Archive of entries posted on 1st July 2009
The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks
Obama is so useless and ineffective as president that…
Capitalist Propaganda: “Tyrannosaurus Debt”
From 1996, the Schoolhouse Rock episode, “Tyrannosaurus Debt“:
Remember back when the debt was only $5 trillion? This video makes me really miss those days.
It also offers a brief history of our national debt, and speaks of the debt in disparaging tones while calling it names – a combination which some Monster-Americans may find offensive.
Foreign Policy for Beginners
I don’t get Obama and Honduras. Why would we want to prop up some guy who’s trying to become a dictator against American interests? I could see some real warmongering president doing that because he wanted more challenges, but Obama doesn’t need more challenges. In fact, he needs like the bunny slope of foreign policy. Like maybe Canada doesn’t like how we make fun of hockey or Jamaica demands more steel drums or Belgium is scared and needs a hug… that sort of thing. If he screws up, worst we get is cut off from maple syrup exports. Right now, he’s dealing with Iran and North Korea where if he screws up someone gets nuked. That’s not fair to him or us.
How about he let’s Cheney take over the hard stuff while he’s still on the training wheels. I think it would work well for him. Anytime something goes wrong, he can say, “That’s that bad Cheney!” I think he’s already starting to miss blaming things on the Bush administration, so he will probably really like that. And we all don’t get nuked. Everyone’s happy.
Why They Hate Her
Award!
So Frank shoots me an email saying “This blog needs more nepotism! My Uncle Bruce gave IMAO an award. Post it so that I can tell my stupid little sister that I already filled my quota of family-member blogging for the year and she’ll stop nagging me to mention her costume-designing credits”
Thus Uncle Bruce has honored IMAO with the “The War Against Wall Street Award” Award.
What Frank didn’t mention is that Uncle Bruce is one of those diabolical Wall Street types himself, who goes around tricking people into sending him money, which he then squanders on worthful stocks, leaving unwitting investors with nothing but their principal plus capital gains and dividends.
A low creature, indeed. And one to be avoided.
If you MUST invest, remember to only do so for purposes of spreading the wealth around, because that’s good for everybody. It’s ok not to punish yourself for your success, but DO make sure that everyone behind you has a chance for success, too.
NOTE: Still caught up. Non-Frank-family-member submissions now being accepted!
FINE PRINT:
To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.
Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 0 Award posts – NEXT SUBMITTED, NEXT POSTED), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.
As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:
If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to harvolson-at-gmail.com and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.
For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint
Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.
IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.
Now get honoring!
Random Thoughts
I guess “damnable harpy” doesn’t work as a term of endearment. The couch sure is comfy, though.
“You can see his stripes but you know he’s clean.” Dio, I checked the internets, and no one knows what you mean.
I think my new hobby is going to be beating up celebrities. I’ll start with D-List and work my way up to A-List. Should be good exercise.
I think a good A-List to beat up would be Brad Pitt, but I’m afraid that afterward I’d realize I was actually him the whole time.