.”

AL QAEDA: “Yeah, that would be the smart thing.”

AMERICA: “Well, thanks for this frank discussion.”

AL QAEDA: “No problem. Death to you!”

Nixon’s Revenge

Posted by on

So it’s been revealed in newly released tapes that President Nixon advised George H. W. Bush that the GOP needs more hot women.

So basically Sarah Palin is a Nixon plot.

I predict that if she wins the presidency one day, she will then use the magical powers bestowed upon the leader of the free world to resurrect Nixon. Then we will fall under his rule for a thousand years. It will be dark times with better relations with China.

You’ve been warned.

Obama’s Election Victory Lowers White Test Scores

Posted by on

In a study conducted during the 2008 election, Dr. Ray Friedman of Vanderbilt University found that white students received lower scores on standardized tests when they were reminded of McCain’s electoral loss before the test, suggesting that Obama’s presidency is crushing the hopes of young white people.

Run over by the ‘O-train’, these white children squat in the gutter from which they shall never rise.

Friedman said the white students who received lower scores were likely victims of “stereotype threat” — a fear that one’s performance will confirm an existing negative stereotype of a group with which one identifies, resulting in psychological discomfort.

“When McCain fumbled what should’ve been a ‘gimme’ election,” said Friedman, “he was a war hero campaigning during a two-front war against a limp-wristed nancy-boy whose foreign policy experience consisted of being born in Kenya. McCain’s loss created a new color barrier in a very public and important way, robbing white test-takers of their full potential.”

Friedman tested 400 subjects at different phases of the election cycle: before the Democratic convention, and after Obama’s victory in November.

In the first test, the median score for whites was 12.14 of 20. After McCain lost the presidency, whites scored 11.9.

Friedman said that McCain’s influence as a negative role model will damage white children in ways that will be impossible to overcome.

“These stupid white kids have good cause for despair,” said Friedman. “It’s not like they have anyone they can look up to in other walks of life, like music, sports, entertainment, or business. Without a white man as president, they’re doomed to a life of poor test scores and even poorer self-esteem. They might as well start growing a mullet and making a down-payment on a trailer right now, because they don’t have a chance.”

For Future Note

Posted by on

Since the President is a sissy, we can bully him into doing the right thing. Took him more than a week, but he finally condemn the Iranian government. So let’s just keep pushing him on the other stuff we want and eventually he’ll cave.

The Obama presidency could be workable.

Batman Must Have Confided to Biden Where His Secret Headquarters Is

Posted by on

Random Thoughts

Posted by on

New rumor: Sanford went alone into the woods to have congress with the devil. Or for the teddy bear’s picnic.

Obama on Iran: “Those who stand up for justice are always on the right side of history. I’m on the left side.”

Q. How do you get Obama to condemn you on a Friday?
A. Commit an atrocity on Monday.

Got MST3K on DVD. Reminds me of more peaceful times when the worst threat was being trapped in a satellite and forced to watch movies.

Patriotic Battle of the Bands

Posted by on

Here’s “We the People”, by Lloyd Marcus – a conservative with some vocal talent – who bills this as “the NEW Tea Party Unity Song”:


[YouTube direct link]

The title (NOT the actual content) of the above song put me in mind of an old Schoolhouse Rock short called “The Preamble”:


[YouTube direct link]

Do me a favor:

Watch both of these and vote for your favorite.

Which song do you like better, "We the People" or "The Preamble"?

  • The Preamble (81%, 152 Votes)
  • We the People (19%, 36 Votes)

Total Voters: 188

Loading ... Loading ...

Feel free to discuss the reasons for your choice in the comments.